"June 20, 2021"
Unprofessional Side Note:
Typical Erich. Forgetting Holidays. "Father's Day is in JUNE Erich. Father's Day is in JUNE."
I can imagine my Dad in his lil functional nook in heaven, laughin' when I jumped the gun & snapped us into "June 20, 2021."
(For more information on our "Time Traveling Safe Space, check out our show on YouTube called: COSR Talks :)
Naturally, this Freewrite is just like the other ones. Strictly "Mind to Paper."
That being said, I'm surprised at what came out... but that's the point of #6cardsaday.
The last card, for me, carries the same feeling of getting a package in the mail: pleasant surprise you can get addicted to! :)
"6 CARDS A DAY" TRANSCRIPTION
When consoling me for not getting even the B Honor Roll. My dad gave this to me: "Those awards say nothing about the content of their character, only clues." Somehow, my dad was one of those that could spin a lesson out of nowhere. "Think of all the gossip people trade in their spare time when they could be spending their time learning." (Always sneaking a message for me in his lessons.) "Think of the judges & awards they collected on the way to being a gossip piece."
"Dad, they're public figures. They kind of asked for it." While it is true that the industry of gossip wouldn't exist without the synergy between the public & "performers," its the stewardship of attention I'm interested in. Dave Chappelle mentioned how the industry was a "monster..." so what are the whims of the internet? What does measureable & publically visible metric means for the monster that created the monster? Is it to cliche to imagine we can finally manage these monsters when we acknowledge the monsters in ourselves?
Today is Fathers day. A touchy subject for me because I get the experience of not being able to see mine to celebrate. He left, but it wasn't his decision. Because of what I believe, I have to imagine that his miserable departure had a reason. "The ground is cursed..." which means (for me)..."you can't always get what you want." As the great philosopher "Jagger of Mick" had concluded... "if you try, you can get what you need." I took my father & our time together for granted. What I needed was to realize that too late so I can relay it enough so it won't happen to anyone else.
I didn't expect to go here but the practice is "5mins. Mind to Paper..." This is why I freewrite. So the memories I need can remain in the fore of my imagination. "Lessons are in your childhood." And I ignored alot of lessons my dad was trying to teach. He didn't know his own body would betray him during the formative years of my 20's. I didn't know how for my arrogance would keep us apart. Who can know? Even if God knew... Even if I knew... Even if we had TOTAL control of the circumstances... There is nothing... There is experience. I hate it. We have no choice. But we can have faith. What a fun life of paradox, revelations, & living words.
We have choice until you start pulling the threads of the Cosmic Perspective. Then choice becomes irrelevant. Choice is a series of markers in a person life that summarizes the content of that character in question. But who is in charge of writing the summary? Can there be such thing as "bias" to a Cosmic Level Judge? These freewrites are summaries of what I'm thinking but that same judge would know I believe in a God that even planned those thoughts & even the results of the actions summoned by those thoughts.
If I'm breaking spacetime then there must be the corresponding freewrite. Which means you're reading this on BuyMeACoffee because that's where my freewrites are. Which means you understand when I make these stupid jokes about time travel. But you also will believe me when I tell you I didn't know June 20 was Fathers Day. I just picked two weeks, did the date math & executed. So you're catching a fun mix of catharsis & mental gymnastics that fill the white space on these cards before the timer rings. :)
Guys. This was emotional. I can tell because a pitcher knows what kind of ball he threw. I wanted to share more moments but... that'll take time.
I am a Christian. I believe there is a purpose of all life. I just miss him in my bones. When I write while my dad is on my mind, it ends up like card 4. All up in the cosmic perspective of things.
Missing him isn't suffering. Its momentary suffering... then a reminder that all things work together for good.
Now, all I have are the best memories of that man.
I love you dad.
I really miss you.
Thank you for showing me how to navigate the unknown.
Till we meet again.
See you guys June 21, 2021!
