Shift stuck feelings with empowering questions

If I could help you discover a way to shift some of those intractable, stuck-feeling emotional patterns and habits, ways of thinking, feelings of anxiety, or feelings of being stuck behind something that isn't serving you, would you be interested? Yes? Well, I was having a conversation this morning with a friend, and she was telling me about some of the issues she's been having. She got very emotional and started to say, "I just have so many questions. I don't understand why I am still having this problem. Why am I this way? Why can't I seem to get over this or get through this?" I asked her a very similar question to what I just asked you. I said, "Well, if I could help you discover a way to ask those questions that might help you get a more desirable answer, would you be interested?" And she said, "Well, yes, of course, I would." So I'm going to assume, since you're listening to this, that you're also saying yes. The first step would be to shift the language. Every time we ask a question starting with "why," we're going to get an answer to that "why." It's not that the word "why" is wrong, because it can be very powerful in a positive way. But it also can keep you really, really stuck, because if you're asking, "Why can't I get this?" or "What's wrong with me?" you're going to get the answer to those questions. "Why can't I do this?" There are a whole slew of answers that come so easily, and none of them are productive, helpful, or move you from where you are to where you want to be. They actually tend to have the opposite effect. So simply by changing a question from "Why is something the way it is?" to "How can I make it?" and choosing the desired outcome — or even if you don't know your exact desired outcome, which is really helpful to know what your intention really is — ask it, "How can I move past this? How can I feel something different?" And then, "How can I start to define for myself the thing that feels different, that feels good?" I know for myself and for so many of the people I have talked to, my clients, defining what we want can be one of the most slippery, difficult challenges for us, especially because we are often programmed to not allow ourselves to want what we want. It's not safe to want what we truly want; we have to justify what we want for ourselves. It has to be okay with a whole bunch of other people, primarily our caregivers when we're children. So, the first step is to shift the language from "Why am I this way?" to "How can I change? How can I make a positive change?" Try that and let me know how it goes. Then, in our next conversation, I'm going to take you through a hypnotic process that can help you really make some movement on that change. So stay tuned.