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Our Realities shape how we see the World. But that does not mean they are the only correct one.
Have you ever argued a point with someone who appeared to be strongly standing by the opposite side?
Do you think they could be Right?
Does it feel uncomfortable to admit that their own, personal experiences may be adding to their Perspective on the Subject?
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Sometimes the greatest “Intellectual Trap” we get trapped in is believing we are always correct.
There are different reasons as to why people opt to defend their truths than listen to arguments of those that have opposing viewpoints
But we must remember that everyone we meet has their own reality, built on decades of unique experiences
I want to focus on a few important reasons why people struggle to see outside of their own perspective and how we can acknowledge these factors to make correct judgements about others’ opinions;
and discussing the psychological phenomenon that causes us to always be ‘correct’.
The main reason that we are unable to view others realities is that we believe. That we have the most accurate Perspective.
Our thoughts, ideas, and opinions are formed by our Values and guided by our memories. That’s what makes us us! If two people were to witness the same crime, one of them may think the accused is “Guilty”.
Their mates may see the suspect as reasonable because of what they saw on the Scene. It is important to remember that different Experiences create different Realities.
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For example:
If you have never known Poverty
You will discover it significantly harder to relate to homeless people.
If you have never betrayed anyone or been betrayed, trusting and being trusted by others comes naturally.
Their Beliefs arose from the different experiences they had in their lives. They live in different Worlds. But every one is Valid in its own Sense.
We must accept the fact that we cannot fully comprehend what somebody else has been through.
However, that does not mean we should look down upon those with whom we disagree since we now better understand their Opinions.
In the article mentioned above, I also mention how humans have a psychological tendency to favour information that supports their opinions over data that would dismiss them.
We call this cognitive bias “Confirmation Bias.”
For example:
If my friend is constantly rude towards others in every situation. I would think of him or her to be uncultured. If another friend of mine was unfriendly but kind in times of need. Without hesitation, I would assume the best.
When faced with contradicting opinions, most people attempt to find more information regarding their existing ideas to dismiss the Opposing Points.
They do so because of Confirmation Bias. In our quest for being ‘Right’, we gather facts in order to confirm our opinions and attack the ones who share them.
A quick and easy fix to this is to constantly remind yourself that your Perception has Validity. But is by no means absolute.
Being able to listen to somebody’s opinion and assess it without passing judgement. And finding new information in response is a Skill that will greatly improve your chances of succeeding in your Relationships with other people.
Here are a few pointers for the next time you need to have a constructive debate:
1. Remember that every person’s reality is not the complete truth.
2. Remind yourself of the experiences that may have affected their decision.
3. Consider how your current views on a topic are not entirely right.
4. What evidence does each side provide? Is it possible?
5. Ask yourself whether you are trying to be right or are merely seeking understanding.
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To Conclude:
Our unique realities shape how we perceive the world in specific ways. It is vital we do not become trapped in a cycle of attempting to always justify being right.
Because that will not bring us any closer to being Correct. We need to understand other people First and Foremost in order to see what the World is like through their Eyes.
There are times when, our personal truths do not align.
It is helpful to remember that we do not always know the real reason that a particular opinion has formed in another Person.
In the same way, this is why our own Reality is probably not Perfect. We don’t know what’s going on with everything.
This Post was Originally Published On Medium and Cross- Posted Here!