How does the looming possibility of another lockdown level 5 feel? Another hard lockdown; the risk of having to face crippling brokenness feels like too much uncertainties for a single week in South Africa.
As what one may define as a working-class citizen - I don’t even know what the fuck I am - between knowing that I’m highly skilled but mostly grossly underpaid and often overlooked due to my lack of a degree. As some of you might know, I was a CV writer and I've decided to quit that line of work entirely, here's why:
Thankfully, being raised in a socialist household allows me to look at myself beyond my means. Knowing who I truly have often saved me from giving up on myself. Understanding systemic injustice allows me to understand my worth beyond whatever value is assigned to me by an industry.
In 2019, I sat down and wrote a poem called A New Way of Being. I cried onto paper as I tried to decipher why I was emotionally distraught over Uyinene Mrwetyana’s death. As a mother of three daughters - I feel like I’m raising my girls against an unrelenting tide - where your only crime, your only transgression deserving of death is being a woman. Anyways, I’m digressing here. In the poem - I wrote:
Gather yourself and find a good spot to cry,
‘Cos it’s about to get real…
Sure enough, at the beginning of 2020 - shit got real. As I prepared to bring my last born into the earth - the world was slowly being overtaken by a novel flu-like virus. Only more deadly. In my head, I thought surely this too will pass. Fast forward to June 2021 and shit’s really real. Our government has fumbled through this crisis. Trusted cadres in corruption continued to innovate ways to loot funds directed to the poor. In South Africa, that has to be the saddest reality we face. The biggest farce has to be discontinuing the R350 grant for the poor and economically disadvantaged. Instead of downgrading the lives and salary packages of the public servants, the poor were essentially given a signal to shove their poverty up their own asses.
I’m so sorry to be so fucking crass but I’m frustrated. I’ve been sitting on this newsletter for months. I can’t figure it if I’m coming or going. All I know is I’m here and just grateful to still have you as a friend, colleague, client, or whatever, associate... Labels suck, but we still have each other through everything is one of the best feelings ever! So, thank you :-)
We’ve had to contemplate our lives as we lose loved ones, every week social media is overtaken by a hashtag. Not all of us are famous enough to be hashtags, and still, it all hits home to experience loss at such magnitude with numbers of infections and deaths steadily on the rise.
So, I guess as a collective human race, we don’t know if we’re coming or going - all we know is that we here... I really can’t comprehend how I feel all the time. Sometimes, I’m actively sinking and at other times I float on okay.
So, as we navigate these uncertain times - I’d love for us to navigate these uncomfortable waters together. One word at a time. Every two weeks, I’ll be sharing a poem or a short story, a video on my YouTube channel - Big Chats with Vee, and finally, an essay on my blog or a publication kind enough to accept my rambling.
Please do me the amazing favour of subscribing if any of this interests you - and please leave me a tip towards my education which I aim to pursue next year! If you're keen to collaborate, use my services, or just chat please visit: https://vreoagile.wordpress.com/