I read something today that spoke to that deep, quiet part of me.
While the person began with stating when one has PTSD, I would say, especially these days, that these words I am to share apply to many of us, more than ever.
You load your dishes into the dishwasher, you press the start button and nothing happens. For those not only with PTSD but who have been hit hard by these financial times, that dishwasher moment can bring up all sorts of things in the body.
The ongoing financial impingement and theft we have been under that is not shifting or improving for anyone (except those at the top of that ugly pyramid). i.e. - yes it is the creators of this ongoing financial system of theft causing this mess and yes that is where the responsibility belongs.
And if you have struggled for too long, carrying too much weight on your own, in your own home, that broken "fix me!" dishwasher moment can become that moment where you break inside.
Where the weight of carrying far too much for far too long collapses in on you.
And you just, lose it.
Your response isn't weakness. It's the cumulative result of simply carrying too much on your own.
More and more I see videos and reels of people saying "I cannot do this anymore!" "I don't have subscriptions. I don't go out to eat. And I'm still not making it!" "People tell me to get another job or work harder. I can't take on anymore!"
Social services are flooded with people in need.
Wait-lists grow longer.
I feel like I'm staring down the end of a shotgun barrel wondering how I am going to afford to live must less thrive for the long term if things don't improve.
So when that dishwasher breaks, for me personally, these are some of the many things carried in my body that come up in such moments.
So some may say "it's just a broken dishwasher" but it is far more than that for many of us.
It's never about the dishwasher.
For those of us with dysregulated nervous systems when having had to deal with such "small" moments over and over and over again.
So that breaking down is just a human who has held too much for too long without the relief, without the safety needed.
So the next time you are in that situation, be gentle with yourself. Be compassionate. Ask for help. And if you are on the receiving end of being asked for help, if you can, please do so. With compassion. Understanding. Kindness. Because as long as this current reality continues to play out, these basic human behaviors are something we could all use a little bit more of.
💖
Victoria
Welcome! I'm Victoria, Mama, writer, pianist, and storyteller.
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