I'm doing it.
I told myself I wasn't going to, but here I am anyway - diving into a topic that is creating division, chaos, drama. My work here has always been focused on more light-hearted commentary. But I also try and include insightful commentary as well to spark inner reflection. Conversation.
Healing.
Change.
And as a woman living in this world, there are some things that need to be said.
When I can step back from all of the inner wounds and loud opinions in my brain, I can see things from a higher perspective.
And those perspectives deserve to be seen.
Perhaps even NEED to be seen.
What motivated me was seeing the countless - and I mean countless - number of comments - mostly coming from men - a few women - but predominantly men - about how we need to repeal the 19th Amendment. About how women are just far too emotional to hold the same rights as men. How we need to strip women from serving on jury duty.
Based on one case.
On one woman.
I have been seeing so much of this each day, I decided to do something.
I knew I needed to include my voice.
Let's start with some salient facts, but first I want to add I am not excusing her behavior. I am not downplaying the utter tragedy of the deaths of three children nor am I saying she doesn't have any accountability. It's a complex case and for me, it is not black or white. This piece is focused on just a few questions that I feel need to be asked, regardless of the circumstances or details of this situation.
Every day, worldwide, 130 women and children die at the hands of intimate partner abuse. Spouses. Boyfriends. Fathers. All of whom kill 130 women and children each day.
93-96% of all pedophiles are men. (https://www.childsafety.gov.au/about-child-sexual-abuse/who-perpetrates-child-sexual-abuse)
80% of violent crimes (and their respective arrests) are committed by men. (https://ucr.fbi.gov/crime-in-the-u.s/2012/crime-in-the-u.s.-2012/tables/42tabledatadecoverviewpdf/table_42_arrests_by_sex_2012.xls)
Given these statistics, for me, this begs the question: Why hasn't there been a backlash calling for the stripping of men of their rights?
I mean, fair is right, right?
I'm being both logical and facetious.
Because clearly, actually following through on something like that is not the answer to the male-dominated violence epidemic. You do not punish an entire gender for the behavior of a few, which hovers around 1-2% of the total male population. (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3969807/) Of course I must add a caveat - that simply because someone is not arrested or a crime not reported does not indicate there has not been violence or abuse. I know this from first hand experience. Unfortunately many states, many countries, do not recognize psychological, verbal, emotional, even financial and mental abuse. Most look at abuse as something that leaves broken bones or scars or DNA evidence. Or death. So I question that 1-2% stat.
But that's a topic for another possible future post.
I also want to include the Mental Health Industry, who clearly failed this woman. I follow an account on social media - a man - who has a vast understanding of the industry as well as the effects of psychiatric drugs. He has decades of experience in the medical and mental health fields. He's a wealth of knowledge, in particular in this situation, on the effects of psychotropic drugs. And one of the drugs the Psychiatrist prescribed for Lindsay can induce psychosis in some people.
Psychosis - defined by having hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren't there), delusions (strongly held thoughts or beliefs that have no basis in reality).
And we know she was on a cocktail of these pills, which combined with sleep deprivation (which on its own can induce psychosis) can make for a horrific, terrifying mental health state AND reaction. Here are some of the questions this man I follow had share:
"Which drugs showed high levels in her system post event? Why is that relevant? Which drugs was she on when incorrect for the a patient, destabilize the patient further? Which drugs can increase energy in a depressed patient enough for them to have mild mania? Which drugs in her system would create a blur between reality and fantasy, a wake dream state....
And most importantly which drug(s) could trigger a biological state change (even when the drug is long gone) that disturbs REM and the vital clearing of neurotoxins?"
I ask the questions:
Does some of the responsibility need to include those who were putting her on these drugs?
And the manufacturers OF them?
Lastly, and this may be the biggest one of them all, is the media.
They are masters of manipulation.
I am reminded of that 80's classic, Dirty Laundry. "She can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye. It's interesting when people die. Give 'em dirty laundry."
That is even more relevant today, given the access to media 24/7. Ah how I miss the days when if you wanted to know the latest headline, you had to wait until 5pm or under the newspaper came out the next morning.
We had to WAIT for the dopamine fix.
Today?
It's available 24/7.
But I digress...
Would we even be talking about any of this if this case hadn't been everywhere, 24/7, the last several weeks?
No, we wouldn't.
But that doesn't mean we cannot find some common ground in the chaos.
While the world is busy pointing fingers, I feel more called to ask the tough questions (and I have more that I am choosing not to include in this piece).
To engage in meaningful conversation, which as we know, social media has made that process all but obsolete.
We've forgotten how to relate.
How to listen.
How to handle those emotionally-charged moments where strong disagreement is at play.
Perhaps one way to deal with all of this chaos is to take a time out.
Much like we do with our children when they are young (although I think it's a useful tool to do regardless of our age).
Some time alone to think.
To reflect.
To see past our filters. Our programmed opinions.
And heal from the wounds that this very individualistic, toxic reality creates the scenarios for to create the trauma's to begin with.
And truly talk about how we can do different, so that we do not have to ever again see such a headline as the L.C. case.
💖
Victoria
Welcome! I'm Victoria, Mama, writer, pianist, and storyteller.
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