Late evening.
Making hamburger patties to freeze for later.
As I engage mindlessly in the process, I wonder....
Why do I feel so much better at night?
Why do I feel like I can let it go, release and breathe and have the Universe all to myself when all is dark and quiet?
Why are the daytime hours so often a challenge for me?
Why is it the sun can feel both wonderful and warm and overwhelming to my senses at the same time?
Why does my brain work better at night?
Why is it fear feels the same at 5 or 55?
Why is it I still keep so much inside - pushing away my own needs - until those feelings of panic come over me?
Why is it so difficult for me to cry lately?
Why is it I see beauty in Raw Emotions in others but I carry this complex confusing combination of pride and shame in keeping mine to myself?
Why do I find myself snapping out of what feels like a robot-like trance at times - where I stop and have to literally check in with myself to feel?
Why is it I can be so energized and excited over a new idea only to lose the energy a day or two later?
Why is it I feel myself being torn to shreds within - every. day. - in my own house?
Perhaps once I see myself - others will too.
Love,
Victoria