I've got this embarrassing tick
that seems to get worse during periods of stress. Perhaps you’ve seen it. I pretend that people don’t notice it, so maybe you’ve been polite and pretended along with me. It didn’t start until adulthood when I was in a horrible relationship – but that’s another story. For this story I’ll explain the twitch a little and give you a funny story.
I played tennis in high school and college. It appears my right shoulder really liked those motions so much that sometimes, without warning, my right shoulder thinks it’s time to sneak in a good forearm return with topspin and perfect follow through. And, when my right shoulder really wants to make a scene, it’s so forceful that I can't help but let out a Monica Seles-worthy grunt (you remember watching her play tennis back in the 80s-90s, right? She was the loud grunter and the one that got stabbed!)!
So, there I was at a new job.
I was at my desk attempting to look all professional, while answering 911 calls when out of nowhere Monica (yes, I refer to the shoulder as Monica) decides it’s time for an ace.
My arm took a wild leap skyward, and I unleashed a grunt that could rival an Olympic tennis match. I slowly turn around, my face feeling flushed and most likely beet-red. Any guesses on who all witnessed it? Yep, everyone in the dispatch center of course! My coworkers were all gawking, I mean, who could blame them? That’s some grade-A level weirdness right there!
Then one of them pipes up, "You alright?"
I chuckle nervously. "Yeah, that just happens sometimes, I’m used to it."
"So that’s a normal thing for you?"
They exchange puzzled glances.
"Yep," I sigh. "It wasn’t mentioned in the application process – oops, stuck with me now!", as I let out a mischievous grin.
Laughter erupted. "That's hilarious!" one of them chimes in.
I smirk. "Not so funny on first dates or especially during funerals, though."
That time the laughter was even louder. After the laughter calmed down a coworker said, "but hey, at least you're funny about it!"
I let out a one-sided grin. "Yeah, you're right."
Then, I decided to tell them about another instance I had with Monica, "One time, I was chopping some veggies for dinner, when all of the sudden, my shoulder decided to punch forward with a mean forearm volley. I almost stabbed my girlfriend in the chest!"
My coworker nervously looked at me as if she is waiting for me to say I was joking. "You can't be serious!"
"No joke," I say.
"Dinner prep almost became a crime scene.
I almost turned her into a shish kabob."
"Well," I shrug, "too bad I missed. Could've saved myself years of struggle and heartache."
She bursts into laughter. "You are going to fit right in here with that twisted humor! And hey, at least now, you can laugh about it!"
I nod and sarcastically say. "Yep, it seems this shoulder thing is just the new me - yay."
So, if you have a body part that plays an imaginary sport without your consent, you might be like me!
Sincerely,
Your favorite mediocre writer
This is the first installment of a series. If you enjoyed it please consider following, subscribing, commenting, and/or sharing to your networks! You may just find out you're more like me than you thought! Sorry/not sorry.
Thank you for reading this article.
If you like what you read please consider following me on Medium subscribing here and/or connecting on LinkedIn. Want to become a Medium member? Here's my referral link.
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
I’m not sure what I’m more addicted to: coffee or creating content. But one thing is for sure, I can’t do one without the other. So, if you want to keep me caffeinated and creative, please consider buying me a coffee. I’ll use it to fuel my creativity and keep creating the content you love. Or, if you’re feeling generous, you can buy me a coffee and buy Hazel and/or Holly a treat. I won’t say no to either!