Hi, I write about open water swimming, depression, ducks, friendship, and lessons I learn from swimming in the lake near my home.
I started swimming in the lake four years ago during COVID lockdown to rehab my leg after a traumatic accident. The pools in my city were closed, so I started swimming in the lake, assuming that it would be just like swimming in a pool. Wrong. It was so much harder, and it took me a few months to figure out how to adapt my style and stroke to lake swimming.
Still, it was glorious to be in my body again. After spending a long time in a wheelchair, it felt miraculous to be able to move. The injury had left me with serious depression and PTSD that was not responding to therapy and medication. I was also struggling with a decades-long chronic disabling illness. It was a very dark time, to say the least.
I took to the water instantly, and every time I swam I felt better about myself. The water seemed to calm my nerves, resetting my nervous system. I felt more in touch with my core self, the me I had lost years before because of illness. When summer ended, a friend from MN sent me a wetsuit so I could continue swimming into fall. By December, I wall still dragging myself out of bed to go swimming in the very cold water because I got such a high from the experience.
Now I swim a few times a week, and it is the best thing I do for self care. For health. For joy. I still struggle with my disabilities, but I prioritize swimming because it gives me access to myself, it allows me to commune with nature, and it is fantastic exercise. More than that, it has been a meditative and spiritual practice. I can clear my head and let go in the water. I have made peace with the milfoil that scared me when I first started. I greet my departed friends and relatives in the sunbeam tunnels I see under the lake's surface on sunny days. I have become friends with other people who frequent the park. I have connected with other women who also love the water as must as I do.
After my swims I write quick "brain dumps" to record what I saw, how I felt, and any insights that appeared in my mind during my time in the water. I don't edit these reports; I just throw them up on the blog.
Follow me, and learn about swimming for mental health. Living on disability benefits is excruciatingly hard because the income does not cover basic needs. I'm using my "coffee" donations to pay for things like prescription drugs, fresh berries, parking when I have medical appointments and other small necessities. Thank you for your support.
Recent supporters