"When loving-kindness is the space into which the unloving arises, we do not meet the moment in fear but instead with fascination and gratitude and even joy for this sometimes difficult healing." - Stephen Levine
"Everything you are feeling, name it love." - Andrea Gibson
Welcome to the middle of the Month of Metta challenge! And congratulations to the Walk for Peace monks completion of their 2,300 mile, 109 day journey from Fort Worth, TX to Washington, DC! Their arrival aligned perfectly with a Mindfulness Meet-Up on February 11, 2026 where we joined their global Loving-Kindness meditation to conclude their journey. What a phenomenal example of the power of hope for peace to bring people together and remind us of our shared shared burdens and values.
I was not expecting THIS from a daily Loving-Kindness practice...
When February 2026 began, I was especially EXTERNALLY FOCUSED due to the daily news from the ICE occupation of Minneapolis and the deaths of Renee Good, Alex Pretti and all those who have died in ICE custody. The current administration's dehumanization of immigrants is intentionally shocking and cruel and I was prepared to struggle to hold enough Loving-Kindness in my heart to meet the current moment. Surprisingly, my heart has leapt at the opportunity to extend beyond my immediate circle and EMBRACE ALL BEINGS EVERYWHERE when it feels like I can't do anything else.
What I was NOT EXPECTING is the TENDERNESS I have encountered when extending Loving-Kindness FROM MYSELF TO MYSELF.
In therapy this week I shared that I am reaching for more and more grounding activities in response to feelings of ANGER, GRIEF, ANXIETY, and UNHAPPINESS. There are moments, or sometimes whole days, where it doesn't feel like my mind and my body are in the same place - and feeling so DISCONNECTED only escalates these uncomfortable emotions. I am grateful for my toolbox of grounding techniques; like my favorite low-toned singing bowl, a slow yoga flow, and mindfully doing tasks like hand-washing dishes. My insightful therapist asked, "When these emotions come up, are you turning toward or away from them?" I realized all of my soothing, grounding techniques were being employed as a DISTRACTION instead of as a SUPPORT FOR INTEGRATION. I have been skipping over the MOST IMPORTANT - and the HARDEST - part.
"In the beginning, we attempt to cultivate loving-kindness. Later, loving-kindness cultivates us... (Loving-kindness) means meeting with mercy and awareness, recognizing that we don't need to change anything, but rather to add mercy and awareness to this moment so that what is can be as it is." - Stephen Levine
There is so much coming up for me this month that IS but I ACTIVELY RESIST and do not allow to BE. I don't know where I developed the HARDNESS that shows up when an uncomfortable emotion arrives, but it can be really difficult for me to allow anyone to witness it - including myself. But this month's Loving-Kindness challenge has been SOFTENING THAT HARDNESS every time I extend love to myself in Metta meditation. With practice, I find am BUILDING THE CAPACITY to simultaneously HOLD SPACE for the emotion and EXPERIENCE that emotion. As I develop this ability, I can meet those difficult emotions with "mercy and awareness" rather than FEAR.
Without going into all of my therapy work here - let's just say I haven't run out of things to talk about YET - I developed a FEAR OF BIG EMOTIONS from a young age and that pattern continues to impact the way I engage with life. For a long time I was cut off from my own emotional experience because my mind was protecting me from what felt DANGEROUS. But shifting FROM FEAR to CURIOSITY to AWARENESS to MERCY and LOVING-KINDNESS has changed my entire experience! These emotions still FEEL HEAVY, and clearly I still resist, distract, and ignore them sometimes, but when I DO make room for TENDERNESS and meet them with MERCY and LOVING-KINDNESS, I am learning the edges of my emotional capacity have expanded since I was a child. A Month of Metta is allowing me to exercise that muscle and build strength and trust in the CAPACITY OF MY HEART.
May the capacity of your heart expand to meet where-ever your edges are today. And when it's time, find some beautiful grounding practices to come back into balance after engaging with any heaviness with all the TENDERNESS you need.
Much love and Namaste
-Kjirstin