Pt. 5 of revealing all the behind-the-scenes details of what this developmental edit was like this year! And of course we come to the question: what was the hardest scene to edit?
Now, most all writers have specific scenes they are better at writing than others. My strong suit is writing emotionally reflective scenes and fight scenes. So those weren't too impossible to revise. However, my weak point has got to be conversation scenes. And of course, it was a conversation scene that was the hardest one to edit.
Now, there is an art to not making dialogue cheesy. It is truly a skill to choose the right tone and the right words for each character. And I think it is so hard because it is written word. Because with film, you are watching; it is visual. But when it's in a novel, the visual exists only in the readers imagination. The right word choice brings them there. Just slapping a cheesy conversation together pulls them out of this visual. And the visual is best when the characters feel real. Part of being real is realistic speech.
And I won't say I'm a pro at it, but I will say that every conversation in Champion's Escape has been redone more times than I could even keep track of lol. But by far the hardest one to do... was when Aspen originally got dragged into the mystery.
Let me lay it out for you: Chance is a last minute addition to the tournament. And right off the bat, you can tell there is something a little off about him. He doesn't seem like the rest of the citizens of the stadium. And when Aspen and Chance first meet, he says some things that are a little sus. She tries to track him down, but loses him.
When she finally sees him, she chooses to follow him in order to get some answers. When she reaches him, she sees him breaking into a room, which is against stadium rules. But guards were coming around the corner. Soon, he was going to be in big trouble. In a panic, Chance pulled Aspen inside, and they both entered the room, essentially making her an accomplice.
The conversation that follows is probably the most important one of the whole book because that is where the reality of the mystery begins to unfold. Chance reveals he's an intruder, that he's on a mission, and opens Aspen's eyes to the lie she's been living. And Aspen has to respond to all of this realistically. Which was hard for me. Cause like, how on earth would anyone respond to all of that at once? Thankfully, my editor was very helpful, telling me that Aspen should be more curious, questioning, and being active within the scene.
I think it is officially it's best version, which is exciting lol. I'm so glad that it is better. And actually the best thing that helped me improve this dialogue and all the other dialogue is this trick: Give each character in the conversation their own intent/motive. Basically, give them a reason they are saying what they are saying.
For example, with this scene, Chance is panicked and frustrated. Why? Because he just got caught and had now roped this witness into it. So what is the intent behind all that he's saying? He's trying to scrape up the pieces of his plan as it's all falling apart.
For Aspen? She's confused, but also wants to obey the rules. She doesn't want to be in trouble, because she knew the cost of disobedience. So her intent? She's trying to figure out what's going on and trying to get the potential consequences across to Chance. She ultimately wants them both out of there so that neither one of them is punished.
These two intents contradict. She wants to get them out, he's still trying to salvage his failing plan. So, this compelling argument ensues. And all of the back and forth leads to Chance admitting that he wasn't from there at all. Which plays off a lot better than the original (him instantly just telling her all his secrets right off the bat and her basically being indifferent to this news).
And this strategy worked for all of the dialogue bits, so maybe it will help you with you're writing too.
Until next time! 💛