What If You’re not Accepted?

If I don’t get into circus school…That’s okay! If I don’t get in! it’s okay! I will be so disappointed but it will be okay!  I’ll still be pursuing my goals of being a full time performer but I will be taking a different route.  I’m at a point in my journey where I need to take some big steps. so if I once again don’t make it into school I will be moving to a bigger city and putting together my own training plan.  Other cities have higher level coaches and more disciplines than are available in Cincinnati. I will be able to take lessons in any discipline I’m interested in and have the added flexibility of being able to work more than a full time program would allow.  I would also be able to continue performing since I have all my own equipment.  Some cities I’m considering are San Francisco, Chicago, Seattle, or Boston. I’ve visited SF and Chicago and know they have the facilities, coaches and resources to grow the way I want to and I’ve had friends recommend Seattle as well as found studios/spaces with tons of offerings.  It will be hard to leave Cincinnati since I’ve established pretty consistent gigs and my performing partner is here.  I’ve also got my network of producers, performers, instructors and students in cincy as well, but I’ve always had the inkling that I want to move elsewhere just to experience somewhere new. I know the access to high level instructors will make a huge difference for me.  Part of me would be relieved to not get into school since this feels like the financially safer route, but I truly think the structured school setting will help me reach the highest level I can be. And right now I’ve been DIYing the training through private and group lessons and personal training and it’s an exhausting process.  I’d really love to have the set routine of a formal program.  When I was rejected last time I was so heartbroken and devastated but it only pushed me further and it was honestly such a huge motivating factor for me.  I’m a completely different aerialist than I was the first time I auditioned so if I am rejected again it’s just another way to learn and network.  And Circus schools have to prioritize what they need in that moment, maybe they’ve got too many lyra artist or they just need more ground acts so its not always something to be taken as a personal attack on your skills or art.