Dearest Friend,
The story goes like this- the Russian Csar once went hunting, and while hunting, he came across a bear cub. The cub had been abandoned, its mother had either fled or been taken away by poachers perhaps, and this baby stumbled alone in the snow, through the Russian wilderness and Russian winter. The Csar was certain that the cub wouldn’t see the next morning. Usually this would mean an easy hunt for the Csar, but on this occasion, he couldn’t bring himself to it. Instead, he carried the cub to his palace and kept it as a royal pet. The cub was fed and cared for and taught tricks growing up, and the Csar was sure that it would grow up to be harmless.
But as most Russian stories go, the bear cub grew up into a proper bear, and as bears do, it made its escape out of the palace one day- after tearing part the Csar and his family. And although there are more than one lesson to be learnt from this story, I think the most pertinent one is that our efforts and love don’t always receive the reciprocation they deserve. Maybe it’s not in the nature of certain things, places, or relationships to be as rewarding as you’d hope for them to be. Maybe, the bear is the representation of all those hopes that are unfulfilled, all those dreams that remained dreams, and all those wishes that never saw light.
It hurts, doesn’t it? As humans, we love, we hope, we try, we wish. And most importantly, we give. Sometimes, or most of the times, when we don’t see the fruits of it all, it hurts. Who doesn’t want to be loved back, to get what they really hoped for, to see their efforts paying of, or for life to turn out the way they wanted? You, me, all of us. But, that’s rarely the case. In fact, the story of our lives is much closer to the Russian tale than the Disney one. But, does that mean that we have to stop loving, stop hoping, trying, and wishing? No.
Let’s say you find an abandoned bear cub, you think of the Russian tale and hence wouldn’t dare to bring it home like a pet. But, what would you do if you saw a puppy or a kitten? Yeah. It could turn out to be an entirely different story- IF WE CHOOSE TO KEEP LOVING, HOPING, AND TRYING. It is not that easy, I know. It’ll never be easy. But here are a few things I’d like you to keep in mind- things that I try to remind myself too.
1. Don’t let one person become the spokesperson for the world.
When someone doesn’t return our love or appreciate our efforts, it’s easy to believe that nobody ever will. But one person’s inability to receive what you gave does not define the value of what you gave. Don’t let one experience convince you that love is always wasted, kindness is always taken for granted, or hope always ends in disappointment. Believe in life’s ability to surprise you through different people and different seasons.
2. It’s ok to grieve the version of life you imagined.
We hurt not just because of what HAPPENNED, but also because what DIDN’T. Maybe the friendship did not last, the relationship did not grow. The opportunity you thought would work out, didn’t. Or, a certain choice did not lead you to where you wanted to go. You do not have to rush yourself to “move on” without processing your grief and disappointment. Allow yourself to mourn it before asking yourself to move beyond it. Give your wound the time to heal.
3. Give your hope some room to breathe.
There’s a difference between remaining hopeful and remaining stuck. You don’t have to stop believing in love, kindness, or better days. But you also don’t have to keep waiting at the same emotional doorstep for someone or something to change. Hope grows when it has room to breathe and move. When you turn your attention toward the life that’s unfolding in front of you, and work your way through that, that’s when you start healing. That’s how you would move and keep the hope burning.
4. Don’t measure your heart by the outcome.
There will be times when your love isn’t reciprocated, your efforts go unnoticed, or your hopes don’t unfold the way you imagined. That doesn’t mean they were meaningless. A kind heart doesn’t lose its worth because someone failed to recognize it. Keep becoming the kind of person you would be proud to meet. Even when life doesn’t return what you gave immediately, you are building and beautifying your character. That’s what matters.
In the story, the bear returns to the wilderness. In real life, it sticks around- like a lesson, as memory, and as a reminder that we can and should do better. It’s never wrong to hope, to love, and to keep trying. And I hope, that you’ll keep doing so.
Yours in love,
S.
Hope II- Gustav Klimt (b.1862 | Austria). Carrying vulnerability is nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t let it keep you from finding joy.
Welcome to The Count- a place where you can find some happy happenings in the world!
The Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam brings art to life for blind and visually impaired visitors
This museum uses a multi-sensory program called Feeling Van Gogh so that visually impaired folks can enjoy art too.
Young Fathers in The United States are spending more time with their children and family
According to a new study, fathers in the United States are working significantly less and are investing that time in their children.
An international team of researchers, led by the University of Castilla-La Mancha in collaboration with the Karolinska Institutet, reviewed a large pool of past studies that explored the link between cardiorespiratory fitness and numerous mental health disorders.
A Research team from China has discovered a way to generate electricity from tree trunks
And the method is turning wood into a multifunctional solar-thermal energy storage material. Sounds like rocket science, but a good initiative.
This section is a little corner where we borrow practical tools from psychology- small, therapist-backed ideas that can make navigating everyday emotions just a little easier.
The Circle Of Control
When life hurts us, it's natural to spend a lot of time thinking about things we wish had happened differently. A simple psychological tool called the Circle of Control can help bring our focus back.
Outside your control:
someone loves you back.
Whether people appreciate your efforts.
The choices others make.
The past and how things unfolded.
Within your control:
How you respond to disappointment.
The kindness you continue to show.
The boundaries you choose to set.
The next step you take, however small.
Whether you allow one setback to define your future.
The next time you feel stuck, do this practical exercise: Draw a circle (or 2) and list everything in your control inside the circle and everything out of your control outside the circle. This will help you to gather your thoughts, calm down, and take the next right step.
So, this section is where we dissect a feeling- a feeling we can’t name, don’t know why it comes, and how to deal with it.
ANATOMY OF SELF-HANDICAPPING
Feeling: Have you ever wanted something so badly, but found yourself putting it off, not giving it your best, or convincing yourself that it wasn’t worth trying anyway? Maybe you delayed sending in the application, didn’t prepare properly for an interview, avoided telling someone how you felt, or gave up on something before you had really begun.
What Is It: This is called Self-Handicapping. It is a psychological defence mechanism where we unconsciously create obstacles or hold ourselves back before a situation that matters to us. By doing so, if things don’t work out, we can blame the obstacle instead of questioning our ability or worth.
Why Does It Happen: Self-handicapping often develops after repeated disappointment, criticism, rejection, or failure. It becomes the mind’s way of protecting itself from further emotional pain. If we never fully try, we never have to face the possibility that our best wasn’t enough. Ironically, this short-term protection often keeps us from the very opportunities we hope for.
What To Do:
When you notice that you are self-handicapping, Ask yourself, “Am I avoiding this because I don’t want it, or because I’m afraid of what might happen?”
Focus on progress rather than perfection. Showing up imperfectly is still better than not showing up at all.
Break the task into one small, manageable step. Often, getting started is all what you need to do.
Here is a soothing and encouraging poem for you!
The Thing Is by Ellen Bass ©2002
If you’d like to try my ETERNAL HAPPINESS 2026 CONVENTION DIGITAL NOTEBOOK, do visit The Fuzz Shop via this link: (Digital convention notebook also available in SPANISH and GERMAN)
https://linktr.ee/thefuzzbysharyl
As we come to the end of this edition, I just wanted to thank you for spending a little part of your day here. I hope you found something that stayed with you. If this edition meant something to you, I'd genuinely love to hear from you. Your thoughts, stories, and replies remind me that none of us are navigating life completely alone. You can leave a comment, send a message via Instagram or mail me at [email protected]
And till the next edition, here are a few small things I’d like you to do and write about.
3 Things To Do
Do one thing you’ve been putting off because you were afraid it wouldn’t work out.
Spend 15 minutes doing something that once brought you joy, without worrying whether you’re “good” at it.
Write one kind sentence to yourself on a sticky note and keep it somewhere you’ll see it this week.
3 Things To Write About
What is one hope you’ve quietly given up on? Do you think it deserves another chance?
When was the last time someone’s kindness made you feel seen? What did they do?
What part of yourself are you proud of, regardless of how life has turned out?
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A SMALL TIP FOR THE FUZZ by Sharyl
Till the next Track,
Namaste!