The article will adopt a reflective narrative style, focusing on introspection to provide clarity and depth to the exploration of the topic. I will take you through the train of thought based on the topic of “Learning to Rest Without Numbing.” In the context of focusing not on addiction itself, but rather on the journey of self-discovery and the refinement of habits that do not serve us well. Resulting in a more positive and health-conscious transformation of behaviors moving forward. This article seeks to embrace a memoir format, offering a self-reflective viewpoint through affirming writing while employing the second-person perspective to convey its message. The guiding question that I will take you through is, what’s been the difference for you between finding silence and sedating discomfort? How do you know when you’re numbing versus nourishing your feelings?
How you feel about life itself is important to consider. The individual must have a strong desire to engage in their current activity. The person must genuinely want to wear that identity. It has to be an authentic gesture. If you don't own your life, you're not the author of yourself. It is essential to take full responsibility for all your actions, as this empowers you to control the outcomes and impact of your decisions. Why be subservient? You must be the master of your kingdom. You've got to own it. You can't just walk into things with your eyes half open. You have to walk into things with your eyes fully open. You have to know what you're getting into. You have to take possession of your life. You must take time each day to remember that the world out there is trying to tell you who you are, no matter what meditation or mantra you choose. And there's a world inside of you here that's trying to tell you who you are.
The world outside is loud, alluring, and filled with temptations. It has all the tinsel and all the glitter. It's got all the toys. But that's because you don't think you're enough in the first place. What have you discovered about yourself when you’re truly resting, with no substances, no phone, no noise—just you and the moment? If you don't think you're enough in the first place, the whole idea of the world selling you stuff is, first of all, they have to make you feel bad about yourself or less than in some way. And it doesn’t mean that you resent this system. It is the system. There is the expression about it. Something like “Don't hate the player; hate the game. Don't hate the game. Love the game because you're in it.” So, take ownership of the game, embrace the rules, and adapt to them. The world will attempt to define your identity, but it is essential for you to determine who you truly are. There is an ongoing battle between external perceptions and your self-identity, and a reconciliation between the two is necessary. Consider the ongoing internal battle within yourself, prompting you to reflect on the conflicts between your perceived and true identities. There's the you that you want people to think you are, and there's the you who you are, and you're trying to figure out—how do I figure out who I am? Do I have a correct assumption of how other people are perceiving me and how I actually am objectively, or am I bullshitting the world with the identity I’m hanging onto?
There are two identities. One's real, one's false. The external world is me asking you to tell me who I am. That's what we're all playing at. And as soon as you start to play that game, we run into all sorts of trouble. Call it the ego. But that's the dynamic that we're in. Somehow we have to provide ourselves enough confidence to reassure ourselves that we are enough. However, you enter the game because you've got to move on in the world. You need to make progress in life, and you will be aware that many temptations may arise along the way. So, you must own yourself. You are going to wear it and you are going to own it. Now, I don't mean by paying for it. It's your idea to put on those personas. You have to personalize it in some way. You need to understand a story that lets you wear that particular state of mind so you can put on your thinking modality and go out to face the world. You have to worry twice as much to try to catch up to the terror that the original alarm gave you.
You had a vital moment when you realized that all the little bits of time you had been wasting over the past ten years had been messing with your mind, not slowing it down but speeding it up so much that you couldn't focus on one thought and drifted from one to the next. The hypertextuality of false breakthroughs made it hard for you to pay attention in your regular life. Routine got messed up, you lost track of your plans, and you let the notion that came to you straight away come out without taking the time to think about what you were going to say first. Engaging in substance use as a means of escape rather than considering the mindful actions available for achieving rest. Chronic substance use gradually leads individuals to a state of hyperarousal that includes overworking, overthinking, and excessive stimulation. Those strings of actions aren't the best ways to stay healthy and hold yourself accountable in a long-term commitment. Struggling to cope with your own emotions can hinder your capacity to provide support to others in the future, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness in fostering healthy relationships. Without a solid basis in your relationship with yourself, you will struggle to form relationships with others.
It’s all boiled down to the question of are you nice to yourself? Ask yourself directly if you ever feel or get lonely. Can you live and appreciate being alone with yourself? Are the conversations you have in your head healthy? You need to work on having a good relationship with yourself to some extent. Be the kind of person you would like to be friends with. If you are the type of person who makes promises and then breaks them, if you care more about what other people think than what you think. You are not a trustworthy ally. You are a horrible friend to yourself. Let's add the definition of "self" to your definition of "two people who agree to grow together." The same principle goes for external relationships you try to build with others. You are one individual who agrees to progress with yourself. Pose the question to yourself, "Do I genuinely believe that I am taking steps to help myself become a better version of who I am?"
It's okay to feel sad, mad, or alone. You can feel whatever you want to feel; just let it happen. You can feel two things that are opposite at the same time. For example, I think of my creativity as the ability to make sense of the mess or deal with a lot of problems while there is death, grief, and uncertainty all around me. You might have more than one feeling at the same moment. You can be depressed and down and still have fun at the same time. Sometimes we feel bad about how good our lives are when we see someone else who is having a hard time. When you feel fantastic and the person you're talking to is in a bad mood, you might feel humiliated. You can be honest with others about how you feel, even if it doesn't match how you feel inside. Understand what's going on and offer to listen or give counsel to someone who needs it. Ultimately, the key question to ponder is, "Am I actively contributing to my growth and striving to become an improved version of myself?"