Well, this meme just about sums up a relationship I had.
The best and also the worst, because it’s never all bad, is it?
At understandingthenarc on Instagram
He loves me. He loves me not.
This is how a relationship is with a narcissistic personality. You are on a roller coaster ride of highs and lows. Or “love bombing” and then “devaluation.” This creates a trauma bond when you are deeply connected to the person who is dominating or controlling your life. Some refer to it as similar to the Stockholm Syndrome. Stockholm syndrome is a proposed condition or theory that tries to explain why hostages sometimes develop a psychological bond with their captors.
Last night, I listened to a video that explained what could happen if a narcissistic person experiences a catastrophic narcissistic ego injury.
I believe I unintentionally caused a narcissistic injury. While he was still with me post-separation. I didn’t know anything about ‘narcissism’, but the behaviour I experienced in those 4 weeks before he left did leave me confused, in grief, in fear, traumatised and then suffering anxiety.
The rage was unleashed in my direction, “projection”. I had become the ‘ENEMY’. I was going to be punished. It was October 5th 2020, when I received the email that triggered my emotional well-being. The post-separation experience just ramped up to a whole new level when he used the Civil Laws of “precarious eviction” to threaten that he would go to court and I would leave with no financial support. Plus, for good measure, I was told he had never loved me.
And two years later, it was the free public-appointed solicitor who said, “Why didn't you leave if it was that bad?” and she also said, “Go back to your family, go back to the UK”
These professionals need education on being trauma-informed. So that they do not “shame” and “re-traumatise survivors” of this type of abuse.
She didn’t even ask if I had a family to return to. If you know anything at all about “narcissistic abuse”, coercive controlling behaviours, or emotional and psychological abuse, victims are often isolated from friends and family through the devaluation process. Sometimes, victims are moved hundreds of miles away from their support networks, when this happens the abuser can have more control and less chances of their victim or supply running off and abandoning them.
I later discovered that this appointed solicitor was not working in my best interests at all. Listen to my “Story Time Video” as I reveal how I discovered why a court official had told me five days before the Spanish Civil Court Verbal hearing that the lawyer was not helping me.
I hope you can support me.
Help me to share more of my content and monetise my Journey through Post Separation Abuse.
I have three overlapping litigations, and I need to pay for legal representation in the criminal case.
Here is the link to the petition that I talk about in the video. Please sign and or share the petition. https://chng.it/LK8mJ7bLhH Thank you.