And so, we arrived at the spiritual dimension of the human being. For some of us, mystical; for some, nonsense; for others, a natural part of their lives.
This book is written with the acknowledgment that my personal healing journey is framed mainly through the perspective of spiritual identity – the I, or, in the dynamics called Isness, truthful being.
In the same breath, I need to add that I find spirituality to be an intimate part of the human being, perceived and interpreted subjectively. This means I am definitely not proposing universal “truth”, but my insights, with difficulty put into words. I believe that the essential principles are the same, regardless of wording, so I hope everyone will find their own understanding echoed in this book.
I am inviting everyone toward a mindset of openness and freedom to recalibrate the language for your particular needs and understanding, as spirituality can manifest in various, even non-spiritual forms. We could talk about subconsciousness, conscience, intuition, about energy flow, quantum physics, or the observed yet uncomprehended physical laws. What matters is the message behind, which I am honestly trying to share.
Maybe before talking about spirituality, I should uncover a bit more about myself. From early childhood, I have had this sensitivity, just like my brother and my mother. Simply, we “feel” things. Framed scientifically, we could talk about sensing or expecting happenings far outside statistical probability. Nothing that would be recorded, measured, nothing was scientifically proven; therefore, the risk of personal bias is inherently high here. But we will talk much more about the connection between science and belief in the next chapter, while searching for the I.
For now, only to shake the world of materialism a bit, we have to humbly acknowledge that our knowledge is based on our very limited five senses, limited scientific measurements, and actually scientific premises resting solely on a belief in their future verification. I consider myself a scientist; I am very serious about physical, biological, chemical laws. And I am equally serious about their limitations.
Because of the scientific limitations I observe and the spiritual experiences I have, I am somehow naturally becoming more spiritual as time and knowledge run through my life. To help you understand my perspective, I would like to share with you one of the most notable and obvious events.
It happened some ten years ago, when I was with my friends in the Kenyan jungle, climbing down a cliff near waterfalls. Facing the cliff and standing only on my toes, I felt my hands slip, and I began falling backward. All lost, my body tipping away from the rock, with boulders waiting perhaps five meters below for a direct blow to my spine and head. Deep in the Kenyan jungle, no one will rescue you. Suddenly, I felt a warm push towards my back; against gravity, I was lifted upright and glued to the cliff face. I securely climbed down. Three of my friends, waiting below, saw it and were mesmerized. As a scientist, I tried to search for an answer, any physical force that could have pushed my falling body back to the rock, but I found no scientific explanation. By this, I am inviting you into my spiritual reality.
Spirituality
Attuned to the spiritual realm, life brought me to academic studies of spirituality. Now I know that theory about spirituality is probably as valuable as theory about driving. Still helpful, but if you do not do it, you do not know it. Despite my lifelong focus on spirituality – my bachelor’s, master’s, dissertation, loaded with faithfully built theories and some ad hoc experiences – I was sitting in the car and I could not drive. Naturally, I crashed, forced to stop pretending and slowly learn to do some real driving.
Although much could be shared, overwhelming quantity would serve little purpose here. We will attend only to the essentials with the aim of preventing misunderstandings. Also, for simplification, we will, for now, consider our true identity as a general unity of the mind and the spirit (in neuroscience referred to as “narrative self” and “core self”). Even though I will be explicitly mentioning the spirit, please do not overthink now how the spirit is merged with the mind; just keep it as one entity. The next chapter will be immersed in this complex theme of human identity. Thus, each mentioned act will be plainly bound to you, as you perceive yourself, with all your thoughts and core identity.
First, to understand spirituality, we must recognize that spirituality is defined by transcendence. Since that may not have helped much, let us first define what transcendence is. We can understand transcendence as the spiritual sphere in which a person realizes self-transcendence.
Okay, enough joking; I am going to dive into this seriously now.
Basically, what is academically called self-transcendence is simply the act of us stepping beyond ourselves and the material world around us. By stepping beyond the self, we naturally enter something, and that something is broader than ourselves and more complex. A simple example of self-transcendence could be an honest act of love.
So, this “something” we are stepping into, which is broader and more complex than ourselves, is called transcendence. And this makes sense, as by transcending ourselves, we enter the dimension of transcendence. For an easier grasp, we can say that transcendence includes everything that does not make sense from the perspective of our egoic existence in any way. If we are not doing something for survival or the preservation of our species, it is likely inspired by or a part of transcendence.
And there we are in the spiritual dimension. Is our spirit part of the spiritual dimension? Definitely yes; each of us has their own spiritual dimension, with the spirit at the center, being part of the whole spiritual realm. Is our spirit part of transcendence? That depends. No, if we are isolating ourselves from transcendence and our spirit is imploding into itself. Yes, if we are opening ourselves up, stepping beyond our current limits and horizons, beyond the biological and psychosocial world, broadening our present existence in transcending the logically explainable self. That is what we already mentioned as self-transcendence – the manifestation of the spirit opening into transcendence, when the spiritual dimension of a person is entering the wholeness of the spiritual realm.
The spirituality itself is then perceived as that deep inner longing of the spirit for self-transcendence and true identity, and at the same time, a connection to transcendence, which includes peace, humility, and selfless love. I would also like to add that the spirituality of each of us may carry different qualities, as unique inflections of our spirit.
Why, among all these terms, do I mainly gravitate toward spirituality, and why do I find spirituality the most important? Because our spirit is – it is us. Transcendence also is – it is what we are longing for. But the spirituality is the approach itself. Spirituality is what we experience, what we feel inside pulling us and giving us the momentum toward fulfilment. Spirituality is what we can speak of as the most perceptible part of our spiritual dimension.
Well, there we are. I believe, I hope it was easily digestible. Still, I would like to share two observations regarding the spiritual dimension of the human being.
First, our spiritual dimension, like all other dimensions, needs its fulfilment. As the body needs food, the mind needs consciousness, the spirit longs for its fulfilment in transcendence. The spirit’s desire for self-transcendence is an inseparable part of our true existence.
Secondly, what we perceive as a deep inner desire for fulfilment – and I dare to call it the desire for self-transcendence and true identity – has absolute freedom and independence from any outer condition, is limited only by ourselves, and exists purely as a dialogue between us (no matter how limited) and transcendence itself. In other words, the dynamics of our deep spiritual fulfilment in the spiritual dimension is entirely independent and realized in unconditional love, peace, truth.
Spiritual Longing
Given that the desire for deep spiritual fulfilment is inseparable from the human being, the need for its fulfilment is entirely independent of our belief system, any religious orientation, or our spiritual awareness. It simply – is. Just like hunger, simply is. Each of us naturally views it through our own experience and perspective, we choose various approaches, but this does not change anything about its existence. We cannot expect that looking at hunger differently will change it to non-hunger. Or that suppressing hunger will make it disappear. We will stay hungry. And more hungry.
We have already talked about our emotions, our body, our mind, and about our difficulties in perceiving them coherently and tending to them in freedom and honesty. And it is still much easier to comprehend our physical, psychological, and social needs, as they are easier to describe, understand, and are often even observable by others. However, our spiritual needs are so subjective and subtle.
Then on one side we have rigid religions with their rules; on the other, free spiritual movements, with sometimes extreme, pathological manifestations. What we observe as the portrait of spirituality commonly bears little relation to the sacred, which presents the purest of love, wisdom, truth, freedom. It is to the shame of so-called spiritual leaders that, as a consequence of these misconceptions, we are blinded to the reality of our spirituality within our own honest way, and we have difficulty understanding what spirituality is, what and how we should perceive, grasp, or expect.
Nonetheless, even if we are unconscious of our spirituality – our spirit’s longing for fulfilment – or if we ignore it, the inner push will force us to seek our deep inner satisfaction and identity elsewhere. It will influence all other dimensions to seize upon whatever comes their way promising to be that deep existential fulfilment. The need for deep spiritual fulfilment will manifest in our lives according to how we distort it. We may wish to become high-performing, successful, famous, or rich. Or we can remain merely in a state of desire and envy. But in the suppression of spirituality, we are still exposed to dissatisfaction, emptiness, and futility.
Worst of all, while we are restricting ourselves from transcendence, our spiritual dimension is growing more isolated, and our spirit is imploding. This does not mean we necessarily feel it – if we are running faster than our spirit’s longing, it may manifest only in “weak” moments of intimacy, mental unwinding, or when we can no longer run. Further consequences on the psychological, social, and biological dimensions are not difficult to imagine.
Approaching Spirituality
Even if finding a safe path to spiritual fulfilment in today’s fast-paced lifestyle is not easy, it remains essential. Historically, we were swimming (or drowning) in traditional religions, but I must emphasize that despite common, terrible shortcomings in their interpretations, we were still offered a relatively safe way to fulfil our spiritual needs, anchored in clear moral and spiritual values.
In the understandable and natural course of history, where one extreme is challenged by another, today – with the natural decline of traditional religions and the simultaneous, unceasing human longing for spiritual fulfilment – we see the rise of various alternatives with diverse focuses, content, and spiritual substance, often causing more spiritual confusion than calm.
Yet I am convinced it is not solely us, lost in this confusion outside and inside ourselves, or in the spiritual realm, searching for our deep spiritual fulfilment. I do not believe in a scattered, non-personal, non-inviting spiritual dimension. I believe we are invited, we are desired to become part of wholeness, amid this realm through the spectrum of ways the implicit dynamics and principles are explained.
However, at the same time, I am convinced the spiritual realm is not sterile, meaning that the spiritual dynamics is real, and God is not the only one who shapes our spiritual dimension.
In the previous context – while new spiritual alternatives more often plausibly prioritize a deeper knowledge of the self and the spiritual dimension, they also commonly forget that we know very little about the rules of the spiritual world, and they often approach its challenges heedlessly and, in my opinion, dangerously. Egoistic pride as the leading power for spiritual enlightenment is very much in contrast to spirituality itself.
Spirituality needs humbleness to access its virtues, such as love, peace, or truth. Otherwise, we can be easily deceived. Hence, I personally prefer to approach spirituality with the immense humility and respect of a student, rather than a grandmaster. In my belief system, humbleness also allows God to approach me and help me navigate the spiritual realm, as I am open to advice and guidance, rather than being in an “I-know-best” mindset.
As a side note, the same humble perspective I have decided to prefer while considering my spiritual experiences and insights. What I mean is that most of us have some opinion on spiritual belief, some have their very own experience, and while usually aligned in basic spiritual values, many approaches, observations, insights, and experiences differ, causing our truths to be in tension, if not divergent. I find the spiritual dimension so colorful that it is better to be cautious about the truth, as even repeated observation and experience do not prove the absolute truth of the spiritual realm and its principles. We are limited by our bodies, our brains, our five senses, and we know as little about the spiritual world as can be known.
Spiritual Fulfilment
Despite previously emphasizing humbleness, here I cut loose to state that the spiritual dimension of a human being is very real. If one is being attentive, it is observable; and if one is being sensitive, it is also perceptible. At the same time, I refrain from framing it as the fourth dimension in the holistic model of a person, for in my understanding, it is the dimension that permeates and defines all the other dimensions, and its fulfilment is the ultimate path and goal of life.
As already mentioned, I believe that God is tirelessly showing us the way, seeking every means through which we might open to our spiritual dimension and, beyond that, to transcendence. I also believe that God patiently calls for our attention through all our dimensions, and that by turning our gaze from the spiritual dimension, we simultaneously lose a comprehensive picture of ourselves, our identity, our relationships, our mind, and our body. We thus continue through life with a narrowed gaze, and since spirituality cannot be deterred, we are forced to narrow our gaze more and more, until we close our eyes completely and, at last, stumble – which is a unique opportunity to re-evaluate our approach.
In no way do I want to suggest, nor do I subscribe to the simplification that all problems stem from our spiritual wandering and that all solutions lie in the fulfilment of our spiritual needs (although my own opinion is not far from this). But I do maintain that a condition for deep human satisfaction lies in perceiving and understanding our spiritual needs, and that their fulfilment is the ultimate goal of our lives, and thus the ultimate priority.
Finally, to conclude this overwhelming (and beautiful) insight, there is one important and interesting aspect of the spiritual dimension threading throughout this chapter. Now focus, please, as this is important. When we perceive spirituality as a deep inner longing for transcendence, and, at the same time, by dedicating ourselves to living spiritually we actually transcend ourselves (thereby self-transcending and touching transcendence) – we see that the fulfilment of spirituality happens precisely through spirituality itself.
In other words: to reach the highest degree of our inner satisfaction – the spiritual fulfilment in transcendence – we need nothing other than to attend to and develop our spirituality itself. No one and nothing else – no other activity, possibility, freedom, ability, or relationship – can respond to our deepest inner craving for reaching the purpose of life but spirituality.
Driving
As in previous chapters, here too I am offering an insight into my own experience. As I stated at the beginning of this chapter, theory about spirituality is about as valuable as theory about driving. Theoretical knowledge and the very memory of personal experience may easily exist detached from a living, internal spiritual life.
If we look at me: for forty-four years I absorbed information about spiritual life and had personal experience; spirituality was far from belief – it was a fact, actually my academic and scientific field. I am not saying that here and there I did not occasionally touch the spiritual realm, or that I did not experience even entire periods of “enlightenment”. But incapacitated as I was in my wholeness, it was practically impossible to unconditionally embrace myself with understanding, freedom or love.
As such, naturally I sought fulfilment in every other dimension. I pursued performance, projected and implemented my identity into my relationships, my work, the people I met, and as if that weren’t enough, I naturally tried to manage the “emptiness” by pushing harder. Again, I am not saying that the spirit did not have its moments, but I certainly was the man with a continuously narrowing gaze until, a year ago, I inevitably stumbled.
Thankfully, it was that collapse – a lifetime-unique opportunity – that literally forced me to finally stop. Now, in the (perceived) abandonment within incapacitation and silence, I was ultimately constrained to face my endless striving and chasing. Locked in a massive, chaotic tornado of bewilderment – having no clue who I am or what is going on (yes, I knew I had probably totally screwed up) – it took long months of inner torment before I could at last acknowledge that I was truly ignorant of my deep spiritual needs. And again, it is difficult to touch our spiritual realm in a fast and, in my case, also detached life.
After one year, the process remains ongoing, unfolding the clues, insights, and complex themes (which I delved into in the third part of this tetralogy – the Spiral). By letting the cleansing (and tormenting) tornado pass through my life, and granting myself time and space to fully unwind (not that I had much choice), I slowly began to experience that deep transformation and expansion of my bodily existence beyond my present mental understanding.
Over time (to be precise, a full year after the collapse), I graciously comprehended that other dimensions are inseparable from the spirit, and their states directly affect the state of my spiritual dimension. Consequently, attending to the spirit healed my relationship with my body and mind, teaching me to tend to them with genuine love. And so, at last, importantly, I realized that self-transcendence can happen only in wholeness.
The Capstone
My entire healing journey is intertwined with and immersed in spirituality. It is spirituality that is inviting us into the search for the sacred, for what we are – in freedom, in love, in truth, in the divine. It is the one responding to the genuine human yearning to encounter transcendence and touch the eternal. It provides us with the capacity to move beyond, opening up to present being, to others, and to the universe in wholeness.
It is sensible that we cannot surpass ourselves if we stay within our limits. I do not wish anyone the intensity of the purgatory I went through, but each of us has his own path, and for me it was what it was. Ultimately, it has been redemptive, tearing apart illusions, allowing me to immerse deeper into spiritual freedom. (And I find it far better to endure eye-opening purgatory while still in the body, whose limited five senses substantially restrict the full spiritual catharsis.)
We need time and space – I’m correcting myself – we need to create time and space for ourselves to internalize the extent of the spiritual dimension and its permeation into all other dimensions. We need time and space to unfold the intent of our deepest inner craving, and we need ample inner freedom to digest that no external achievement can satisfy it, including knowledge or acts of spirituality.