I felt a hint of dizziness as I stood staring at my image in the bathroom mirror before a total blackout. Coming around, I scrambled to free myself from the wedge I was using my hand to hold unto something: anything. My hand flopped down as it grabbed the next solid item it felt. I hit the floor again submerging further between the narrowness of my bathroom radiator and the toilet seat.
At that point, my husband barged in through the toilet door and scooped me off the toilet floor. I was oblivious to the passage of time, but I felt warm blood streaming down my lips and jaw. I remembered nothing except the event before I felt dizzy. My body shook from the trauma of the fall.
I looked around the four walls of my room, a bit confused; each movement of my eyes caused pain. I trembled with the pain that shot through my head. I didn’t fathom the full event. One minute I was in the toilet getting ready to make wudhu and the next I was in agonising pain.
The Event After The Fall
Things escalated quickly. A trip to the doctor revealed some scary news. It turned out I had a convulsion. My doctor requested various tests to clear the air and the results had me swimming in the deep sea, holding on to dear life trying hard not to drown. I was deflated. Getting out of bed every morning was difficult.
On the contrary, it was hard to believe I was the same person marvelling at the Persian Gulf a few days prior to the fall. The air was warm and I could taste the saltiness of the sea at the back of my throat. I felt its sweetness and vigour. The clock stopped ticking at that moment granting me the rare pleasure of embracing the serenity the time offered.
I lay on my bed wriggling in pain pondering over the fragility of life, our time and how often we missed the chance to take the moment by its horn.
Lesson We Often Ignore
It was at times like these that I valued the importance of freedom, my body’s ability to create magic and how ignorant I had been to the sheer joy of being alive. It is right to say I wasn’t the only one ignorant of the passage of time. The ability to live a relatively healthy life, tailgating life around without any significant restriction is undervalued by many.
The gory stories we hear never ingrained the lesson they should. Somewhere someone just got diagnosed with a terminal disease. Someone ended a long-term relationship or was forced out of a job they’ve invested in. Life happens differently to different folks. We filtered through life by burying our busy heads in the sand pretending we are not part of this whole system named LIFE.
Every Moment Counts
Again, in the agony of the weakness of my body, I resolved to make every day count. This wasn’t the first time I made vows to make good use of every passing moment of my life, but there’s something unique about this moment. This time, I would have to live up to expectations
Unexpectedly, the 7 weeks I spent spiralling on my bed wondering if I would ever get back to my normal sent me back to the drawing board of my life. However, this time I am ready to make a life out of my life. Nurturing every moment of life is a must. Appreciating every breath, taste and sight. Creating space within me to reflect on the wonders of the universe. The harmonious functions of the cells in my body. The beautiful people that surround me and the underrated ability of sustainability.
Do you not see that God sends down rain from the sky and makes it flow as springs (and rivers) in the earth; then He produces thereby crops of varying colours, then they dry and you see them turned yellow;then He makes them (scattered) debris. Indeed in that is a reminder for those of understanding
Q39 verse21
I vowed to keep it all together, to appreciate now, to complain less and concentrate less on every stressor of my life. I vow to enjoy every moment in time.