Beloveds,
i was 13 years old.
he was a close family member. trusted. welcomed. part of the household. the kind of person no one thinks twice about.
i called him Teacher — not only because teaching was his profession, but also because of what he taught me: that my voice could be silenced. that my body could be invaded. that the people closest to you are sometimes the ones you have to protect yourself from.
one morning i woke up to find him bent over me, attempting to kiss me.
my sister had already left for work. the kids were either sleeping or gone to school. i jumped up. pushed him away. he acted like nothing happened.
i ran to the bathroom. i locked the door. and that's where the memory stops.
i don't remember when he left. i don't remember if i went to school that day. i don't remember coming out of that bathroom. it's as if that 13-year-old girl was still locked inside — for over two decades.
the only time i "spoke" about it was when i wrote it in my diary. my mother found it. she read it. she never said a word to me about it. she just told me to pack my things. i was moving back home.
his name was never called. he was never confronted. never held accountable. and so he kept invading. too-long hugs i couldn't refuse. comments that made my skin crawl. a body that knew it had never been stopped the first time.
years later, i called him. i needed him to hear what he'd done. i needed an acknowledgment. an apology. i got none of that.
instead, he tried to shame me. used my own choices against me. tried to silence me again — the same way he had when i was 13.
it didn't work.
what he didn't understand was this: i wasn't that girl anymore. i had my voice back. and he couldn't take it from me again.
the full story — the bathroom, the confrontation, the Hurricane Melissa meditation where finally sat with that 13-year-old girl and brought her home — is in Book 1: The Bathroom Door.
it's the book that started everything.
or if this is the post that makes you want to read all of it — the full collection is available as a bundle - Speak, Mamacita: Seven Stories of Unsilencing Trauma.
A portion of proceeds from the Speak, Mamacita series supports The Sanctuary Foundation, launching November 2027.
next week: 🚕 The Initiator — the one who stole what wasn't his to take.
Talk Soon,
Santana Chevel 🌹