I had the ridiculous idea of running 50mile for my 50th birthday. Not my first ridiculous idea, or my last...
Following a recent series of unfortunate events, some of which have probably impacted on all of us at some point in our lives, I sensibly managed the idea to a 50k hike.
After everything which was going on in my life, I didn't want to set myself up for failure. It would still be "50 for 50". An apt title for a personal life challenge.
Training was never going to be constructive, or relevant to the task ahead, and as usual I pretty much just winged it. Afterall I have ran 50k, twice, in the past!. What's the worst can happen!.
I decided the route would be that of a 50k event that I had entered to do once, but a lack of self confidence, self esteem, coupled with my escalating anxiety resulted in my not participating in it, yet ironically then, I was in a better physical shape then than what I was currently now in.
I arranged to do it with friends, which turned out to be just the three of us, myself, S and D, who would hike at my pace, to help me achieve my at the time life challenge. Which was to just finish a 50k distance.
I tweaked the route and hiked a few recces of the parts that I didn't know, and the rest, I would just navigate, using what I did know as a crutch.
I arranged accommodation at the Grassington Bunk Barn (which I highly recommend) where we would stay the night before, for an early, no drive start, and again for the night that we finished, to relax before our return home.
The day arrived and we were blessed with spectacularly pleasant weather. We packed supplies and headed off into the morning on the day of our, to become a very long and testing, hike.
We hiked out of Grassington, across Threshfield and Boss moors, skirting the stunning Winterburn Reservoir, and across more golden moorland to Weets Top, with a photo taken at the trig. A pleasant hike, and so far so good.
We then headed to Malham Tarn and marvelled at its splendour. Here I had the option of a 'get out' route (Hill and Moorland Leader training), but we felt good, and I was encouraged by S to do my challenge of 50k, S confirmed that "it didn't matter how long it would take", so we continued our way, taking Monks Road down and into Arncliffe.
Myself and S checked the map together, ensuring we were on route, while D dismissed the need for maps. D couldn't read a map, but declined our offer at learning while out, saying there was no need for a map here.
At Arncliffe we stopped at The Falcon Inn, to use the toilet, drink tea and to refill our bottles with water before continuing on our way.
After refuelling and refilling we hiked along side the River Skirfare, as military planes flew very low above our heads, and I began singing 'playing with the boys' (top gun) in an attempt to reduce the friction, as we hiked toward Litton
I was becoming more stressed about my ability, capability, and the upcoming hill at mile 20, especially as D became more disengaged, hiking at own very quick and capable pace, always ahead, and waiting at gates for myself to 'catch-up'.
I'll interject here about increasingly doubting my own ability, and the pressure that I began to feel under to move faster in order to keep up with D, who was suddenly very quick moving, dismissive of maps, voicing doubts about my unstable ankles' durability, my pace and it seemed most importantly, the pups closing time.
The hill at mile 20 did present a very to myself a challenge, and I'll be forever grateful to S who stayed with me and counted; 5 steps, now rest, five steps, now rest, five steps, now rest, for almost 40 minutes until I had climbed the 915ft and reached the summit.
Once at the top I could have cried with relief, and we did the right and only thing, we went off and bagged the trig point!
We then made our way down the other side, opting to not go into Buckden, in order to make up some time and we continued along the Dales Way, which ran alongside the River Wharfe and into Kettlewell.
I was becoming tired, my feet were sore and I slowed down considerably. A friendship became more fractured with arguments and bickering.
It seemed that D had lost sight of what we had initially set out to achieve, to complete a 50k, to push ourselves, to keep going, and realising it was now going to be a later than planned finish, most probably without a pub meal and beer.
I felt an inconvenience, a burden, on my own bloody challenge*.
I suggested that D go on ahead, as was moving much quicker than I was, to ensure that they got a meal and beer. The Dales Way was quite easy to follow. However D opted to continue with me, but it felt begrudging. Perhaps because D couldn't read a map...
We reached Kettlewell and it was beginning to get much darker now. Phones were dying or already dead (an important note to not rely on technology). We were tired and couldn't find the Dales Way footpath to continue our planned way. So I made the call to hike the remainder along the road into Grassington, for safety (hill and moorland leader training).
For whatever reason this seemed to displease D further, who didn't seem to agree, even though we had no phone, it was dark, we were tired and I knew from experience that that part of the Way wouldn't an easy follow in the dark. Then D again pointed out that it would now be too late to order food anywhere.
I had very little morale left at this point and I just wanted it to end.
We continued along the road, safely and directly toward Grassington, as D disappeared further into the night ahead of us. I chatted with S. I offloaded. I was upset by the disengagement of one of our party. She listened and reassured me.
Then, we heard a loud Bang! and the next thing the whole of Grassington was in darkness. No electricity. No brew, no toast, no shower. Nothing.
We reached 50k in Threshfield and called party member D back to join myself and S in the celebratory 50k selfie, then continued on, once again separated...
We called at a pub, to buy cake to eat back at the barn (as we now discovered that Grassington haf no electricity following the bang) and trudged up the steep hill in darkness, our torches had also now died.
On arriving party member D left to their nearby home. A tense end to a day that should have been a celebration of an achievement. Three women hiking 50k, supported only by each other.
*It was a personal challenge. This was always at the helm. A post pandemic/ lockdown, work stress challenge. A perimenopause with a reoccurring injury, being supported by some of the strongest women I knew, challenge.
Reflection. I underestimated the route, my ability, it took a long time to hike it, but we knew what we were getting into... 3 others said no to joining. I'm glad I did it, just sorry it caused friction. Guess you learn who your real friends are!