Did you know it takes 21 days to form a habit?
So, theoretically, I should be in the habit of doing mindful exercises during the week by now, right?
Wrong.
And wrong.
Here’s the thing:
The “21 days” idea came from a 1960s plastic surgeon who noticed his patients took about three weeks to adjust to their new faces.
That was about healing, not habits.
But the self-help world grabbed it and ran.
Real habits?
They form at wildly different speeds — anywhere from 18 to 254 days depending on the habit, the person, the environment, and, yes, your neurodivergence.
If you’re ND, many “habits” will always need supports, reminders, structure, novelty, or dopamine.
Some take weeks.
Some take months.
Some never become automatic.
I’m thinking maybe my mindfulness practice falls in this category.
Well… the forced exercises at least.
Which brings me to this week.
In the spirit of honesty, I did not remember to pick a mindfulness exercise.
Well, I remembered — but always at the wrong time.
So I never intentionally practiced mindfulness this week.
But just because I am forgetful and late (this was supposed to be posted Friday), I am a woman of my word, and I’m writing this post anyway.
Oh.
Shit.
I just remembered — I did sit and do a mindfulness exercise intentionally this week.
It just wasn’t one of the forced ones.
It’s exactly like I said in week 2:
mindfulness has a way of finding you exactly when you need it most
Thursday we had a Thanksgiving Day concert at our school.
I dread it every year.
We have a giant 3-story atrium and the acoustics are… lacking.
It’s professional string players playing music I could easily snooze to, and the sound in that atrium is overwhelming for my poor ears.
We squeeze 550 students and 50-ish adults in that space.
I was extra sensitive to noise on this particular day because my hormones like to amplify my ADHD sensitivities.
As I was walking around the 3rd floor, I passed our zen garden and admired it — remembering it’s one of my favorite places in the school even though I never get to spend time there.
I was feeling overwhelmed, so I decided to sit next to the garden and focus on the sound of the fountain instead of the sounds that were overwhelming me.
Earlier in the day I had remembered I still hadn’t chosen a mindfulness exercise and reread the list I made.
Mindful Listening was on that list — and it must have slipped into my mind when I was admiring the fountain.
I, of course, added some deep breathing as I focused on the gentle sound of the trickling water. As I started to feel calmer, I was able to notice the other sounds around me without judgment or overwhelm.
I still got the hell out of there as soon as I could, though.
It hit me as I left:
Why am I still trying to force something that keeps finding me on its own?
The past three weeks have shown me exactly how mindfulness works for my brain—
it arrives unannounced, right when I need grounding the most.
So next week, I’m doing it differently.
On Monday I’ll revisit my list, just to remind myself of the possibilities…
to plant the seeds.
And then I’m trusting that the right practice will bloom exactly when I need it.
If you want to sponsor my morning mindful coffee ritual, I won’t say no.