I've been hearing “let me know if I can help you in any way at all” a LOT the last few weeks. While much appreciated, I didn't really know what to say…but now I have a clear picture, and friends, family, strangers – I really need your help.
If anyone thinks my father passing means I got some sort of inheritance or assets, you are sorely mistaken…in fact, my dad left this realm owing me money, but that's completely okay. He left me with a gift that money can't buy.
I have a more in-depth rundown of my series of unfortunate events below, but here's a TLDR of the last 18 months and why I need support now more than ever in my life:
Appendectomy -> hole in my stomach for 6 months due to surgery complications -> anaphylaxis from bee sting + 3 weeks horrific steroid treatment -> Bonne’s health issues -> relationship chaos -> breakdown from stress -> more trauma & relationships disintegrating -> relationship officially implodes -> autoimmune disorder renders my usual work near-impossible -> dad dies -> money & wages lost from trip to clean his place -> Bonnie’s health deteriorating further -> car gets totaled, have to buy a new one -> another trip aka more money & time lost to finish dad’s stuff
Yeah, it's been a ride…not like a fun one but one where you're holding onto the handlebars screaming, “something’s gotta give eventually, right? RIGHT?!?!” Not to mention, this is only what I'm willing to share publicly at the moment; in reality things have been much worse.
I’ve always been self-reliant to a fault, to the point that the word “help” makes my skin crawl, so this is a really weird and uncomfortable post for me to make. But, letting people in is something I’m working on, and I need the support & community at this time so I'm giving it a shot.
If you read this far, I seriously appreciate you. I'm immensely grateful for any support you are able to share right now, even if it's just a quick like ❤️ I’m not going to turn down donations at a time of desperation like this, but I am also looking to set myself up for the long haul, which is why sharing and spreading the word is also the best way you can support me right now.
.Dive Deeper:
Last January started out amazing with a relationship I genuinely thought was the best thing that had ever happened to me…the following 18 months have morphed into an absolute hell. Started with an appendectomy that had surgical complications and took ~6 months to heal a hole in my stomach, then anaphylaxis from a bee sting, then Bonnie’s health deteriorating, then relationship chaos, then a breakdown from all the stress. And each time another unfortunate event happened, it wasn’t a swift recovery by any means. As a result, as much as I’m embarrassed to admit it – I racked up debt for the first time ever in my life because I had no choice. I literally had to in order to keep my power on.
This year there has somehow been more trauma, drama and pain than last. Right as I felt like I was getting back to stability, my relationship officially imploded, and I got slammed with a sudden onset of debilitating symptoms from an autoimmune disorder [don’t know which one yet, awaiting my rheum referral in Santa Rosa]. My job as a house cleaner has become almost impossible for me to keep up, as any extended periods of physical activity make my symptoms awful. I can’t pull two clients in a day anymore, and even after one shift, I’m so zonked I go home and I immediately crash. It’s not a fulfilling life to live, nor is it financially feasible.
Through all this, the biggest thing I was looking forward to was moving my dad over here to live with me in September. Not only would it give him access to better medical care, it would help me to finally be able to get away from living with my ex, and it would give me all the quality time I’d hope for with my dad. It was going to be temporary until his waitlist time for housing here was up, but I was going to become his caregiver and continue taking care of him. I’d been constantly daydreaming of all the awesome places I was going to take him to take photos; looking forward to being able to rest easy at night knowing he was okay and taken care of. And then he died.
It’s still kinda hard to believe that it’s real. I didn’t have a Plan B because I didn’t EVER anticipate this happening, even as a person who has a history of entertaining every anxious scenario. This outcome never crossed my mind even once. I have already spent hundreds on travel and lost much more due to time off work to take care of things, and I still have to do my final trip out there, which is going to be equally as financially draining. Sprinkle on the fact that my car just got totaled and I have a big move on the horizon, I’m…well, pretty scared right now, to be frank.
These are the parts I’m willing to share with the world right now, but I can count on one hand how many people know what I’ve truly gone through over the last few years, especially the last. I will share the rest when the time is right. I don’t know where I’m going from here; I know where I’d like to, but I can’t do it without support. Since 2020, every single time I have felt like I am in a good place, something comes along and completely rocks my world again. It’s too much, and honestly – I’m tired. Like, really tired.
So where do you come in? Help me grow my businesses – put me to work doing things that don’t completely break my body!
Here is the full list of services I can offer:
⭐️Content Creation⭐️
-Logos, banners, business cards, flyers, and more!
-Bundle with a personalized photo shoot
-Video filming & editing
-Video compilation of your special event
💫Flow, Fire & Dance💫
Fire and/or LED show - parties, birthdays, weddings, etc!
Private flow lessons: poi, fans, dragon staff, leviwand, hoop
Fire dance & fire safety lessons
Choreography creation [send a song/concept and let me do the brainwork of turning it into a show-ready piece]
Fire prop re-wicking (various wick widths available)
Custom prop creation
📷Photography📷
People portrait shoots
Pet portrait shoots with editing add-ons
✨️Other Services✨️
Pet sitting [includes free video compilation of your pets!]
House sitting
Upcoming yard & plant sales
Future fundraising events
I usually fight my battles in isolation. But there comes a point where that isn’t feasible anymore, and that’s what you’re seeing in action right now.