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The Small, The Big, and Then What Actual ...

The Small, The Big, and Then What Actually matters

Jun 15, 2023

This morning during my morning chores, I had this moment of just…reminiscing. Just a moment where I realized how far I’ve come from all the many things that felt so…heavy but were actually so unimportant. Thinking of all the things that I took for granted that I never thought I would loose…at least not so soon. I started YouTube after taking one last fall in my very last dance performance…I started because I had to do something to help me feel…somewhat busy. At the time, I was just recovered enough to get out of my wheelchair in the house and only use it in town, but was still limited to less than 100 steps due to the pain it caused to move. YouTube has given me so much more than I ever thought it could ever give me. Its given me hope, knowledge, friends, passion, talents, and professional experience! Many don’t know that I have a genetic condition that I was born with…however, it disguises itself so well. That is, until age and activity shined some light on some…not so normal problems that no other “healthy” teenager was dealing with. YouTube helped me find answers! My condition is very under diagnosed and doctors are very undereducated on Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and it’s many complications. If it wasn’t for YouTube, I’d still be directionless, with the thought I may be dying of some unknown condition, with no hope of any kind of semi-predictable future!

Having a resource like BuyMeACoffee to allow friends, fans, viewers and even fellow chronic illness sufferers who can relate with the financial strain, stress, panic and anxiety that comes about when your health is so unpredictable and complicated has really changed the way I see the world. Growing up in a difficult situation being homeless through jr high and Highschool with my disabled mother , it was really difficult to see the world as anything but just an obstacle filled with people that were simply here to make it all that much harder. As I’ve gotten older, things have not gotten much simpler, mostly just different, however, seeing the good in people and the love that is still ever-present in the world has made life just a bit more enjoyable.

It's funny how something so small can feel so big in the end! Thank you for allowing me a safe place to be vulnerable and honest! I love you all more than you could ever know and thank you all so much for what you have helped my life become! #BMCstories

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