Suddenly I live with a state sponsored religion which seems terrified by a Christian left or other religions. For those of us not so organized as a religion, we are unable to speak on behalf of anyone but the individual belief system. Unorganized and individualistic might seem odd but isn’t necessarily bad. Here is my personal belief system. Forgive me but metaphors will be mixed.
There was a big bang or a little poof and life existed somehow. Since that first breath of life, all life is interconnected-all of it, and all that was and is and ever will be. We are a stream or a river of time and the sound of the stream is the rhythm of all life cycles. Our rhythms sound differently with some than with others and the sound of life becomes family, friends, strong connections -some sounds are perhaps more isolated at different times, the lone beat in the background. We ebb and flow along within the sounds of this stream until we decide to change the sound by pushing against the stream a little, not doing the expected, spinning a bit, playing off beat, on the opposite note. Most of us have done that at least one time. When we do, the stream’s rhythm-even our individual rhythm changes. Everything shifts. The stream has a direction. Your direction is part of decisions others have made and whatever the big or small thing you do might force a different rhythm of the stream. The butterfly in Thailand makes my choice to go with the flow 20 years ago good or bad because all of us and the past and future and present impact each other. We are a beautiful stream of destiny and free will and impact and causality and randomness with notes of melody and discordance mixed with the rhythm. We are interwoven and interconnected and our life cycles end and we live on in the stream as we are part of the past of the stream and decisions made by others can still vibrate our specific life force with an impact or causality, a fade of sound, an echo. When I deeply meditate, in rare moments, I feel a vibration and can sense the energy and sound stream.
While I struggle with practicing my spiritual belief as much as anyone, my belief tells me we are all sacred because we are all interconnected. It is hard to always achieve but best to try and be in harmony with the fragility and strength of the stream, to be aware of our impact on each other, the great impact and bad, to move each step with gentleness and fun and kindness.
If this all sounds new age and crazy, I get it and accept it without offense. I’m not even sure how, at this stage of my life, it is now so fully formed or when it happened. I would rather be connected than put by some single deity into the triple distinct boxes of life, heaven and hell. To have a single entity lift me from the life box and toss me randomly into heaven or hell! Because seriously there are only a few of us who don’t deserve heaven and not a soul that don’t deserve hell. And that ending does mean there is only one ending, the temporal, transitory life box is destroyed and the deity, having judged and consigned, gets bored and moves onto something else. While the stream in my belief continues.
I understand those who say they feel a presence and they believe in destiny. That’s fine with me. I want to believe that the most vital part of that stream is how we are connected - that how we played together and the sound we made are not preordained. Still, i can’t ignore complete randomness and the beauty of it and how it lifts our shared burden of life a little in absolution.
If you've felt a presence of God and you believe in destiny and that the eternal life is of a different shape and that belief system leads you to be a decent human being, then that sounds great for you to me. Going back to the first part of this rambling, spacey riff, do you know who I expect to share my belief in my spiritual belief system? Not a soul but me. It is personal. It belongs to me. It is my right to believe in it. It is yours to believe in yours. If yours is more organized and less individualistic, then that’s cool as well. Because most people who have a defined belief they live by and those who are just forming the own experiential belief system, still arrive at the same basic set of values which we all should live by. Then, someone lays claim to the “right” way to believe. Those who form a rigid belief of exceptionalism and want to force their beliefs on others are acting like decent people. I’m sure that most have a core of decency but this moment and fact of one faith for all equals patriotism is dangerous to all regardless of our faiths. Why would anyone be against my belief system now that I have so clearly explained it?
I hope collectively we change the direction of the stream with gentleness and fun and kindness.