When holding a wet teaspoon,
Prithee, stop and think:
‘Shall I wash and dry the bastard,
Or chuck it in the sink?’
Imagine all your workmates
Gathered at your side;
Fondling their bread knives
As you try to decide.
Picture sixteen Staysharps,
Keen and cold and true,
Dicing you to dog food
And you’ll know what to do.
[First published 23 October 2009.]