[First published 6 July 2010 on MYOB Small business blog.]
When Andrew said his recruitment agency was different, I took it with a shovel of salt.
Having dealt extensively with job consultants as a client, supplier, and candidate, I’d formed the view that in this field:
Confidence / Expertise = Infinity
But when Andrew decided to prove his difference by asking me to optimise his email sign-off, I was pleasantly surprised.
Before
The ‘before’ shot of this sign-off is so boring, it's at the end of this post. Otherwise I’d lose you for sure.
It’s so familiar, you needn't even read it.
Suffice to say it was 188 words of pompous, alienating, boring drivel that Andrew and his staff sent to clients in every email.
During
Andrew wanted to create a point of difference – albeit small – from his competitors.
This was in keeping with my philosophy that ‘every communication builds or erodes your brand’.
I was excited.
After
I gave Andrew’s sign-off The Treatment, which entailed running the copy through dozens of filters.
I sieved out long words, jargon, passive language, legalese, clichés (and much much more).
After a bit of back and forth, this is what we got:
This email (and attachments) is just for you. If it has reached you in error, please tell us and delete it now. It belongs to us, is private and comes under our trade terms. If you or anyone use, reveal or issue it without our consent, we’ll seek payment for loss. We check for viruses, but suggest you do too as we’re not liable for virus damage. Emails aren’t secure: treat ours with respect and we’ll do the same. As Mark Twain said: ‘Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest’.
Better
At 95 words, this was half the length.
It was clearer, and more concise, yet just as comprehensive.
It even had humanity, and humour.
We dug it.
Results
Andrew had long been peeved at how most people think all agencies are the same, when there are salient differences.
He’d found it hard to convince (especially HR) people that agencies can be a legitimate business-building partner.
While we weren’t talking sheep stations, his new sign-off was the first shot in a campaign to differentiate Blyss Personnel from the mob.
It didn’t take long for clients and candidates to notice and comment. Feedback was overwhelmingly positive.
Small mercies
By starting small, we tackled a manageable task while laying the foundations for a friendly-yet-professional corporate style that now pervades every communication Blyss puts out.
I consider this initiative a success (enough to table it here as a case study).
We often hear that in business, ‘little things mean a lot’.
I think they do.
WARNING! Boring bit. Enter at own risk.
Internet email is not a secure communication medium, and we advise that you observe this lack of security when emailing us. Notwithstanding, this email is for the use of the intended recipient(s) only. Any opinion or advice it contains is subject to our terms and conditions of business. If you have received it in error, please notify the sender immediately and then delete the message. If you are not the intended recipient you must not use, disclose, or distribute this email without the author's prior permission. We have taken precautions to minimise the risk of transmitting software viruses, but we advise that you carry out your own virus checks on an attachment to this message. We cannot accept liability for any loss or damage caused by software viruses. The information contained in this e-mail and its attachments is private and confidential and remains the property of Blyss Personnel Pty Ltd. Use of this information by the recipient or third parties for personal or professional gain will result in charges being applied by Blyss Personnel to the value of any loss or damage incurred by Blyss Personnel Pty Ltd.