It's been hot. In temperature at least, and it's making me a little delirious.
I found my new favourite spot in the branches of a tree by the Fontainebleau canal. This living, breathing hideout hides you away in its branches and brings a certain kind of serenity. There is so much beauty here. And although it sometimes gets lonely, we get by with a little help from our friends. ✨
My voice teacher told me I am like a trained pony.
But I should aim to be a wild one.
She was with us for only two weeks, and yet her presence was extraordinary. She enlightened us in every class, said that our voice is the core of our soul. She taught us to breathe, to stand correctly, and with a few minor adjustments our voices were freed and the sounds we made became effortless. She compared speaking to dancing, said you can never tire of it if you use your voice correctly. She showed us how voice can summon emotions, explained it so graciously it felt like medicine. And even though it brought up anxiety and vulnerability, according to her that is exactly where an actor should be. Beautifully open.
She had us sitting in a circle describing our wildest, biggest dreams, speaking as if they had already happened. Manifesting their existence into reality. And whilst there is a lot of repetition in acting, it serves as an anchor, and within it we play. Each day discovering something new. We are never in the same spot more than once.
I feel like my inner child is being released. To think I used to keep silent to avoid the fear of saying something stupid or sounding strange. But this strangeness is the key to authenticity and personal truth. So speak up! Those who want to listen will hear, and those who don't can descend into beautiful memories that will nourish your journey years later.
I can now shapeshift.🪼
I can make myself laugh or cry with just a small adjustment to my breathing.
I am so aware of my body that I sometimes lose track of conversations because I'm considering whether my shoulders are fully relaxed, or whether I'm distributing equal weight across both seat bones.
A beautifully trained, talented pony with a lovely collection of thoughts running through her mind. And every time I leave my osteotherapist she gives me a worried look at the amount of tension held in my neck and head. "Kill the brain!" (a quote by Tess).
And then the school handed us a new project: Medea. A Greek tragedy, in an adaptation written by Ben Power. We got our cast and I love the part belonging to me.
For those unfamiliar with the story, it follows a princess from Colchis who, after being struck by one of Aphrodite's arrows, falls devastatingly in love with Jason, a hero of the Argonauts. He betrays her, and her sorrow transforms into a delirious storm of rage. As she battles her inner conflicts, deeply tied to her ancestral blood descending from Titans, she sets off to seek revenge and utterly ruin the man she loves more than anything in the world. Medea's actions are devastating, and yet she was also a pawn in the game of the gods, left with little choice but to act as she did. Ultimately, she simply wants back agency over her own life.
The whole cohort is doing extraordinary work. We remain present, attentive, and very much a strong ensemble. We are still searching for the full rollercoaster of emotions tied to Medea as her cruelty can be hard to grasp, but with such intensity of feeling it's important to stay active rather than reflective. As I've been told, reflection rarely works on stage.
On days like these, the heatwave makes me long for open water. Nothing beats good music and dancing, and I've been feeling hungry to get my hands on a DJ mixer. The wild visions keep coming, and alongside them so does the thinking about how to actually execute them. So many ideas.
Additionally I have:
A LITTLE ANNOUNCEMENT⭐️
After some thought, I've decided to move my writing from Buy Me A Coffee directly to Substack. Some posts will remain free and open to everyone, whilst the deeper work such as poetry, written plays, monologue collections, and deep dive into my craft, will live in the paid space, along with a more direct line to me for those who want it. Everything that was here will find its way to Substack, it's just moving somewhere it can breathe a little more. If you've been following my journey from the beginning, thank you. Truly. Your support means the world and is helping me be more confident in my writing. The link to my Substack can be found at the bottom of this entry.
There is but a month of classes left, then it's time to travel again. And to all those heading their separate ways, may we meet again, however the tides turn. A doorstep away, a mountain across, a flight afar, a window open. We will soon stand on the horizon, where the sun meets the sea and the hours are reversed from those far away. I wish for our dreams to come true, for eternal bliss to strike us, for warmth and rest in the embrace of fellow companions.
Everything is temporary. And yet somehow, it always leaves something behind.
Patricija ✨
SUBSTACK LINK: https://substack.com/@pa3ques
