Anyone who knows art, knows it is literally the most unpredicatabile way to put food on a table, AND YET, with enough drive, madness and obsession, we persevere despite the odds. The odds turned nasty last year.

For those of you who know me, you know that I am living with Long Covid, Fibromyalgia and other chronic conditions including PTSD and severe depression, which have reduced subsitance to relying on a small disability grant. In addition to this, I was diagnosed with Autism last year, and my spinal condition has worsened to the point where I face surgery or complete loss of mobility and nerve damage.

Literally what else could go wrong?

My living situation has become untenable. As of Feb 2025, I will no longer have a home or a place to create, and I don't know where to turn.

I am reopening this page in the hope someone sees it, little lighthouse that it is, and is able to assist.

More than anything I want the same thing I did when I started this page. To get well again. to do my job, make art, engage with people, walk, do cartwheels and feel sand between my toes. I want to live.

The costs associated with a) medical needs and b) losing my home, are overwhelming, I find myself in a challenging situation, unable to bear the financial burden alone.

As I am currently not able to earn a living, and many of the (not inexpensive) medical treatments I need are not covered by medical insurance. My family cannot and will not assist, since my autism diagnosis. I am reaching out for any assistance you can offer.

OTHER OPTIONS....

I do have an Etsy store, where I sell prints or you can direct order by mailing me. Prints are made available by request, so if there's a work you like, let me know and I will make it available for you personally xx

I also sell all my artworks as originals, and have many works available for sale. You can see most of them on my website or on my social media accounts...just pop me a message if you are interested @ [email protected].

NOTES FROM THE EARLIER DAYS OF THIS PAGE...

2022: THE LONG STORY...

What follows is is brief account of why I first started this page and why things are as they are ....

MY BACKSTORY

I am a disabled South African artist and communications and graphic design professional. I initially created this page to raise funds to self-publish my first book of art and poetry and send an artwork to the Art Connects Women exhibit in Dubai in March 2023. Thanks to your generosity, we succeeded in both endeavours ❤️❤️❤️

THE STORY BEHIND THE BACKSTORY (2023)

I contracted Covid for the second time in Feb 2022. By July, I could hardly walk due to a spinal condition which had been worsening since 2021. I suffer from severe depression, for which I have been treated since I was 18 which steadily worsened over the course of last year, accompanied by CPTSD retriggered by a traumatic and abusive relationship which I escaped in 2022.

My psychologist and psychiatrist urged me to apply for temporary disability…. they could see what was coming. By October, I could no longer do my job due to the depression, anxiety, brain fog and fatigue. I was in persistent pain, suffering severe agoraphobia and in a confused state of constant fight-or flight, struggling to sleep, care for myself or even begin to know where to find help. The only thing I had was art, which became harder and harder to make.

By February 2023 I had no choice but to move in with my parents, I got very sick. The brain fog was back, and I was nauseous and aching 24/7. I began to listen to my body, and I KNEW something wasn’t right – and now I had the courage to persevere in finding answers.

After many false starts, incorrect diagnoses, and a sprinkling of medical gaslighting, my psychiatrist and some good friends who are suffering from chronic illness and Long Covid, pointed me in the right direction.

SOME PROGRESS....

I am beyond grateful that I now have a good team of doctors and specialists on my side and a rainbow Smartie-box of medication to take daily. Everything I do has to be carefully planned and balanced against limited energy reserves. I have 2-4 medical appointments a week and strict instructions about diet, movement, pacing, routine, and goals.

My diagnosis so far is this: Treatment-resistant Depression, CPTSD, Long Covid (or Post-Covid Syndrome), Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis.

I have been too ill to work or create art, aside from one or two small pieces this year, and I miss it terribly. I miss my work, my colleagues, my friends, I miss art, and I miss how easy life used to seem. I miss predictability and being able to make plans. I miss being me.

Most days I live in a world of brain-fog and body ache, where there’s no predicting whether I will be able to function tomorrow, where making plans is a thing of the past. One in every 5 or 10 days is a GOOD day…. good days give me hope and keep me going ❤️

AND NOW....

Worst case scenario - without support, I literally don't know what will happen or where I stand. All I can say with gratitude is that I have a roof over my head. Medical treatment and financial commitments will be off the table.

SO...

I am closing my eyes and reaching out to anyone who may be able to help in any way, to simply and honestly appeal for support to help me cover my medical costs, and access the medical interventions that will help in my journey towards healing and regaining my functionality. In addition I am trying to save some money in case the worst happens and I am left with no income whatsoever.

To all of you have already given so open-heartedly, PLEASE don’t feel obliged to donate any further – you have been too generous already. IF, and only if, you feel comfortable doing so, please consider sharing this page with your networks ❤️. The link is: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/nikimcqueen

My sincere thanks to you for taking the time to read this.

I miss you all, and come hell or high water, I will beat this thing and come back stronger than ever.

With best wishes, love, and heartfelt gratitude,

Niki McQueen

2023