A few weeks ago, I had to go to my annual doctor’s checkup. I was avoiding it. For a large chunk of my adult life I didn’t have proper health insurance and I wasn’t concerned about it. I was for the most part of the mindset, I feel healthy therefore I am healthy. Yet somewhere lingering in the back of my mind was the fear of the big C. I’ve had two family members pass away from it and it seems like I hear about someone being diagnosed with it every other day. And these are fairly healthy people. Not people like me who are at least 80 lbs overweight.
Another health fear of mine is diabetes. It doesn’t run in my family, but I love my desserts and I know that if I get too carried away with my sugar intake diabetes could be in my future.
Last year I was on it with my health — exercising, intermittent fasting, low carb, down 40+ lbs. I was feeling great and so my fear of being diagnosed with something was still there but lower. This year however I have struggled with my weight loss quite a bit and ended up gaining all the weight back and then some. I was pushing back the doctor’s visit until I lost at least half of the weight I gained back. I hated the idea of stepping on the scale of the doctor’s office and seeing all that weight gain in my face. I especially was trying to avoid a potential “you need to lose weight” lecture.
But my plan to wait until I lost some weight was interrupted. I got a job. Wonderful great… except whenever you’re working in a setting with children there’s always a ridiculous amount of paperwork that needs to be filled out including a medical form. So alas I could no longer avoid the doctor.
I went and we did the whole song and dance — blood pressure, weight, lungs, bloodwork, and urine. And a few days later I found out pretty much everything came back normal. I didn’t even get the lecture I was so concerned about.
So I’m genuinely grateful for my health. It was an incredible feeling to log into my medical portal and see almost everything on my chart was in range. Despite the extra pounds, I’m blessed with good health.
I want to keep it that way so begins another weight loss journey. To be fair Saturday my cousin and I will be celebrating our birthdays together and so on Sunday 11/7/21 I restart my quest to finally lose this weight.
Originally published on Medium https://medium.com/positively-healthy-vibes/the-fear-of-not-knowing-what-the-doctor-will-say-39c42a941d91