I've been an avid fans of Thai Boys Love drama for about two years, all started with the Milk Tea Alliance. I was introduced to 2Gether, by Bright Vachirawit and Win Metawin, a light hearted BL drama featured in GMMTV, one of the largest media company in Thailand.
I have been in this fandom for a little while and have learnt a lot about this fandom in a very short period of time. I am no expert but I often share, or probably over share, information about the fandom with others online and have been doing a bit of subtitling.
As much as I am still an avid fans of Thai BL, My anger and frustration have started to grow. I couldn't understand why I am so bothered by this complex feeling of disgust, even though they have done nothing at all go deserve it.
Many international Thai BL fans often attack each other online and they also talk about how if people have issues with the actor or fandom, it is an issue with our internal thoughts, a reflection of ourselves. Of course they way they use it to attack each other doesn't come across as beautiful as such.
I have been thinking very hard in the last little while. Why am I so disgusted. Why do I feel so awful about things they are doing, which really are fans service of that culture and it is very normal.
Recently there was an interview with Jennifer Lawrence where she talked about the trauma of her nude photo leak will stay with her forever.
That got made me think. Many years ago, I've been subjected to "revenge nudes", someone have sent an image to the media. I don't know who else has a copy of it, and what will do they about it. Are they being passed around?
Suddenly I had a lightbulb moment, this is what made me anxious and frustrated. I have been uncomfottable with the decual objectification of the male BL actors. I feel that this is a very thin line between sexual objectification and pure fantasy. Highlighting them only as body parts (E.g. their nibbles, lips, chest) and. Of ad a human. What bothered me was that the images are often shared professionally by the management or the artists themselves.
As the fans said, it reflects your inner believes. Yes it has. It has reflected my inner trauma, my fear of my life photos going out to random strangers. Their semi nude photos triggered mg anxiety, my trauma.
I know these are all signs that I will slowly step away from much of this obsession I currently have.
There are many more reasons why I think I will be withdrawing from the Thai BL Fandom soon. Let's talk more!