-The Two Shrewd Dudes are Snolly and Goster.
Snolly: How many pretription meds do you take Goster?
Goster: Too many.
Snolly: Two?
Goster: Oh no no no, Ever so many more.
Snolly: Well, how many?
Goster: 2,256,578,346,598.
Snolly: That's prescriposterous!!
Goster: I know that. I asked the mediculous doctor but he said he didn't do that. He prebribed me only 9 medicalibations. Metropolisolol, Afoxikillin, Amloadedpine, Ibepuken, Plafixit, Prozap, Flonass, Viagravate, and Lygersick acid die-aunt-Ethel-of-mine, LSD. But he was a nice doctor and also prebribed me Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
Snolly: Much better. I am taking Lisinophetaminisonevastatinsulfamethiclovir in a base of Zantacvaltrexolicacidderallebrex R.U.O.K. And Viagravate.
Goster: I already knew that and I don't want to hear anybore amout it.
(They spread out all their pills on the table.)
A Vitamin D pill speaks sternly: Good morning Goster. Take me please. Let's not die today.
Goster: Holy pillpopper, a talking pill. Are you for my hurtbean? blood pleasure? liver fucktion?
Viamin D: I am for your cornordinary fartery dizzysease. Take me please now.
Goster: Ok , I will take you with this not so teenie martini.
White Tylenill pill: I am for your pain in the ass, inflamousation, and fevarmint.
Snolly: You should take that one with a glass of Vodhooka.
Pink Paxkil: I am for your depressbuttons and anxsociety.
Blue Viagra: Mr. Snolly. Take me. I am for your erectool dysfucktion.
Snolly: Hey dude! I see on the bottle it says, “Do not operate machinery,” It should say for us boozers, “Do not operate anything!!"
Goster: Doc says, “No weed or psychoderilicts with these.” But I say, "Weed is the real medicine. Besides, the pills are probably full of chemicals anyway."
Snolly: It says "take with food" on some labels. My food is a large expresso martini.
Goster: I studded medindications in collage. Medindications are sometimes tabslettuce, corpsules, liqsquids, screams or patches. They can be adsinistered in different ways, omorally, by confusion into a vein, or by dropping of acid in the ear or eye. Also can be used urogenitally gently mentally dentally accidentally fundamentally incidentally and experimentally.
An Albeautifulerol spray bottle speaks: Hey dude, take a wiff of me. You'll blast off to the moon.
Goster: Yikes! You are a speageeking bottle! Ok. Snolly, come here. We are going to the moon.
(They both take a giant drag on the Albeautifulerol spray.)
Snolly ( higher than a kite ): Now look at what you've did done do daloo da done. We are moonmen. All I see is crateria dust and the earth is the moon now.
Goster: Wow man. This is better than any of those mediculous medindications.
( The Albeautifulerol wears off. )
Snolly: Holy moonwalkinbabies! That was far out. Glad we are back as earthdings. We better get one of those pill orgasmnizer boxes. It will keep us from blastin' off again. Speageeking of blastin' off, gimme a hit of that mediculous Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss. Now let's each orgasmnize our pill boxes.
Goster: Yes, let me see....
For Sinday: Metropolisolol, Afoxikillin, Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
For Mundaneday: Amloadedpine, Ibepuken, Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
For Bluesday: Plafixit, Prozap, Flonass, Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
For Weednesday: Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
For Thirstday: Lygersick acid die-aunt-Ethel-of-mine, Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
For Friedday: Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss, Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
For Sathurtinday: Lygersick acid die-aunt-Ethel-of-mine, Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
And for every day: Viagravate.
Snolly (orgasmnizing):
For Sinday: Lisinophetaminisonevastatinsulfamethiclovir/Zantacvaltrexolicacidderallebrex.
For Mundaneday: Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
For Bluesday: Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
For Weednesday: Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
For Thirstday: Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
For Friedday: Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss, Maridoyoujuana Cannabliss.
For Sathurtinday: Cannabliss.
And for every day: Viagravate.
Goster: Do you know what Phamacokinetics is Snolly? It's not one of KoRnRicHs' crazy phrazies. It's the drug’s journey through the body. You absorbit the drug then it goes trippin' in the bloodscream then the drug cracks up then you piss it out. 
All the pills holler joyousfulappily: Yeah man oh man oh man we love that trip. Far out!
(The pills leap dancingly wild out of their orgasmnizer boxes expandexing, singaling , screamating, liquiflying, splattiling, engulfassing, singaling louder, surroundenveloping overdozing the two shrewd dudes.)
Goster and Snolly ( frightenspookeenly ): Yikesees! Help! Doctor please, no more of these. Gimme weeds to appease these heebie jeebies. The disease will ease with weed and cheese brownies I am promeased from my trustees: Aristotles, Ulysees, Haides, Euripedes, Archimedes, Anneliese and the headcheese.
(It's too late. The two shrewd dudes are over takenen by the drug overdoze.)
Moronal of the story: REEFERS NOT RELIEVERS.
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