Refreshing a past self reading. I can't fully remember my original interpretations, but I always enjoy looking back at my readings, to see how much I've learned since I did it. I almost forgot who this was about, but when I got to the 4 of Cups, I instantly remembered who it was about. At least have that thought of who this was about.
Context: it was an ex that always popped up in November, even when I set the boundary to either be just friends or to stop talking to me. He choose to stop talking with me, but always manged to once a year when November comes up.
Why is this person coming (back) into my life?
Hermit: Introspection
Magician: concentration or manifestation
Knight Swords: Force or bravery
Since I can't remember the original interpretation, I guess he only came back, to be able to message me without distractions. He has been trying to be more mature, but that was like 10 years after we broke up, and it took him about 8 years to give a proper apology, just to say. The next cards may help a bit of my distrust that I developed with this ex.
What is his intentions?
King Cups: Emotional control, tactful
This was uneasy to interpret, but this ex isn't entirely happy I was able to get away from his behavoir. It was difficult, as we were teenagers when I we met, and how we broke up when I was 18. It wasn't until I was around 21, when I was able to get out of the situation with him. I was able to see more clearly to understand the outside perspective of being around him. It wasn't really good, so it was difficult to trust him after being able to see and understand a bit more better. I can forgive my younger self for being unable to see before, but yeah. It's complex to explain it all, just to say.
Should I trust this him (again)?
4 Cups: boredom, rumination
A lot of inner worry with the past history between us. From 2013-Present (still). I have been dealing with a lot of online stalking, since 2008 with him, and everyone he hangs out with. He has a group that checkout my social media accounts. He has mentioned that I have too much, and I only have a lot to keep it down to a minimum with him and his posse. Quite a bit of cyberbullying with this ex, too. His younger sisters also just bond with him and everyone else he has on his "side" and just okay. At least I got myself out of that, cause wow. It's going onto 18 years of this, and just, get a life? With this particular ex, he does get bored a lot, from what I can remember about him. He liked how my family just gets up and go for a random drive, to anywhere when we have money for gas. Want a coffee at 3am? Let's go to one location that's far, but also open at that time, too. Let's go cross the Canadian-USA border and get a coffee or shop at Costco there instead. Other than that, it's just uneasy to deal with him.
Will the friendship/relationship with him be beneficial?
Death: Endings, new beginnings
I remember this card helped me decide with ending his attempts. Like the start of this thought. It took way longer to finally just block him and everyone else involved. I was pregnant at the time, so that was my new beginnings.
Overall advice about this situation?
9 of Coins/Pentacles: independence, plenty
I mistook the Roman Numeral as X/10 instead of IX/9, when I found this photo and spread earlier this week, just to say. So, I did take independence and focused more on what was already present in life when I first did this self reading. I thought for myself instead of engaging with his attempt to talk with me again.
When I found this self reading in my albums. Since Amino shutdown, I have decided to try and work on being more self disciplined and consistent with my Tarot Journaling, cause I didn't think amino would shutdown at the time. Lesson learned, keep self readings somewhere else, just in case 🤣👌🏼
