The Emperor’s New Trade Deal (Inspired by Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Emperor’s New Clothes”) 
Once upon a time, in the far-off land of Canada, a new emperor named Mark Carney ascended to the throne of the Liberal Kingdom. A man of polished suits and central banking lore, Carney was no ordinary ruler. Plucked from the ivory towers of Brookfield and the Bank of England, he was heralded as the savior who would unite the land and fend off the fire-breathing dragon from the south, one Donald of Trump. With a cry of “Elbows Up!” Carney promised his subjects a grand tapestry of strength - a trade deal to shield Canada from the dragon’s tariff-fueled flames.
The kingdom buzzed with excitement. Carney, they said, was a master weaver of economic wizardry. He had tamed inflation in distant lands and vowed to drape Canada in a deal so magnificent it would dazzle even the dragon. “No more groveling!” he declared at a rally in Kitchener, promising to sweep away internal trade barriers and stand tall against Trump’s demands. The people of Quebec, keepers of the sacred Dairy Supply Management System, nodded approvingly, clutching their cheese wheels and milk jugs. Surely, their emperor would protect their creamy treasures!
But whispers began to circulate. The dragon, with his golden mane and Truth Social roars, was not impressed. He bellowed that Canada’s digital services tax was a “blatant attack” on his tech giants and that the dairy tariffs - some as high as 400% - were an affront to his farmers. On June 27, 2025, Trump stomped his foot, declaring all trade talks dead unless Carney knelt. The kingdom held its breath. Would their emperor stand firm?
Alas, by June 30, Carney emerged from his council chambers, his elbows noticeably lowered. The digital tax, he announced, was no more - a “necessary thread” in the grand tapestry of negotiation, he claimed. The dragon smirked, and his heralds crowed, “Carney caved!” The people of Quebec, however, were not amused. “What of our dairy?” they cried, sensing their emperor’s tapestry was unraveling.
The court jesters - Blanchet of the Bloc and Bernier of the PPC - took to the town square (or rather, X). “This emperor lies!” Blanchet bellowed, accusing Carney of betraying Quebec’s sacred cows. Bernier jeered that Carney was in the pocket of the dairy cartel, yet too weak to resist Trump’s demands to abolish it.
Carney, undeterred, insisted his tapestry was intact. “Complex negotiations!” he proclaimed, promising a deal by July 21 that would save the kingdom. But the dragon’s shadow loomed large, demanding the dairy system’s demise. The courtiers whispered: would Carney trade Quebec’s milk for peace? His past at Brookfield, where he moved the kingdom’s gold to New York, fueled doubts. Was he #InItForBrookfield, weaving a deal for foreign lords, not Canada?
As the deadline neared, the kingdom saw the truth. Carney’s tapestry was no grand shield but a flimsy cloth of compromises. If he surrendered dairy, Quebec would erupt, their fury shaking the throne. If he stood firm, Trump’s tariffs - 50% on steel, more to come - would ravage the land. Either way, the emperor stood naked, his “elbows up” bravado exposed as bluster.
In the end, the people saw their emperor for what he was: a weaver of promises, not protections, whose fine words hid a spine of silk. And so, the kingdom waited, wondering if their dairy, their pride, would be the next thread pulled from Carney’s crumbling tapestry.
The moral here, is quite simple. Judge a person's honesty and integrity by what they do, because they're showing you who they are. Believe what your eyes tell you. 👀
In this case, Carney has yet to live up to his hyperbolic tough-on-Trump campaign talk. There is no great crisis management, no proactive leadership. Its nothing but flips, flops, capitulation and reactive measures. A recipe for national failure.
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