Coffee Crew! What's the word?
We talking structure? This script is solid. I love what it became and how it changed from the story I thought I was writing. The arc of our protagonist is clear, and will keep you guessing at the same time. Big setup for a big payoff. What’s even better, I left some breadcrumbs for certain characters that’ll get their shine in later episodes. Another bonus I didn’t plan for at the start.
Today I did a dialogue pass, which might be my favorite part of the process. Sitting with what the characters say and making sure it’s how they would say it allows the story to really separate itself from one that any character could just be dropped into. There’s so many ways to say one thing. The why behind the words they choose, or leave out, is what helps craft character. Dialogue is my thing. I love what can be said, what they say compared to what they actually mean but don’t want to say, and what can be said without words.
Here's an example. The character who acts as the mentor had this line about halfway through the script:
Homemade, fresh. Toast it some, it’ll be like it was just made.
It's a good line, I still like it. It just wasn't specific enough to the character, almost like anybody could have said it. Not every character would mean the same thing, though. Getting to the core is always the goal, so I had to work that line until it felt like only that character would say it in that specific way.
The idea of three guys on a journey is nothing new. Especially through the Old West. It’s where they’re headed, how they get there, how they change, and what they’re left with at the end that offers something new.
I don't want to write a good story. I’m after a story that's magnetic. This draft needs just a little more love, and we have the time to make that happen.
Until then, I’ll catch you at the movies. ✌🏾