Inspired by an idea suggested by my reader, Max 🇲🇫 ❤️
What if you discovered that your life was a simulation and that you could access hidden settings controlling your personality, memories, emotions, and future? Imagine waking up one morning and finding a menu that allowed you to change almost anything about yourself, from your deepest fears to the way you experience happiness. Would you immediately start changing everything you dislike, or would you stop for a moment and wonder whether those imperfections are part of what makes you who you are?
My reader Max suggested an idea that made me think about this possibility, and the more I considered it, the more I realized that the most interesting part wasn’t whether our reality could be a simulation, but what our choices would reveal about us if we suddenly had complete control over our lives.
Here are the 15 settings I would consider changing, along with a few things I would probably leave alone.
1. My Fear of Failure
If I could change one thing about myself, I would reduce the fear that sometimes stops me from trying something new, especially when the outcome matters to me. Fear can be useful when it protects us from genuine danger, but it becomes a problem when it convinces us to avoid opportunities simply because we might not succeed. I’ve noticed that people sometimes spend more time imagining everything that could go wrong than actually taking the first step toward what they want. I wouldn’t want to remove failure from my life, because making mistakes can teach us things that success never could. I would simply want to stop treating every mistake as proof that I wasn’t good enough.
2. My Ability to Focus
I would increase my ability to concentrate, because it has become surprisingly easy to lose an entire hour switching between notifications, videos, messages, and thoughts that don’t really matter. We often complain that we don’t have enough time, yet some of our most valuable hours disappear without us even noticing where they went. Imagine being able to sit down with a meaningful task and give it your full attention without constantly feeling the urge to check your phone. I don’t think the goal should be to become productive every second of the day, because rest and doing nothing also have value. I would simply want more control over where my attention goes, rather than allowing every distraction to make that decision for me.
3. My Confidence
I would make it easier to trust my own decisions without needing constant reassurance from other people, especially when I’m trying something unfamiliar or working toward a goal that others might not understand. Confidence doesn’t mean believing that you’re always right or that you’re better than everyone around you; it means being willing to act even when you’re not completely certain of the outcome. Sometimes, people give up on ideas they genuinely care about because someone else makes them feel foolish for trying. I would want to listen to advice without allowing every criticism to determine how I see myself. More importantly, I would want to understand that my worth doesn’t disappear just because something I attempt doesn’t work out.
Photo by 4. My Memories
If I had access to my memories like files on a computer, I would be tempted to remove some painful experiences, particularly the ones that still make me uncomfortable when I think about them. However, I would hesitate before deleting anything permanently, because even the experiences we wish had never happened can influence the boundaries we establish and the people we eventually become. A painful memory might teach us to recognize a harmful pattern, appreciate a healthier relationship, or understand someone else’s suffering more deeply. That doesn’t mean every painful experience is necessary or that people should be grateful for everything they’ve endured. I would rather learn how to remember difficult moments without allowing them to control my present.
5. My Emotional Reactions
I would change the way I respond to strong emotions, especially when anger, disappointment, or anxiety makes a situation feel much worse than it actually is. Sometimes, we say things we don’t mean because we react before giving ourselves enough time to understand what we’re feeling. A small disagreement can become a serious conflict simply because neither person is willing to pause and consider what the other might be experiencing. I wouldn’t want to become someone who never feels sadness or frustration, because emotions can tell us something important about our needs and boundaries. I would want the ability to experience those feelings without automatically allowing them to decide what I do next.
6. My Motivation
I would make it easier to begin difficult tasks, because waiting until I feel motivated has never seemed like a particularly reliable way to make progress. There are days when even something important feels exhausting, and it’s tempting to postpone it until tomorrow, when I imagine I’ll have more energy or a better attitude. The problem is that tomorrow often arrives with the same distractions and doubts, leaving the task unfinished for another day. I wouldn’t want constant motivation, because no one can realistically feel enthusiastic about everything they need to do. I would rather develop the ability to take a small step even when I don’t feel ready, knowing that progress often begins before motivation appears
7. My Ability to Learn
As someone interested in technology and computer engineering, I would love to understand complicated subjects more quickly and remember what I’ve learned without needing to revisit the same material repeatedly. Imagine being able to understand a difficult concept after one explanation and then use that knowledge to create something genuinely useful. Still, I wouldn’t want information simply downloaded into my brain without any effort, because learning involves more than collecting facts; it changes the way we approach problems and connect ideas. Struggling with a concept can force us to ask better questions and discover connections we might otherwise overlook. I would improve my ability to learn while keeping the curiosity and experimentation that make learning worthwhile in the first place.
8. My Relationships
I would become better at recognizing which relationships bring mutual respect and understanding into my life and which ones repeatedly leave me feeling exhausted, anxious, or uncertain about my worth. It’s easy to hold on to a relationship because of its history, even when the way we treat each other has gradually become unhealthy. At the same time, I wouldn’t want to label every difficult person as toxic, because misunderstandings and disagreements are normal parts of being close to someone. I would want to recognize the difference between a relationship that needs honest communication and one in which my boundaries are repeatedly ignored. Most importantly, I would learn to care about people without believing that I must sacrifice my own well-being to keep them around.
9. My Need for Approval
I would reduce the importance I place on other people’s opinions, because constantly wondering what everyone thinks can make even simple decisions unnecessarily difficult. We might avoid wearing something we like, pursuing an unusual career, or sharing an honest opinion because we’re worried about being judged. The strange thing is that the people whose approval we spend so much time chasing are often busy worrying about their own lives and how others perceive them. I wouldn’t stop listening to feedback, because other people can notice weaknesses and opportunities that we overlook ourselves. I would simply want to make decisions based on my values rather than treating every outside opinion as a verdict on who I am.
10. My Fear of Uncertainty
If I could adjust one of my deeper fears, I would make uncertainty easier to live with, because so much of our anxiety comes from trying to predict things that haven’t happened yet. We want to know whether our plans will succeed, whether our relationships will last, and whether the decisions we make today will eventually lead us somewhere worthwhile. Unfortunately, life rarely provides guarantees before asking us to make important choices. I would still plan for the future and think carefully about risks, but I wouldn’t want the need for certainty to prevent me from moving forward. Sometimes, the only way to discover whether something is right for us is to try it without knowing exactly how the story will end.
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
11. My Creativity
I would give myself more freedom to explore ideas without immediately judging whether they were practical, impressive, or likely to succeed. Some of the most interesting ideas begin as strange questions that don’t appear to have an obvious purpose, yet we often dismiss them because we’re too concerned with producing something useful straight away. I would love to experiment more freely, connecting technology with psychology, asking unusual questions about human behavior, and exploring possibilities that might lead nowhere at all. Not every idea needs to become a project or generate a measurable result to be worth exploring. Sometimes, curiosity itself is valuable because it takes us beyond the limits of what we already understand.
12. My Sense of Time
I would become more aware of how I spend my time, especially during those moments when I pick up my phone for a few minutes and somehow discover that an hour has passed. Technology gives us incredible opportunities to learn, communicate, and create, but it can also fill every quiet moment before we have a chance to decide what we actually want to do. I don’t believe that every minute needs to be productive, because relaxing, daydreaming, and spending time with people we love are important parts of life too. The problem begins when we repeatedly spend time on things that don’t even make us feel better afterward. I would want to be more intentional about my days, so that the life I’m building reflects my priorities rather than my habits alone.
13. My Ability to Let Go
I would make it easier to let go of experiences and disappointments that I can no longer change, because repeatedly revisiting the past can sometimes prevent us from noticing what is still possible in the present. We may spend years wondering what would have happened if we had made a different decision, stayed with a different person, or taken an opportunity when it appeared. Reflection can help us understand our mistakes, but endless regret rarely provides the answers we hope to find. I wouldn’t want to forget the people or experiences that shaped me, even if some of them left painful memories behind. I would want to carry the lessons forward without feeling that I must keep carrying the pain in exactly the same way.
Photo by Jakub Żerdzicki on Unsplash
14. My Definition of Success
I would question the automatic belief that success must look the same for everyone, because it’s easy to spend years pursuing goals that impress other people without ever asking whether those goals would make us happy. Society often encourages us to measure our progress through money, status, possessions, and public recognition, even though those things cannot tell the whole story of someone’s life. Financial security and achievement can absolutely improve our circumstances, but they don’t automatically guarantee meaningful relationships, peace of mind, or a sense of purpose. I would still want to achieve ambitious things, but I would try to define success according to what genuinely matters to me. Otherwise, I might spend my entire life climbing toward a destination only to discover that it was never where I wanted to go.
15. My Need to Control Everything
Finally, I would reduce my desire to control every outcome, because the more I think about this imaginary simulation, the more I wonder whether unlimited control would eventually become another kind of prison. If I could remove every obstacle, prevent every disappointment, and guarantee that everything happened according to plan, I might lose the unexpected experiences that introduce me to new people, ideas, and possibilities. Life would probably feel easier in many ways, but ease and fulfillment aren’t always the same thing. I would still want the ability to make thoughtful decisions and protect myself from unnecessary suffering, but I wouldn’t want to turn every uncertain moment into a problem that must be solved. Perhaps some things become meaningful precisely because we cannot control how they unfold.
Would You Change Your Settings?
Writing these fifteen possibilities made me realize that the changes I would want most aren’t necessarily about becoming more intelligent, attractive, or successful, but about learning to handle fear, attention, uncertainty, and the expectations I place on myself.
Maybe the real question isn’t whether we could create a perfect version of ourselves, but whether perfection would leave us with enough room to learn, change, and discover things we never expected. If our lives really had hidden settings, I suspect that choosing what not to change would be just as important as deciding what to improve.
If you could change just one setting in your life, what would it be, and why? I’d genuinely love to hear your answer.
A Thank You to Max ❤️
This article began with an idea suggested by my reader Max, whose recommendation inspired me to imagine what we might do if we discovered hidden settings in our own reality. Thank you, Max, for sharing your ideas and reminding me that a simple question can lead to a much bigger conversation about who we are and who we want to become.
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