“Is this love?” Emery asked herself as she stared up at the big country sky. Miles away from city limits, the light of town no longer pollutes it. The stars appeared low enough to reach out and pluck for herself. Her heart raced as Adam kissed her neck. The May air that her chest was exposed to was intoxicating. Adam’s hands ran recklessly through her hair and back down over her bare breasts. She reminded herself that her hair tie was hanging from his turn signal. She would need it to avoid unwanted questions by her parents when she got home. He kissed her neck some more and her heart raced faster. Their breathing synchronized when she closed her eyes and gave herself to the shared intensity captivating her in the bed of his pick-up.
A deep creek meanders below the country bridge his truck was parked on. The sound of cicadas pulsated between his breaths in her ear. He whispered and she nodded. Adam readjusted himself on top of her. Her lungs seized the moment he entered her. In that moment, she lost herself. She forgot everything— who she was, where she was, her hair tie, the anatomy test in the morning, her boyfriend, her alibi, her aunt’s warnings about riding in cars with boys, her promise and the fact that it was her first time. She was completely captivated as if she was one with everything around her. The bridge connected more than two roads over a creek.
For Emery, it was where pleasure meets pain, heaven meets earth, boy meets girl, innocence meets knowledge.
He stopped thrusting and fumbled through his jeans lying on the wheel well. He opened a condom wrapper and rolled the latex on to himself. She panted as she asked, “What are you doing?” It wasn’t his first time, so he answered with much more poise, “Using protection.”
She pled, “Okay. Just hurry up. Keep going!”
Once the condom was on, she wasted no time inserting it back inside herself. Shortly after, she pushed his hips away. He was breathing heavily and asked her, “What is it? You good?”
The indention of her ribs appeared and disappeared rapidly as she panted heavily in the moonlight.
She moaned, “I’m getting rid of this. It’ll be better without it.” She grabbed him at his base, slid the condom off with her hand, and handed it back to him.
He looked at it and flirtatiously said, “What am I suppose to do with it now?”
She was already rushing him back inside her when she moaned, “I don’t know. I don’t care. Just get rid of it.”
He put the condom back inside its wrapper and tossed it over the side of the bridge. Unwanted cares were thrown away the rest of the night. They added their initials with the other graffiti on the guard rails of the bridge before they returned home.
It was awkward for Emery and Adam after that night, especially passing each other in the halls when her boyfriend, Levi, was with her. They shared a secret on the bridge but the tension and their attraction was obvious. Luckily, graduation was weeks away and the awkward eye-contact had an expiration date. Emery would be starting college up north and Adam would be down south on a baseball scholarship.
She compartmentalized the guilt by telling herself no one should go to college as a virgin, even though her and her boyfriend exchanged promise rings of celibacy. She would fidget with her ring while staring off at her desk thinking about the night on the bridge. She was also haunted by the thought of her boyfriend finding out. He was going up north with her. He really was a great guy, perfect in every way— quarterback, tall, popular, handsome. Plus, he was very loyal. “He’s the guy you marry” is what her best friend always told her.
She would respond, “I know! I know! I’m going to!” Then look down at her ring, fidget with it and say, “I can’t wait.”
During summer break, Adam tried to get her to sneak to the bridge again. Her words always said no but the look in her smile, the look in her eyes, and her subtle sighs before answering hinted otherwise. She told Adam, “You’re not taking me out there again.” He said, “Fine. I guess you’ll have to take me then.” She rolled her eyes and hid her smile remembering that night.
Emery and Levi showed up to a backyard get together one night at the end of summer. They walked by Adam who was pouring drinks for everyone at the keg. He extended a cup to Levi and Emery, “Drink?” Levi answered for both of them, “No thanks. We don’t drink.” Adam held on to the cup he offered and replied, “Oh, that’s right. You’re like a straight-edge kind of guy, right? You guys are like saving yourselves for marriage too, aren’t you?”
Emery couldn’t make eye contact.
Levi replied, “Yeah, yeah. Go ahead and make fun of it. I know it’s not your cup of tea.”
Adam fired back smiling, “Hey man, just because it’s not my cup of tea doesn’t mean I haven’t drank it.”
His remark went over Levi’s head, who tried to neutralize the conversation by saying, “You’re not about that life is all I mean.”
Adam smirked, “I know what you mean and you’re right…” his eyes locked with hers as he continued, “I just don’t know how you can resist what you already know you want.” Then he downed the beer he offered them. “I have an idea though.”
Levi inquired, “What’s your idea?”
Adam said, “Everyone here is wanting to hit the backroads later but everyone here has been drinking, except for you two. Do you mind driving us? I’m pretty sure we can fit everybody here in two trucks.” He looked at Emery again, “We can squeeze in the truck beds. Some people like it back there.”
Levi shrugged nonchalantly, “Why not. It’s the last big night we’ll all be together. So why not go out with a bang?”
Adam coughed on his sip trying not to laugh at the choice of words. He wiped his mouth and said, “Great! You can take my brothers truck,” throwing Levi the keys. Then he handed the keys to his truck to Emery and said with a shit-eating grin, “We’ll be going to the bridge tonight. You can take me out there now.”
They drove out to the bridge and everyone was in full summer mode— drinking, reminiscing, planning next weekend and trying to see what sparks can turn to flames. Emery hadn’t been back since that night. When the music lulled, the cicadas could be heard and memories flooded her mind as she fidgeted with her ring.
“You okay?” Levi asked Emery staring off in the distance.
She replied, “Yeah… yeah… (cleared her throat) yes. I’m fine.”
Late into the night, Dakota stood up on the cab of Adam’s truck to get everyone’s attention. Everyone got quiet to hear what he was going to say. Dakota earned class clown and most likely to go to jail honors just weeks prior. There was no telling what he was ever going to do or say.
“Everyone listen up! Do you guys know where we are? As you all know, mimaw was Native American. But check this out, she said this creek was a special kind of cleansing creek. If something was burdening you, you came here and casted your cares into the waters. So it got me thinking. It got me thinking how those waters aren’t too deep or too fast. It got me thinking how burdensome clothes are on a hot night like tonight…”
He raised his cup and hollered like he was leading a battalion into battle,
“I was thinking… Let’s go skinny dipping!” The group of graduates roared in response. Dakota yelled, “Toss those cares!” He wrestled his own shirt off and said, “Get these worries off of me!” Then he hurled his entire outfit over the bridge. Standing buck naked on the truck, he beat his chest and growled like a gorilla.
The rest of the group followed his lead until everything anyone had on themselves became water under the bridge. For the graduates of that class, it was the most unforgettable night they shared. From then on, it became a ritual tradition to throwing unwanted things off the bridge.
College wasn’t what Emery thought it would be. It offered everything she expected but she didn’t imagine her lack of appetite toward any of it. Not long after starting her semester, she would find herself skipping class. She did just enough to maintain enrollment and pass her classes but she wasn’t the same over-achieving perfectionist she was in high school.
“It’s just a post-high-school phase kids her age go through.” Her mom said to a friend over the phone. Emery concerned herself more than most with the freshmen fifteen college kids gain in their first year. Her inner-perfectionist couldn’t stand it. She changed everything from hairstyle to the way she dressed. Levi, on the other hand, stayed the same encouraging perfect person, excelling at anything he put his mind to.
On Thanksgiving break, the classmates who returned home planned another night on the bridge. Emery didn’t know Levi had something special planned. When Levi didn’t drop her off at her parent’s house, she asked him where he was going.
“You’ll see.” He said with a smile.
“Tell me!” She begged him in a playful, fake pouty voice.
He said, “We’re going to meet everyone at the bridge is all,” but she could tell he was still holding something back.
The party peaked around midnight. The music stopped and started playing her and Levi’s song. The sudden change in music and vibe felt orchestrated to her. When she turned around to look for Levi, he was behind her on one knee holding a ring.
In her mind, everything seemed so perfect. It was romantic. The air had that crisp chill that made you want to hug somebody. It was so perfect she cried saying yes. The others clapped and wooed but no one knew the tears were her guilt streaming down her face. She loved Levi and everything happening between them, but she didn’t feel like she deserved it. She cried at the idea of him proposing on the pavement of her darkest secret. The bridge for her was another hinge where promise meets secret, dreams meet nightmares, where hide meets seek.
Her stomach kicked and turned at the dreaming of her future with Levi. Every piece of happiness that would come with his last name felt like little knives stabbing her in the gut. Anxiety hexed her dreams of them spending the rest of their lives together.
As time went on, her guilt became her own personal ghost. The more she loved him, the more it hurt being who she knew she was.
In February, she made a weekend trip home by herself. Little did she know, Adam did too. They made it home in the evening and crossed paths at the gas station. He whistled at her re-hanging the gas pump handled back in the holder. She blushed when she saw it was him.
Adam smiled at her, “What are you doing here?”
She hid her blush, “Just taking a break. There’s a couple things I have to take care of before I go back.”
Adam asked her, “Where’s Levi?”
She replied, “Up north still.”
He smiled a shit-eating grin, “Oh really? I’d imagine hardly anyone is back home. You know what that means?”
She answered with the same question, “What does that mean?”
Adam enlightened her, “Means we can have the bridge all to ourselves.” He winked.
She shook her head, “You are ate up!” Then looked away despondently and said, “but you’re right.”
He said, “You up for a drive?”
Her answer surprised him, “I am actually, but I’ll meet you out there.”
He shrugged with his eye brows, “Suit yourself.”
They parked their cars on the bridge next to their initials they spray painted just 9 months prior. He walked over to her car and sat in her passenger seat.
He closed the door and said, “Well this is exciting.” He put his hand on her leg. She put her hand on his to keep it from advancing any further and then he started kissing her neck.
She pulled back, “Hold on. Stop. Stop. I want to talk to you.”
In a flirty manner he said, “We didn’t have to drive out all the way out here if you just wanted to talk, you know.” He continued kissing her neck then her cheek and massaging her chest.
“Stop!” She yelled as loud as she could.
Totally confused, Adam responded, “What the hell is going on?”
She didn’t answer him. She just leaned forward crying in the driver’s seat.
Adam stood down, “Forget it! Fine! Let’s talk. What’s going on?” She continued crying making him more and more frustrated. “Are you going to tell me or am I suppose to guess? Emery, hey! What’s going on?”
After a few minutes she collected herself. She turned her face toward him with her forehead still pinned to the steering wheel.
“Adam, I’m having a baby…” She cried again.
Adam still had dots to connect and didn’t know how to respond.
“Congratulations, I guess. But I thought Levi was celibate or whatever.”
She deflated when she said, “He is.”
More dots connected for Adam but not all. “Oh shit!” He said. “I see. Damn. When are you suppose to have it?”
She was breathing harder than their first night on the bridge. She mustered up a reply, “Right now! My water broke…”
Adam was completed caught off guard, “What! You’re having a baby right now!?”
She corrected him, “We are. We are having a baby right now. You’re the only person, OW!… you’re the only person I’ve been with.”
His hands melted down his face. His eyes darted for anything to spark an idea for some kind of solution. He looked at his phone and said, “We have to call an ambulance!”
Emery grabbed his phone from him, “No!”
“What why?”
“No one can know about this.”
“What in the actual hell, Emery! Are you outta your mind!? What are you going to do? Hide a baby?!”
She started taking her shoes off in the floor board of the driver’s seat. “Help me.”
Adam threw his hands up, “What am I supposed to do?”
Emery snapped at him, “Take my damn pants off like you came here to do. Help me get in the back seat or something. I need room.”
She started screaming again. He ran to his truck and laid a blanket down in the truck bed. He opened her driver side door, put her in his arms and carries her to his tail gate. She moved herself on top of the blanket continuing to scream from the contractions. He frantically pulled her pants off her legs. When he saw blood, he got light-headed and sat next to her. She squeezed his hand like she was trying to break it.
The color rushed back to his face and he said, “This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening. I’m not ready to be a dad! What the hell, Adam? What the hell?”
When he looked back at her he got nauseous, “Oh my god! I see a head!”
She yelled, “Shut up and help me!”
She let out one last blood curling scream and push. The baby shot out.
He said, “Holy shit! It’s… it’s purple! Is it dead? Is it breathing?” He got up-close to study it. “It’s not breathing! It’s not breathing. Emery, it’s freaking dead!”
She cried hysterically. She couldn’t get her mind to understand what was happening. Where she once felt one with everything in the bed of his pick-up, she now felt no connection with anything. She lost herself fully in that moment. Who she was, where she was. Once again on a bridge— where life meets death. All she could hear was the voice of the ghost inside of her head. She handed Adam the baby and the placenta half-wrapped in her jeans he had taken off of her.
He said, “What do you want me to do with it now?”
She said, “I don’t know. I don’t care. Just get rid of it. It’ll be better without it.” Then she sobbed.
He took off his shirt and wrapped it around the baby, looked around to see if anyone was near, and tossed it off the side of the bridge from his truck. That’s when the unimaginable happened. When the child left Adam’s hands, it let out a cry, wailing all the way down until it disappeared into the waters.
In total disbelief, he fell to his knees and exploded into tears. He kicked off his shoes and jumped over the side of the bridge to save it. Every bit of a half hour passed with him swimming ferociously to find the child until he was exhausted and empty handed.
He walked back up to his truck where Emery clutched her knees atop a bloody blanket. She fidgeted with her ring and stared off into the distance. He tried to get her attention, but all she could do was stare out from the bridge. All she could hear was the cry of the child she had given to the creek.
He pulled a jacket from the cab of his truck and wrapped it around her. For the rest of the night they drove around in silence. They watched the world pass by out of the windows of Adam’s truck while the sound of the baby crying lived permanently in their minds.
At sunrise, they made their way back to the bridge. Emery wrote a note apologizing to her fiancé. Adam’s note apologized to the child. Together, they stripped down to nothing and threw themselves off the side of the bridge into the water. Their notes were found later that day but their bodies were found days later.
Ever since then, locals say the bridge has been haunted. If you go there at night and stand on the bridge. You’ll hear the baby crying. If you want it to stop, you have to toss a burden off the side of the bridge to cleanse yourself from being haunted by its cry.
And that is why it’s called Cry Baby Bridge.