I am a self-proclaimed lady of leisure <bows>, I come complete with fancy artisanal teas, "my husband died under mysterious circumstances" long flowy robes, and a solid side eye that transitions effortlessly into an enviable eye roll (only reserved for those who deserve it because we all know that one person...lol).
According to dictionary.com, being a lady of leisure describes a woman that does not need to earn a living.
Being a lady of leisure for me, is about time, it is about not doing the things I don't want out of obligation, not giving all of me away and getting nothing in return. For me it is about creativity and pleasure. It is about peace and ease.
Like many, I still need to work to keep myself afloat. But what I have freed myself of, are time wasters, energy-drainers, one-sided relationships. This means that I use the word "no" often, I set boundaries. I do my best to work smart and not unnecessarily hard. I am learning to ask for and receive help. I am learning to stop carrying everything on my shoulders. I am learning to not worry so much and let go of what doesn't really matter.
In other, words I no longer suffer other people's shit. I no longer pour into others if my cup is empty.
I have, in the words of Maxine Waters, reclaimed my time.
What are some of the benefits of being a lady of leisure?
Less stress.
Less anxiety.
More space to be me, authentically.
More time to do whatever I choose, even if I choose to do absolutely nothing.
Pamper sessions.
Deep conversations with people I love and respect.
And much more.
I am working on the untethering...the undoing...the shedding of all the things expected of me but not for me. It is a process. But right now I breathe a lot better, I feel so much better. I am perfecting the art of reclaiming my time, setting and boundaries and not feeling guilty about it. Even with a Full Time job, I am fully leaning into be a lady of leisure. I like it here.
p.s., i chuckled at the above image. but was also disturbed at how my search for "lady of leisure" returned no women of color. le sigh. if anyone has good images like the one above but featuring Black women, please point me to where I can find them.