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Interesting conversation on Threads (link at the bottom of the post). User "Deletehimsis" on Threads says:
Purposely avoiding friendships with single women just because you're married has got to be one of the most male-identified things ever. Like, Mrs. Gworl, huh? Imagine basing your friendships on whether or not they’ve been chosen by a man.
The comments were revealing. It seems, for many people, being single is synonymous with a life of going out, clubbing, and partying—nothing more. No substance, just being "seen." Is that what friendship has been reduced to? A party buddy? Many of these responses highlight a warped, shallow view of friendship: a transactional means to an end.
A lot of people don’t truly seek relationships—they crave companionship. I’m talking about those who can’t stand being alone, who can’t eat out or do anything solo without someone by their side. It makes sense how these individuals enter "relationships" and discard friends who were just placeholders. Naturally, when the relationship sours, they come crawling back. They lack a solid sense of self and are uncomfortable with solitude.
I also know for a fact there are married women who drop single friends purely because they’re single. It’s a male- or romance-centered worldview where friendships only matter when they’re convenient or socially validating. Some even see coupling as "leveling up," dismissing single friends as inferior. But life doesn’t work that way. You can’t circle back to good people after treating them like an afterthought.
Case in point: I had an associate who ghosted me when she committed to a relationship. I supported her relationship fully, but once she got comfortable, she disappeared. Then, months later, she reached out, mentioning an impending breakup and suggesting we meet up. I waited a week before replying vaguely and left it there. I don’t believe in playing games, but if someone’s behavior forces me to create distance, I take that as a clear sign to move on. I simply don’t have the energy for people who don’t value genuine connection.
Ultimately, people who are evolving, who actively live their lives, grow and transform. You can’t expect them to remain the same after a long absence. They may not need or want you back in their lives. Misery loves company, and those unhappy in their singleness often project their misery onto others, assuming everyone is just as discontent. They imagine us staring at walls, doing nothing. We aren’t.
In the end, the issue is the lack of depth in how we relate to one another. This relationship hierarchy only breeds disconnection. I firmly believe in surrounding myself with people who value and appreciate my energy—nothing less.
Link to the referenced Thread:
https://www.threads.net/@deletehimsis/post/DC2Az1zvd0Q?xmt=AQGz5ZD_6uspxosWFsyfl1766iRJRO5Z62-ezy75ahI5xg