I tracked (almost) all of the thousands of beers I have enjoyed over the course of the last several years. Here’s what I learned:
Turtles All The Way Down — Odd Colony Brewing Company
I’ve been in the pursuit of beer one thousand for quite some time now. Brewery after brewery, dive bar after dive bar, sporting event after sporting event - the number steadily climbed while my bank account begged for a weekend off or to at least entertain the idea of mixing in a water. I rarely obliged — simply wanted it too bad.
1,019 Total Beers — 437 Unique Beers
However, now that I’m standing above the corpses of my fallen enemies, littered all over the battlefield (empty beer cans that ideally ended up in a recycle bin but undoubtedly didn’t) all I can do is look inward and do a little self reflecting. Here’s a few of those dumb, silly little thoughts:
Life is stocked to the absolute brim with false peaks and even false-r valleys
I know the correct grammar for false-r is more false but the former is much more dramatic (dramatic-er).
Seriously though think back over the last several years of your life and really hone in on those times you failed miserably. Maybe it was at work, in the gym, choking down a god awful stout for beer #238 — whatever “it” was — it probably felt like the worst day of your life. Now how does it feel? Pretty insignificant I imagine. I think it’s important to care deeply enough about whatever it is in your life that when you do fail it absolutely crushes you. However, I think it is even more important to be able to convince yourself that it’s a nothing more than a false valley as quickly as you can. Stew for a little then get over it.
The false peaks are just icing on the cake in my opinion. They feel life changing in the moment and fond memories in the not so distant future. A win-win.
Trying something new is always a good thing. When the new thing is awesome — good. When the new thing sucks — even better, now you know.
Any true beer enthusiast has been there. You get a recommendation from the bartender at a place you’ve never been that starts with you asking, “What’s good here?”. The bartender proceeds to introduce you to the worst possible liquid bread abomination you’ve ever tasted. Like so bad it tests your will to not throw it against the back wall and demand your money back. The type of beer that non-beer drinkers will point to and be like “See! That’s why I can’t get into IPAs. They all taste like piss and have names like ‘Even God Can’t Save Your Tastebuds Lager’”.
So what’s good about this? Now you know that whatever they are putting into “The Devils Taint Session IPA” is NOT for you and can commit this experience to memory. Next time you’re at the new age, hip craft brewery and the Rollie Fingers mustache bartender suggests something similar you can politely decline. Obviously, I’m not advocating for you to go on a bar crawl around your city trying every beer that sounds more like a shitty, garage metal cover band — but what I am advocating for is trying new things.
Trying new things — even something as simple as beer — is a great way to break up your mundane routine. Also, not all new beers taste like “We Tried to Make a Hazy IPA — Sorry! Double IPA” and may end up being some of the best beers you’ve ever had. Additional honorable mentions for terrible tasting beer names:
Homeless Shelter Hefeweizen
Stagnant Pond Water American IPA
Stepped in Dog Shit! Amber Ale
You Already Know This Sucks Triple IPA
No really — just mix in a water here and there.
This is so applicable to every day life, maybe even more so then drinking. If you go 200 mph all day every day you’ll eventually burn yourself out. Regardless of that you’re doing. It’s not a sign of weakness to feather the breaks a bit. I’m not saying there isn’t a time and a place. For example, your buddies third bachelor party for his fourth wedding in five years is certainly not the time to mix in a water. But if we are meeting the parents for the first time — maybe have a water before that 4th IPA hits your frontal lobe. Just a thought.
It’s okay for your interests to change and adapt overtime. Don’t keep drinking blueberry sours for no reason.
I can’t count the amount of times I heard the phrase “Alcohol is an acquired taste” growing up. Which to an extent it certainly is, but to continue to drink something that you can’t stand is not “determined” or “cool” you’re an idiot. Drink and do what you want. Suddenly lost the taste for IPAs and want to drink sour beers all day — then DO it. Hate a certain genre of TV show or media you loved as kid — STOP watching it. Can’t stand the people you’ve surrounded yourself with — MOVE on. You are only doing yourself a disservice if you continue down a path you dislike. Adapt to the new version of yourself and watch life (and beer) start getting good again.
So, that’s what I’ve learned. Did the thousand beers have anything to do with the lessons I’ve learned? Maybe? Would I have wanted to learn those lessons sans said one thousand beers? Absolutely not…
Also, for those wondering to themselves, “Did this guy just manually track every beer he had on a little notebook like a serial killer?” The answer is no — I used Untappd. Arguably the greatest beer tracking app ever made by mankind, but obviously I’m extremely bias. If you’re interested, make an account and add me there to follow along on my journey to 2,000. Cheers.