Why "the guy who almost made it"?
Memoirs from the Edges of Hollywood
Here I am in Switzerland, getting older by the day, staring out at mountains that honestly don’t interest me much, wondering: Why the hell didn’t I write all this down 20 years ago?Because back then, I still believed the big breakthrough was just around the corner. The Oscar-worthy film. The series that would shatter ratings records. The moment everyone would say, “Podzkiewitz – he made it.”Spoiler: That moment never came.But every time I tell friends one of these stories, they go, “Man, that’s fascinating – you gotta write this down before it’s gone forever.” And they’re right.That’s exactly why this newsletter is called The Guy Who Almost Made It.I’m no self-made millionaire. No guru. No influencer flexing a six-pack and six-figure monthly income. I’m one of those guys who stumbled through the German TV and film world in the 80s, 90s, and 2000s – sometimes as a cameraman, sometimes directing, always with the best ideas that never quite happened because of missing connections... or because they got quietly stolen.I shot with legends: Günter Pfitzmann, interviewed Bernd Eichinger, met Wolfgang Petersen in Hollywood, crossed paths with Billy Wilder, Charlton Heston, Robert Redford. I had elephants in frame in Kenya, pulled double shifts on November 9, 1989, when the Berlin Wall fell and nobody knew if it was the end or the beginning of something huge. On my initiative, a section of Griffith Park in L.A. got named Berlin Forest (a nod to the sister-city bond). I had the first German film at Sundance. I shot a ton in the U.S., know the American West better than most Americans do – it’s my absolute favorite country, right next to my relatively new home in Switzerland. I even lived in the Caribbean for a while, making films there.And still: No star on the Walk of Fame. No Golden Camera trophy on the shelf. Instead: A firing here, a project that imploded there, a few hundred marks in unpaid wages, and eventually the move to Switzerland – kids, a dog, life just had to keep going.Sure, I made decent money in the business at times, even funded rhino protection films in Namibia out of my own pocket. A failure? Maybe. But a damn interesting life? Absolutely. I’ve got stories.Stories that come flooding back now, decades later – often at 3 a.m. when I can’t sleep. The hippie era I almost missed. That night in L.A. when I nearly bought a Maserati, but the money didn’t arrive in time. Meeting Peggy March, who still speaks perfect German and misses Currywurst. And bumping into Jack Nicholson in his bathrobe at the Shell gas station on Mulholland Highway in Calabasas.None of this is made up. It happened. It was chaotic, embarrassing, absurd – and that’s exactly why it’s worth telling.Why now?Because most “success stories” online are polished to death. Everyone shows only the highlights. I want the opposite: the outtakes. The moments when you think, “Shit, that’s it – game over.” And then you keep going anyway. Because life doesn’t follow a neat three-act structure; it’s a long, messy script full of plot holes.And because I hope someone out there sees themselves in this. Someone who once thought they were on their way up – only to realize the path loops in circles, heads downhill, or leads nowhere. And who either keeps pushing... or stops and realizes that’s okay too.No get-rich-quick tips here. No “10 Steps to Success.” Just honest reflections: sometimes funny, always interesting, occasionally bitter, but always real.If you feel like reading along – great.
If you’re thinking, “Damn, that’s me – I’m one of those guys too” – even better. Drop a comment: What’s your biggest “failure” moment that makes you laugh now? Or still stings?I’m just starting. Chronologically? Nah – I don’t even remember the exact order anymore. For those who think life’s too short for risks, it ends eventually. I’m around page 350 already, and there’s more every day. Endless photos and documents I’m scanning and archiving.Can’t wait to share it all with you. See you in the next chapter,
Great song from my film “Southwest Highways” about travelling in the West on a Motorbike ( Laughlin River Run ) Great song, completely unknown in the USA
Parking lot in Palm Springs, when I was much younger