The Fool Card -The Wild Unknown Tarot / Image by Fiona Murray
I was experiencing a huge wave of anxiety, and I realised that the emotion arising within me was uncertainty. I noticed that, in order to mitigate the discomfort of uncertainty, my mind likes to create narratives to explain why I feel this way: "You need to organise this. You haven't paid for that. We don't have the money for this. So-and-so is doing that. That's why you feel uncertain."
Then, you begin this witch hunt on yourself. You start attacking and berating yourself for all the things you haven't done to make yourself feel secure. You do all of this—well, I do—all in the hope that the feeling of uncertainty, the emotion of not knowing what to do, and not knowing what's next, will somehow disappear. But it doesn't. It just intensifies, right?
Now, not only do you not know what to do and what's going to happen next, but you also feel like you have this totally incompetent body that doesn't know what it's doing. It's a very cruel narrative that stops you from seeing the genius of the body. All uncertainty means, as an emotion, is: "I don't know what's next, I don't know what to do, and I may not know who I am." So, uncertainty means I'm moving through a transition and expansion, and that expansion requires me to not know what's next—and that's okay. I don't know what's next, I don't know what to do, I don't know how it's going to happen, and all of that has nothing to do with me.
When I accept that, I can be with the uncertainty, and it begins to ground itself. This allows me to take a breath and re-enter into the body's experience without denying it because of the stories I've made up about what I don't know. We make up reasons why we cannot engage with life in the way we think we should, and this is a cruel trick of the mind because it detaches us from our actual reality, from who we are being—and that's all we're called to love: who we are being. We're not even called to change who we're being. That change happens naturally from the love and adoration of a loving gaze, of a loving passenger, of a loving mind that isn’t consumed with keeping the body alive. The mind has no idea how to keep the body alive. It just has a bunch of memories of what someone else did in the past, or maybe even what you did in the past if you’re lucky.
Awareness allows you to connect with that past and integrate it into your own body, whether through ancestral practice or just presence. Understand that you aren’t the first human to try this thing called life, but you are the first human to have the life you're in—and to approach it as such. And if you were guiding someone through such a task, how would you treat them? That’s how you should treat yourself. You are your own guide, and this guide has help from beyond and from right here in the material realm, demonstrated in a material way. Uncertainty lets you know you are expanding, and when it’s time to see what that expansion is and the implications of such change, you’ll know. You’ll move through it as naturally as a knife through butter if you can only let go of what you think you should be doing and just pay attention to what you are doing—being, seeing, loving, hating, fighting, trying to control.
Uncertainty means change is afoot, more than likely change you asked for, change you felt but have not yet had the steps for, because the steps are in the life, and you cannot know the life until the end. So stop making decisions based on outcomes you have no idea about—how this life will live, love, survive, or how this body will experience it. That’s the movie. Uncertainty is the gift of change, transition, transformation, and expansion. Become aware of your mind’s ability to distract you from such a beautiful truth.
Here are some contemplative questions to explore these themes
1. Why does uncertainty cause such intense anxiety?
Uncertainty triggers anxiety because it challenges our need for control and security.
The mind seeks to create order and predictability, and when faced with the unknown, it generates narratives to fill the discomfort of the gap. Where there is no intelligence there is fear. These narratives and concepts often exacerbate anxiety, as they are rooted in fears generated by our assumptions rather than reality. By recognising that uncertainty is simply a natural part of growth and expansion, we can begin to accept it rather than resist it, reducing the anxiety it causes. Because we now how intelligence as to why the feeling of uncertainty is in our lives.
2. How can we stop the mind from creating negative narratives about uncertainty?
The first step is awareness. You can’t stop the mind from being itself. By becoming conscious of the mind's tendency to create stories around uncertainty, we can start to question and challenge these narratives. Practicing mindfulness allows us to observe these thoughts without becoming entangled in them. Additionally, reframing uncertainty as a sign of growth and expansion rather than a threat can help shift our perspective ,settle us into our bodies experience and slowly reduce the mind's need to generate negative stories to ease the realisation of uncomfortable truths and feelings.
3. What does it mean to "surrender" to uncertainty?
Surrendering to uncertainty means letting go of the need to control or predict the future. It involves accepting that we may not have all the answers and that it’s okay not to know what’s next. Surrendering doesn't imply giving up; rather, it means trusting in the natural flow of life and being open to whatever unfolds. It’s about allowing ourselves to be present in the moment and to engage with life as it is, rather than as we think it should be.
4. How can we differentiate between the mind's narratives and our true self?
The mind’s narratives are often rooted in fear, judgment, and past experiences, while the true self is connected to a deeper sense of awareness and presence. By practicing mindfulness and self-reflection, we can begin to distinguish between the thoughts generated by the mind and the calm, centered present awareness of the true self. The true self is not bound by the need for validation or control; it exists beyond the stories the mind creates. Because it sees what is happening. No memory just presence.
5. What practical steps can we take to embrace uncertainty in our lives?
To embrace uncertainty, start by cultivating mindfulness through meditation or other awareness practices. This helps you become more present and less reactive to the mind’s narratives. Contemplate that uncertainty is an opportunity for growth rather than a threat. Allow yourself to be open to new experiences without needing to control the outcome. Trust in your body’s resilience and in the natural process of life unfolding. Finally, practice self-compassion, understanding that uncertainty is a natural part of the human experience.
6. How does embracing uncertainty contribute to personal growth and expansion?
Embracing uncertainty allows us to step out of our comfort zones and into the unknown, which is where true growth occurs. When we accept that we don’t have all the answers, we become more open to new possibilities and experiences. This openness fosters creativity, adaptability, and resilience, all of which contribute to our personal development. By moving through uncertainty, we expand our understanding of ourselves and the world, and we become more aligned with our true path.
7. What role does self-compassion play in dealing with uncertainty?
Self-compassion is crucial when dealing with uncertainty because it allows us to be kind to ourselves during moments of doubt and fear. Instead of berating ourselves for not having all the answers, self-compassion encourages us to accept our imperfections and the natural process of not knowing. This gentleness with ourselves creates a supportive inner environment where we can navigate uncertainty with more ease and less self-judgment.
8. Can uncertainty ever be completely eliminated from life?
No, uncertainty can never be completely eliminated from life. It is an inherent part of the human experience. However, our relationship with uncertainty can change. By developing a deeper understanding and acceptance of uncertainty, we can learn to navigate it with greater confidence and less fear. Rather than seeking to eliminate uncertainty, the goal is to embrace it as a catalyst for growth and a reminder of life’s ever-changing nature.
Your uncertainty is an invitation to be present to your expansion and growth, may it lead you to above all you can ask for or think 💭
J 🦉x