Cars have an uncanny ability to bring us back to a certain time and space. Peter and I met for coffee on a hot summer day this week both of us from our homes in Maine. The contrast between us face timing and hearing that his mother's car was a two seater Nash Metropolitan was more than enough to make me giggle when I began to write Peter's story this morning. I had to google the car. Technology has advanced beyond as we might have imagined as children. Never having heard the make and model of Peter's mother's car peaked my curiosity. I've had a lot of exposure to cars and it's one I had never heard of, I learned it has been featured in Blue Hawaii with Elvis Presley, Starsky and Hutch, and even on an episode of the Simpsons. The imagery of the wildly fantastic Nash Metropolitan set the mood for me to write Peter's story.
As we settled into our call, Peter asked me how this works and how do we land on a story of his to share.
"We just talk until something carries us away. It will show up," I assured him.
The funny thing is, this time, our coffee talk didn't lead us down a path to a specific story but unexpectedly an outcome of how Peter chooses to move through life based on the experiences he has had. He spoke briefly of his time growing up in what was a small rural town back then in Maine. He was surrounded by nature and spent many hours with his twin brother riding bikes and climbing trees, something most of us can relate to. I sat back in my chair as he quietly mentioned wanting to get out of Dodge, to see what the world had to offer. That is when I learned of Peter's journey west at the time of the AIDS epidemic where he established one of the first support groups for patients and those afflicted by the misunderstood immunodeficiency syndrome. AIDS is one of those things in life that has the power to stop us all in our tracts. We can remember specific events and where we were when events occurred. I remember sitting on the couch with my mom watching the movie about the little boy Ryan wondering if I was going to get AIDS. I imagined Peter and another person facilitating the support group at a time when fear consumed everything in sight and divided the general population's ability to accept and support individuals facing something so destructive in their lives. Peter not only showed up but rolled up his sleeves and got to work.
He had been born and raised in Maine but felt a pull to experience life from a different perspective. He shared that it was a way in which he could get to know who he was as a person so that in turn he could get to know others as individuals. As our conversation continued so did the idea of serving others in a way that also speaks to reciprocity. The idea of open and honest communication, two people both participating in an exchange of acts of kindness, fair treatment, and willingness to meet one another's needs became something we spoke about for awhile. How is that we can take care of ourselves while still serving others?
Peter referenced that as an adult, it is his turn to define what he brings to this world, how he serves others and meets the needs of humankind. As an educator, writer, and artist he derives much of his inspiration from being a good listener. He shared that it is important to him, regardless of where he might be, to lean in physically when people are talking. How else are you going to hear what they are saying? If you haven't hit pause on your own thoughts and set your full attention on the story they are sharing with you, are you really listening? He spoke about the friendships that he has with people at various stops along his day: Mary at Market Basket and a clerk at Home Depot. These are just some of the people he checks in with, getting updates from their lives, and sharing news from his own. He is somewhat of a collector of stories as well, keeping chains of conversation flowing over the years by making a point to stop and make space for them, it is a part of who he is. He has also collected his own stories from his boyhood with his twin brother, Paul and begun writing his memoir which is on point to be published later this year or early next. The connections bridged between friends and strangers alike are more than just a tally of friends on a list, they exist as a deeper understanding of how we may all be of service to one another, how we may make life a little less of a struggle. As he's grown older he also realizes that there is a need for balance in one's life, needing to feed one's soul so that you may be more able to feed another's.
Peter feeds his soul through nature, being outside and seeing it for all that is. He breathes in its elixir and uses it thoughtfully in the creation of his art. Art exists for Peter in many modalities including painting and writing. He creates with a genuine need for healthy connections, creating safe spaces for friends and family to gather and have difficult conversations. He is an imagineer of this world, bridging the outside within and also the inside without. His art so wonderfully reflects this modality of bridging connections between nature and people. He created a piece in which he connected tree branches into a frame. This polished yet raw piece hangs on the outer wall of his screen porch framing the view out into the woods. The branches are fragile on their own yet formidable while joined together for the larger visual they create. I marveled and expressed how I imagined it as a museum piece, Peter responded nonchalantly by saying, "let's make one together."
Our coffee was more of a snapshot of Peter's larger story, the way in which he lives his life, a great life. I let go of the need to try to make our conversation fit in a box that has begun forming here on these pages. I reimagined this project to fit the way in which our conversation developed into an exchange on how we might get to know people a little bit better and forge relationships that are based in reciprocity and kindness and are a little less unrequited. We agreed that we are all trying to show up in the best way that we can, that's all we can do. Perhaps Peter's story is one that reads there is always more to come. In his unique ability to create space for people and art he is ultimately creating a path forward filled with beautiful relationships. He has built a wonderful network for himself, his partner, their family and friends to celebrate life and friendship, to see the beauty that can be created in caring about one another, plants and animals, and the world we live in. Peter continues to work on finishing his boyhood memoir, growing up in Maine and connecting with people from all walks of life to learn their stories and understand what makes them tick.
I asked Peter for twelve golden bits of wisdom that he could share with each of use here, this is what he offered:
1. start by listening to yourself.
2. listen with intention.
3. move through the world with the hope of being kind in every interaction.
4. forgive yourself when you're not kind.
5. remember to nourish yourself with food, rest, play, quiet, and love.
6. it is necessary to love yourself.
7. be curious about the world.
8. give yourself permission to step back.
9. spend time with animals.
10. being present in and experiencing nature is nature.
11. have a sense of humor about challenges even though they can be painful.
12. express gratitude.
To view Peter's art and learn more about his journey visit his artist's page by clicking here!