Sometimes life delivers the very best news to you. It arrives unexpectedly in a package you may not have imagined. It brings you peace, love, and joy tied up with certainty and as you open it, you discover that you may have had a few things wrong about your life on this planet. Yesterday I sat down for a virtual coffee with Keanisha. It was the first time we had come face to face with one another. I had carved out an hour of my time first thing Monday morning to see what I may see without any idea of what we may be talking about or even where she was from. I entered Kenisha's number into my phone and set it against my laptop screen. She said hello with the brightest smile and warm welcoming embrace. I couldn't help but return it and knew that I had landed in a safe space.
Very quickly we fell into a rhythm of getting to the heart of it, wanting to know who was sitting in front of the other, and asked questions that dove deep beyond small talk. Of course I did find out that in addition to being a writer, Keanisha is a bus driver for public transportation. She is married and has two cats that she loves. We first connected on Substack, I've been meeting lots of people from all over the world there recently. Keanisha described it as stepping out to see what she might find. She recently was asked to be a guest on a podcast sharing her testimonials and had such a positive experience she chose to connect with me to share her story here on buymeacoffee.
Right off the bat she asked, "Are you a Christian?"
I stuttered and paused. My mind reeled and wondered how I wanted to answer her question. This has been a life long journey for me, was there any other ask that could cut to the chase as powerfully as a two edge sword? I was baptized in the Congregational Church as a Protestant. I taught Sunday school, have read the bible throughout my life, and believe in Jesus as a prophet. I also believe that I do my best to be a good person. But honestly I struggle with the idea of judgement, how Christianity has gotten a bad wrap, I'm not sure the message and actions of Jesus are being followed in the way he would have wanted. Having coffee with Keanisha and learning her story was going to be a gift for certain, but it would ask me to examine uncomfortable parts of myself that were very much unsettled. I looked into her lovely eyes and quietly asked her not to judge me before I began answering her question wanting to know if I was a Christian.
I suddenly felt as though I was sharing my story with Keanisha, she was the writer and walking me through a story I needed to tell that I had kept under wraps for most of my life. I took a deep breath, this was my opportunity to have an open discussion with someone who has a working relationship with God, one that she holds in the highest esteem. She has made her relationship her priority in life above all others and draws an incredible source of resiliency, acceptance, joy, peace, and love from. Ironically these are the things I've been chasing most of my life. Keanisha has found her center in a world circling in chaos and catastrophe. She leans on scripture to guide her daily and put forth her best self, knowing that there is a force greater than her individual self. As I shared experiences and thoughts from my life, she was able to recall the corresponding chapter and verse from the Bible. The way in which she spoke each one felt as if they were a road sign helping one navigate their way closer to love and light. Her quick ability to recall each word for word amazed me, lately I've been struggling with remembering the title of the book I'm reading, or where I put my keys. I teased her gently that she should appear on Bible Jeopardy, she was amazing and I felt as though I was witnessing something up close that I had yet to explore deeply for myself.
I asked her what she likes to write about. I wanted to know what brought her to Substack, what it was that connected us together in this deep sea with individuals wanting to be heard and seen. She smiled and told me that she likes to write about her testimonials. Her answer intrigued me. I asked her if she could share one of her testimonials with me.
She prefaced her words with how important and powerful prayer is. She explained that one not only has to have faith and a relationship with God, they must ask God for what it is they want and need. When fear rises in certain situations, the power lies in asking for security and answers so that one will know how best to handle themselves and others. I thought of the million times I felt afraid and alone with no idea of how to move forward in life. The times I've been brought to my knees and remembered who I had turned to in those moments. When my company was dying and I was going to have to close and friends would lose their jobs, I fell to my knees in the shower and asked Jesus to help me. I was what my dad referred to as a fair weather friend, only reaching out to God and Jesus when I was in a world of hurt, behind closed doors. When life had smoothed out and everything was coming up roses I didn't always respond back with gratitude and acknowledgement that something had always shown up unexpectedly to lead me out of harm's way. I took a deep breath, Keanisha was reflecting back to me, my spotty relationship with Spirit and how I might have not done my best to show up, as if a relationship with God might only be a one way street for when we are truly lost.
I encouraged her to share her testimonial with me. Keanisha nodded and preceded gently. She and her husband had been given notice that they would have to find another place to live. Keanisha rolled up her sleeves and called every ad in the paper and when nothing was available, she moved on to hotels and motels for an interim solution. She couldn't find a place that was willing to take her two cats. She reached out to animal shelter as a last ditch effort to keep them safe, but they were full and couldn't take Zeus and his buddy. Time was ticking and it took all her faith to know that everything would work out in the end. Days flashed by and still nothing, she knew she needed to remain calm but the idea of her family being without a home began to wear on her nerves. She repeated scripture to herself, noting that answers come in God's timing, the importance of being patient was an integral part of her faith. In the last few days, after Keanisha had exhausted all possibilities, her husband made a few last ditch effort calls and was answered with two options for their family of four to move into. Keanisha relaxed as her testimonial landed between us and she had relived the struggle with me knowing it had worked out in the end. She expressed this was only just one example in her life in which her faith kept her and loved ones safe and out of harms way.
Keanisha's way is a gentle and based on respect and dignity for all mankind. We considered judgement and the harmful effect is has on so many. She reiterated it is not our place to judge. I nodded and agreed emphatically. I was able to share the one quote from the Bible I have carried with since my early days of Sunday School, "Judge not, that you be not judged." Keanisha nodded and recited, "from Matthew 7:1" I can tell you that I believe in that particular scripture with all my heart and have shared it many times when I felt bullied or was with people who were talking down to others. I usually have delivered it sarcastically, trying to I suppose make them feel a little of what they were dishing out. It never played out very well for me or them. Keanisha added that it was also important that we don't judge ourselves. We need to be kind and loving to others yes, but it is just as important that we know our own worth. I sat back in my chair. I imagined that I had just been given an incredible gift in connecting with this brave, intelligent, and devout woman from Connecticut. She wears her Christianity proudly, I admire her fearless ability to lean into her relationship with God and Jesus regardless of who may judge and criticize her faith. This is religious freedom, for each of us to believe and worship as we choose fit for the betterment of our soul. This is why so many people before us came to this country, to worship their God in a way that they deemed essential for their sovereignty of devotion. They sought religious freedom and unalienable rights at great costs.
I asked Keanisha how she incorporates her relationship with God into her daily life. She shared that she asks God each day to keep her bus safe, her passengers and herself out of harm's way. She spoke honestly about individuals sleeping off drugs and alcohol at the back of her bus and knowing that at the end of the day if they haven't already gotten off the bus she will have to ask them herself. We don't always know how someone will react to us, especially when they're not sober. She asks God to guide her in approaching them with kindness and respect, even when sometimes she may be welling up with fear. I listened as she explained somedays they wake up calmly and simply step off the bus before her shift is over and on rare occasions when they don't she approaches them gently and will say, "excuse me, my shift is over and I need to park this bus." I smiled gently as her eyes twinkled.
Keanisha proudly acknowledged she would rather be writing but for now driving the bus pays the bills. I know that feeling, wanting to support yourself with your passion but for whatever reason it's not the time or place for it to happen. I know the urge to give up and I know what it takes to show up each day writing even when no one may be reading.
An hour flew by and before we knew it, we were saying goodbye. I thanked her for reaching out to me, for "buying me a coffee" here on this platform and for connecting us on Substack. I asked her if I could share a link with all of you to her Substack to read more of her wonderful testimonials. She answered of course and yes to sending me photos too.
https://substack.com/@keanisha
(Keanisha with her two cats, whether you are a Christian or not, there is lots to gain from knowing this woman. I feel incredible fortunate to have shared a cup of coffee with her earlier this week.)
