Welcome to the tavern.
We're all victims of our respective Point-Haired Bosses. We've all had to file our TPS reports through Jira.
Recent supporters
better-living-through-more-form-elements bought a beer.
Proponents say you can configure it to do anything. But that is the goddamn problem. If someone has a nice JIRA process that's because infinite monkeys with infinite config tools will eventually prompt a user for a worthwhile data point.
jira-hater bought a beer.
OMG I thought JIRA was PITA to use then I had to install it for a company!
Jeebus Fucking Christ this is a steaming pile of shit. You think using JIRA is bad to use, installing it is fucking waaay worse.
This mother fucking succubus wants 64 Gigs of RAM just to have acceptable performance for a couple of thousand tickets.
Why are there 40Mb of assets loaded into my browser just to show 10 bastard tickets.
Can you imagine the global CO2 emissions and all the lost fucking productivity Shatlassian is responsible for with this steaming pile of crap?
Just use Linear, Pivotal Tracker, Shortcut, Trello - hell just use fucking Redmine. Anything is better than this vomit; a daily kick in the ovaries/nuts would be less painful than this fucking shit.
Well done Shatlassian, well done :slow_clap:
campcreepy bought a beer.
Sigh. All I needed to do was a bump an Initiative issuetype down to an Epic due to a reporting need stemming from Atlassian's deprecation of no fewer than 5 gadgets off some dashboards I run. I thought, "Why don't I just do that? Flip one issuetype to another?" When really, I should have said to myself, "OH, FUCKNO. DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING INSIDE JIRA'S AWFUL, AWFUL GUTS." Alas, I touched it. I touched it real good and now am paying the price of asking, "But.. why??" over and over again. Until the day I fucking die, I will ask, "But.. why, Jira?? Why, for the love of all that is unholy rusted metal, why?"
It is going to take me HOURS to unfuck what I just fucked. And perhaps a 2nd brain as my primary is filled with the interminable "Why?" And yes, I did know better. Yes, it's my fault. To be fair, it was Jira's fault 1st for being such a goddamned dumpster fire of rigid hierarchy, orphaned tickets, and bizarre UI. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.
I'm not even a PM. I shouldn't be here. :sob:
jirasucksafterlinear bought a beer.
Leave it to fucking Atlassian to come up with the dumbest, most bullshit idea imaginable — letting every damn person in a project edit each other's comments — and then have the fucking nerve to force customers to shell out more money for a paid plan just to disable this god-awful "feature." What a fucking scam.
20 Years Scarred bought a beer.
💩 Atlassian 💩