For the longest time, I used to poke fun at myself…I did it because I was afraid others would say things to hurt me. I was afraid of being pushed into a corner where I would lower my head and just hear these awful words from other people. So I did it to myself first, hoping that everyone would back away and leave me alone. But it didn’t work and they continued to fight me deeper into a corner. It was only then that I realized I allowed it to happen because I was doing it to myself first. I was giving them an extended invitation to do it because I was fine hurting my own heart. When I realized this, I cried even harder because it hurt worse than I thought and I didn’t know how to heal from it.
People can be cruel in their words and their intentions when it comes to you and the life you live. Sometimes, the position you are in, was one you could not control and while you are fighting to stay afloat, they are beating you down further. I have learned to pull myself out from those who hurt me with an intent to make sure I drown and set myself in a place where their words can no longer hurt me. I removed myself completely from their life, shocking them to the core that I could do that. Because to them, they believed I needed them to LIVE, to THRIVE, to SMILE. They were wrong. I don’t need them but their need for me will always be asked about in the back of their mind.
You are a warrior, I want you to know that, I want you to remember that. You don’t need to abide by the cruelty that others give to you and live by the rules they set for you. Don’t chase after someone’s fake kindness because you feel you have no one. You have someone greater than they will ever know: YOURSELF. Be your own light and shine so bright that they will wonder how they can ever extinguish it. They are living with their own demons that you don’t need to worry or touch upon. You just work on becoming the person they can never be.
