“Hurt me.” My mouth brushed her chin and higher over her lips.
“Hurt me.” She said it harsher this time. I gripped her waist and turned her around, pressing her into the wall, her wrists still above her head, my body caging her. I was already painfully hard. The hand that wasn’t holding her wrists moved under her satin robe, and I found her bare beneath. I exhaled against her neck then bit down lightly, causing her to shudder. My fingers moved to her flat belly then lower to the trimmed curls until I dipped between her folds. “Hurt me, Jungkook!”
“I will, Queen. Patience is a virtue. Don’t you remember?” My fingers slid deeper.
She wasn’t wet like she’d been yesterday, just barely aroused, mostly broken and desperate to exchange one form of pain for another. I unbuckled my belt and took out my cock before easing it between her beautiful firm ass cheeks. Her breath caught but I dipped lower to her pussy. She was tense as a fist against my tip, sore, braced for the pain.
I didn’t push in. Instead my fingers started playing with her pussy, light, teasing, coaxing touches. Nothing like what she wanted.
“Why can’t you just hurt me?” she whispered, tilting her face sideways and upward.
Yes, why? My hands always gave pain readily.
I held her in place, arms raised above her head, her front pressed to the wall, my cock wedged between her thighs, and watched her cry. I claimed her mouth for a kiss, tasting her tears as my fingers stroked between her pussy lips. Soon I could feel her surrender. My fingers slipped through her wetness, and her pussy loosened against my tip. Using my foot I shifted her legs further apart then looked into her teary eyes as I eased into her. She winced and I kissed her mouth again, slow and languid, until I was sheathed in her up to my balls, my cock buried deep inside her.
“Now your patience will be rewarded, Queen.”
She smiled joylessly against my mouth, and I pulled all the way out of her then slammed back in. She gasped, her body coiling tight, trapped between my chest and the wall. Her pussy clenched mercilessly around me. I stroked her clit as I drove into her again. My body longed to go even harder, and so did she, but I held back not wanting to do any lasting damage.
Fuck.
What the fuck was Y/n doing to me?
Her eyes held mine as if she could find salvation there, but we were both damned, and I was dragging her closer to damnation every day.
My balls slapped against her with every thrust, and I was losing control, not just of my fucking dick but also of everything else. Y/n was still tight and her moans hesitant, pain stronger than pleasure. Claiming her mouth for a kiss, I abandoned control and came with a violent shudder.
She shivered in my hold as my cock twitched inside her. I pressed my forehead to hers, staying inside for a few moments. Her warm breath fanned over my lips, and finally I pulled out of her. Her whimper made me kiss her shoulder blade. Then I lifted her into my arms.
I carried her over to her bed and laid her down then pressed up to her back, and she let me. She was quiet. I ran my fingertips over her smooth arm. Her sweet scent mingled with mine and the muskiness of sex. The perfect mixture.
“And do you feel better? Did the pain help?” I murmured against her shoulder blade as I kissed it again. I wasn’t sure why I felt the urge to kiss her like that, but I simply could not stop.
“No,” she said quietly.
“I could have told you that.”
“You know all about pain and its effects, don’t you?”
“I don’t think one person can ever know everything about pain. Everyone feels pain differently, reacts differently. It’s a curious thing.” Y/n’s body loosened further in my embrace. “I think I prefer pain. It doesn’t make me feel as guilty as pleasure does.”
I buried my nose in her hair. “You have no reason to feel guilty.”
She didn’t say anything and eventually her breathing evened out. I lifted my head carefully and found her asleep. Her pale lashes fluttered, her face peaceful. I’d never understood the appeal of watching someone sleep, had always found it dull, lacking. I had been so fucking wrong.
I kept stroking her arm then kissed her skin again. Fuck. How was I going to give her back?
I rested my head back on the pillow. I wasn’t tired despite the long night I’d had, but I couldn’t bring myself to get up with Y/n in my arms.
Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to relax. I had fallen into a light slumber when Y/n stirred, jerking me awake. She stiffened in my hold.
“It’s strange when your nightmares are less horrendous than reality,” she whispered.
“I’ve lived it, Queen. It makes you stronger.”
“I wished you had taken me on the first day, back in that basement on that dirty mattress like the whore that I am.”
The words ripped from her throat as if every syllable was pure agony.
I tensed, turning her around to me, feeling so fucking angry. For an instant, Y/n shrank back from the force of my fury, but then she met my gaze. She lay unmoving on her side, eyes full of anguish.
“You aren’t a whore. Is your fucking virginity all that matters to your family?”
“It’s not just that I’m not a virgin anymore,” she whispered. “It’s to whom I lost it to. They won’t understand. They won’t forgive. They will hate me for what I’ve done.”
“Shouldn’t they be relieved that you didn’t suffer through pain and humiliation? You succumbed to pleasure. So what? All of them have sinned worse than that, even your brother, particularly your fiancé. What right do they have to judge you?”
She blinked slowly. Then she surprised me by leaning forward and kissing me. A soft kiss. A soft nothing that felt like fucking everything. My brows drew together, trying to gauge her mood.
“I’m lost, Jungkook.”
I cradled her head and kissed her again before I rasped, “My note said that I ripped your innocence from you, that you fought me like a spitfire and that I enjoyed every second of breaking you.”
She held her breath, searching my eyes. “You made it sound like you raped me.” She swallowed. “Why did you lie? Was it because it would hurt my family worse?”