Chapter 1 — break-up boy
I’m sorry, Valerie. I can’t do this anymore, we’re over.
Josh finally hits the send button before he can chicken out again and switches off his phone right after.
He absolutely has no idea what he is doing.
He just broke up with his girlfriend of two years — over a text.
Valerie is more than just a girlfriend to him actually. She is one of his best friends; Josh doesn’t have a lot of those, to be frank, and he’s sure he has only made the circle of people close to him smaller by sending off that stupid text.
But it really doesn’t matter now, does it?
Josh has sent off the text. And the most important point of all, he is standing at the edge of a bridge contemplating to, well, jump off it.
The least he can do right now is tie the loose strings he is going to leave behind and finally be honest with not only himself but those who knows– no, knew him.
Although Valerie has been Josh’s girlfriend for about two years now, Josh has never actually liked her — not in that way at least. He’s only ever seen her as a best friend, and nothing more.
To start from the beginning of their relationship, Valerie moved to Willowcreeks a few years back. She was the ‘new girl’ and in a small place like ‘Willowcreeks’ where everyone knows everyone, Valerie particularly stood out. She has a twin brother, but he likes to keep to himself most of the times and so that left Valerie alone by herself.
Josh has never been keen on talking to new people really, but since he is the golden boy and both of them are of the same age, it fell upon his shoulders to introduce Valerie to their little town and all their customs.
Josh, of course, wasn’t too eager of the prospect, but it wasn’t long before he took a liking to the new girl. Valerie has a very demanding personality, and although Josh usually don’t care for bossy people, he was pleasantly surprised when he found out just how much he started caring for the girl.
Valerie is not too bad on the eyes either. Light brown skin that shows off her Indian heritage, velvety brown eyes, full nose and lips, curvy body (she tends to think she is fat, which is not the case at all). She is pretty, really, but still Josh can never look at her as more than a friend.
The only reason he even made that unnecessary leap of changing their relationship from friends to something more is because of all the building stress and pressure around him.
Those two are just made for each other.
Oh, look at how perfect they are.
They are meant to be together.
It came to a point where Josh couldn’t ignore what was said anymore, and it developed into something impossible when he realised that Valerie might have started to like him more as well. She never explicitly said anything but Josh could see the change in her actions and behaviour.
Holding his hands whenever possible, lingering kisses on his cheek, blushing at statements that never seemed to bother her before.
As if to add fuel the fire, it certainly didn’t help when Josh’s father, Martin began dropping hints that his son should go out with Valerie; how being in a steady, healthy relationship would showcase him as a ‘kind, loving young man’.
Josh felt like he had no choice but to ask Valerie out, although he was very much aware he was not only risking his own happiness but also his friendship with the girl. Somehow, behaving according to all the expectations upon him seemed much more important to him than anything else.
Josh didn’t realise how much a big, stupid mistake he was making at the time. He didn’t think there would be much of a difference to being a boyfriend than a friend. He also thought that maybe as time he would grow to like her as more than a friend.
Spoiler alert (if it wasn’t already apparent by now), he didn’t.
Two years has passed by like a swift wind, but Josh’s feelings for Valerie remains very much unchanged — he still thought of her only as a friend. No matter how much he tries, he just can’t procure the slightest romantic feelings for the girl.
Leading her on has to be one of the things Josh regretted the most in his life. Valerie has been nothing short of a good friend to him, and Josh has just, without much of a second thought, turned his back on her, dragging her along on his act to be the perfect golden boy.
He doesn’t even know when it began to matter to him so much — to play along to other’s expectations and to be the golden boy of their town. He can recall though that he has always sought for his father’s approval in everything that he does, always wanted to make his father proud.
However, Martin is not an easy man to please. No matter what his son does, how much of a big competition he wins, Martin can never be satisfied — he will always be able to point out one error or other, saying that Josh could have done better.
Josh has never quite felt good enough with his father, and although he is aware that he is actually doing his well best, it never stopped him from trying even harder to prove himself to his father. In the end, it has only left Josh feeling inadequate and terribly worn out.
All summer long, when all his friends and schoolmates had been lazing around, going on vacations, doing absolutely nothing, and just enjoying their free time, Josh volunteered to work at the hospital his father worked in. It was, of course, in accordance to his father’s wishes — the elder man told his son that it would be a good experience for his son and that it would be a good stepping stone in his path to becoming a doctor just like him.
All Josh wanted to do right then was to yell at his father that he doesn’t want to become a doctor, that isn’t his dream — it has never been.
Josh’s life, simply put, doesn’t seem like his anymore. He feels as if he has no control over any aspect of his life any longer. He feels like a mere puppet all the strings controlled by none other than his own father. And the strings are starting to feel a little too constricting that Josh doesn’t think he can bear it any longer.
That is part of the reason Josh has sneaked out to the bridge that night. He always visits that particular bridge when he’s feeling down in the dumps and spends some time by himself, but on that night, he has a different purpose. He aims to regain at least a semblance of control in his life.
Josh can’t live his life the way he wants, but maybe he can at least end it as he sees fit.
Taking in a deep shaky breath, the blond looks around him to check if there were any onlookers — there aren’t any. That isn’t surprising considering it is almost midnight, and to top that off, Josh is at the abandoned area of Willowcreeks, or more commonly known as the Darkside.
Josh feels the name is a bit much really.
The Darkside used to be very much a functional part of Willowcreeks but there was a little ‘accident’ that happened a few decades back in the area and ever since it has been referred to as the Darkside — a young boy jumped off the very bridge to his own death.
There is even a belief that the boy is still haunting the bridge. The notion is so strong that the bridge that was supposed to be built across Darkside remains unconstructed — all the architects that were hired complained about ‘seeing white figures’ or ‘hearing odd sounds’ and packed their bags within weeks.
And so, the bridge only goes halfway.
There are no ghosts there. Josh has been going to the bridge for a couple of years now and he has never seen any ‘white figures’ or heard any noises.
However, the superstitious belief works well for him since the bridge remains some kind of a prohibited place in their town and that gives Josh lots of privacy whenever he goes by the bridge.
Pulling on the hoodie cap over his head to better cover his face although there is no one around to see him, Josh climbs over the railings and crosses into the apparently ‘haunted’ area. Although the area is forbidden, there are still a few lampposts that line the half-built bridge, so it’s not completely hidden from sight and Josh can still see where he’s heading to.
Josh stops in his tracks, his heart thumping wildly within his chest cavity, the stark realization of what he is planning to do occupying him. He contemplates turning back, returning to his house and locking himself in the safe confines of his room. However, he can’t; not when memories of what pushed him here in the first place flooding his mind.
You have to be the best version of yourself, Joshua.
His father’s voice invades his thoughts.
You have to keep the good name and image of yourself and our family. It’s important.
Shortly after more voices joins alongside his father’s.
Oh, Josh, aren’t you just perfect.
You’re the best, Joshua.
Without even realizing it, Josh has made his way up right to the edge of the bridge.
Just one more little step forward, and everything will come to a neat end. Nothing can possibly matter anymore. Just one little step, he won’t have to be perfect anymore. Just one little step, he–
“What are you doing?”
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