In case you didn’t know, Fistbump the Sky is not a planet made from rocks, but a cake made from baking ingredients and botanical seeds, strapped to the back of its creator- the Great Frog. As such, it does not spin on its own axis but moves through the universe and its various solar systems. This, of course, made it difficult to find a constant with which to determine time.
Luckily, the Interstellan Astrologers realised they could measure the passing of time, and the Great Frog, using the positions of the three suns. For example, the combination Pink - Blue - Green indicates that the Great Frog is moving forward, while Green - Blue - Pink indicates that the Great Frog has turned around. Thus, the three suns served as indicators of a time cycle's completion, much like a year on Earth has a beginning and an end.
These cycles were split into the number of planets the Great Frog crossed before returning to the pink sun. A planet's time was then chopped into “days” that began once the sun(s) lit up the sky and “nights” that took over once the sun(s) retreated. Days and nights were in turn divided into smaller periods called “breathers”, with one breather consisting of five "breaths". This peculiar time measurement is possible thanks to sheer luck and the invention of the Self-Sufficient Calendars.
The Interstellar astronomers discovered they could carve crystal blocks from star-infused sand, which they used to share everything the stars observed with their world’s creatures. They organised this information by which suns were close to Fistbump the Sky, how long they were near a new planet, and the related weather changes. To ensure accuracy, the astronomers fused a piece of one of the Great Frog’s eyelashes they had found years ago, which helped them determine their location in the vast universe. Many consider these calendars one of Fistbump the Sky’s greatest technological marvels, and rightfully so.
According to the current combination of Pink - Blue - Green suns, our current cycle will have us moving forward once again. Fortunately for us, the suns' heat is evenly distributed, since the pink sun is the only true source of light and heat. The blue sun, as you might recall, only warms plant life, while the green one only produces light. You can expect mild weather during this time, but please remember to protect your eyes as we near the stage of all three suns.
PLANET EARTH
The first planet we can expect to pass is Earth. According to its inhabitants, Earth consists of a rock surface covered in large masses of water. It is said to spin on a tilted axis and rotate by the force of love or money, depending on who you ask. The Great Frog should take approximately ten days to pass this planet.
We can expect comfortable weather during these ten days. However, please secure yourself and any important belongings during this time to counter the planet's gravitational force.
PLANET SPOT
We project to leave Earth’s solar system and meet the second planet once we enter the Simplicity Galaxy. We have yet to find evidence of life on this planet, intelligent or not. Until we do, we will refer to this planet as Spot after its only recognisable feature.
Thankfully, it has less gravitational force than Earth. Bursts of light rain can be expected during the fifty days it will take the Great Frog to pass the planet.
PLANET JUPE
According to the stars, Jupe will be the third planet we will pass in the Simplicity Galaxy. Jupe’s centre is believed to be destructive lava sealed in a thick layer of jelly-like substance. Jupe could likely be our neighbour for either fifteen days or thirty, depending on whether the Great Frog remembers our plea to be as far away from Jupe as possible.
Please refrain from going outside during these nights. As we know, Jupe's peculiar jelly-like surface tends to interfere with our biological structures, turning unsuspecting creatures into sludge.
PLANET DUDH
The milk planet will be our fourth galactic neighbour for approximately sixty days. Creatures planning on exploring Dudh should remember not to bring any part of the milk planet to Fistbump the Sky. This will help avoid the water pollution we experienced last time. Expect frigid temperatures, along with a faint scent of cheese in the air during these sixty days.
PLANETS YIN AND YANG
Upon leaving the Simplicity Galaxy, we will be making our way between the twin planets, Yin and Yang. This will be our first time coming into contact with both. As there is still no way of knowing whether one planet will cancel out the effects of its twin, we must consider the possibility of experiencing the effects of both. As such, all creatures are ordered to reach higher ground in case of floods and keep a watchful eye on any emotional fluctuations in yourself and loved ones during these five days.
PLANET BLOOM
The last planet we can expect as we near the end of the cycle. A true blessing, creatures can expect the usual enhanced plant growth during the forty days we will be moving next to the benign planet. To avoid embarrassing disasters, creatures prone to frequent baths are politely reminded to dry themselves thoroughly to prevent moss or other growth covering their bodies.
We have still not detected any life forms on Bloom, but we remain hopeful. After all, how can a planet that enhances life not have its own?
THE DARK TIME
Once we leave planet Bloom, we will immediately enter the Dark Time. As you know, we will be surrounded by darkness until the Great Frog makes his holy return to the three suns. Without other planets or suns, we can expect deadly cold temperatures and a rise in insanity. We are still unclear on how many days the Dark Time will last. Despite the emptiness surrounding us, we will not be alone. As always, the stars have promised to guide our creator back to the three suns. We thus ask that everyone remember to thank the stars properly on Star Day before we enter the Dark Time.
Thank you for reading the calendar and may it help you prepare accordingly.