“Men are not gentle, friendly creatures wishing for love, who simply defend themselves if attacked… A powerful desire for aggression has to be reckoned as part of their … endowment.” -Sigmund Freud
One must incorporate a certain level of selective honesty into their life. This can range from telling a white lie or refraining from telling someone that their baby is ugly.
Being deceitful and negative will often lead to one’s demise. Perhaps, even imprisonment. There is a balance to life. By being intentionally hurtful one ends up shooting themselves in the foot. To avoid harming others one can practice using boundaries. At times it is wise to use selective honesty. In these circumstances, one should refrain from sharing too much information.
Understand, most people will believe just about anything that one tells them if they say it with enough confidence. One of the best ways to get people to buy into one’s ideas is to support one’s cause with religious fervor. This is because people tend to assume that when one quotes God's word, they practice Christian goodness. Be careful of these types more often than not those that preach the most are the least faithful.
If one develops an air of humility, even saintliness others will be naturally drawn to their influence. One should learn to recognize that people largely judge others by appearances. The word of God can be used to create an air of saintliness. The important part is that one must truly believe in what they are preaching. This can help one take control of a dynamic by adopting the appropriate persona. To achieve this one must avoid any indication of hypocrisy or superiority. A true Christian will never have to worry about coming as superior because their air of saintliness is natural.
We are divided by our differences, but we are united through our common humanity. We all come from different places, but that is what makes us special one must seek to understand others and see our differences to establish common ground.
If one does not recognize that on one hand we are cut from the same cloth and on the other hand that our differences unite us then they will end up shooting themselves in the foot.
Understand, humility is about doing the right thing without saying anything. One must learn to adopt a generous attitude toward themselves and others, others will feel drawn to them and will want to match their generous spirit. One becomes more attractive in others’ eyes by carrying even just one act of generosity. A humble act of selflessness can completely change the way we feel about someone.
Remember, humility is one of the rarest things to find in a human being. One can never be Jesus Christ, but the more that one imitates him the more followers one will gain.
An example, of generosity, is buying a cup of coffee and leaving it on a coworker’s desk. The important part is to do it without saying anything. More often than not others will want to return the favor. This same approach can be applied to something such as a simple gift or a token of appreciation. The key is to be intentional. One should learn to cater their generosity to the specific persona.
Remember, one can be too humble. At some point, one must begin to embrace their Shadow side and integrate it into their personality. By doing so, one will become a more complete human and they will radiate an authenticity that will draw people to them.
One of the key problems that plagued Joan Crawford was her passivity. There is a difference between passivity and assertiveness. An easy way to get out of one’s comfort zone is to just act. One does not have to be afraid to ask for what one wants. All one must do is make a move. So long as one’s intentions behind their actions are good the outcomes will typically be good. All one needs to do is believe in themselves.
Authenticity can be maintained by continually cycling between one’s imagination and others’ feedback. Others will provide one with critical feedback to prevent one from becoming delusional. By surrounding oneself with other authentic individuals one will develop a sense of self that will be both unique and connected. This is the perfect blend for standing out in today’s society.
Understand, working in a vacuum leads to stagnation. Great ideas are developed to their fullest potential when one shares them with a diverse group. When one accepts their feedback and iterates on their original idea then the idea evolves into something new. The key step in this process is to invite feedback from wiser individuals. The important part is that one must be willing to accept criticism.
A key step is developing something that connects with people on a human level. Is to follow the creative process. The creative process consists of taking in feedback and then producing a result. One must iterate on their original idea in order for any improvement to take place. One must practice cycling back through their work with new ideas. This will help one improve the overall picture of the problem that they are trying to solve.
Remember, listening to others provides a two-fold benefit. First listening intently draws other people into one’s sphere of influence. Second, it is critical for following the creative process. If one exudes this attitude, others will feel it, and they will be drawn to one’s influence since it is rare to encounter a person who is so sensitive to people’s feedback. This is because few people actually take the time to listen to others. When one seeks to understand where other people are coming from then others will become naturally drawn to their influence.