[T/N] I apologize for grammar mistakes and incoherencies
Chapter 74: <1001> #2.
“The studio that I mentioned before, they sent a sample for some parts. Is it okay if we try listening to it?”
“I already gave you rights to handle the sound, you can handle it.”
Jaeyoung researched a lot about music, looking for examples from various websites and asking acquaintances. The studio that was mentioned was a friend who had just formed a band and had not yet been certified, but everyone heard that they were all talented.
“Hello. Mister President, right? I really liked the sample you sent me yesterday, so I wanted to discuss the details with you. Is that okay? Oh, anytime is fine? If that’s the case, I’ll go out now. I’m not going alone. I’m going with my business partner. We’ll meet in about half an hour.”
Jaeyoung spoke his mind and said he would take Sangwoo with him. Although Sangwoo had a schedule planned in his mind, he closed his laptop and picked up his charger without saying anything. In fact, Jaeyoung could go alone, but he liked the way the other person called him. So, Sangwoo decided to go with him.
After finishing packing, Jaeyoung came closer and patted Sangwoo’s shoulder.
“Shall we go then?”
That word... Can you say it again?”
“What?”
“The word you called me when we talked on the phone.”
“What was it?”
“Golden fish brain... If you can’t remember, it’s okay.”
“What? I want to hear words like mine, darling, or something like that.”
‘This crazy guy.’
Jaeyoung glanced at Sangwoo’s face before jokingly saying that it was just a joke. However, the other person said it without realizing what it meant.
Sangwoo quickly walked down the stairs, still feeling embarrassed.
The studio was located in Yeonseokdong. Although it used to be a lively business district with many foreigners living there, there were still narrow alleys that were dark and unsafe. Jaeyoung spoke up, enduring the discomfort.
“Everything is great here, except for the difficult parking situation.”
“Why did you bring the car? Your eyesight isn’t very good.”
“I’m wearing contact lenses and it’s fine. If I want to go have dinner with you and go for a drive, I need a car.”
“The job is very clear.”
“If we’re not going on a trip, at least we should go for a drive together, right? It’s about having the right attitude.”
Jaeyoung complained before calling the studio owner. After a few words, he hung up and it seemed like he heard the response to look for a spot on the side of the road and park wherever possible.
Jaeyoung took out a contact card from the console and placed it before getting out of the car. Sangwoo followed the other side up the stairs made of steel.
“Are you Jaeyoung?”
“Yes. Hello.”
“Oh, Seungyong said you were good-looking. You really are. And it must have been a difficult journey.”
When they opened the door, the thick-bearded man greeted Jaeyoung with a smile. He was a burly man, wearing a gold necklace around his neck. He shook hands with Jaeyoung before turning to find Sangwoo. Jaeyoung pointed his thumb towards Sangwoo and spoke.
“He’s the game developer.”
The young man is talented. Please come in.”
Sangwoo emphasized that he was a business partner, not a young man. He didn’t say it to be funny, but Jaeyoung burst out laughing, and the bearded man smiled too.
The other side said that they weren’t experts in game music. There were posters of hip-hop singers and postcards designed as souvenirs on the walls, almost confirming the words of the owner. The interior of the building was well-decorated, unlike the dilapidated exterior. This made Sangwoo feel a little more confident, and they started the meeting in a room with three monitors and two synthesizers. The studio owner introduced his previous work on the game before playing a looped song that he thought would fit well with the action game.
“These days, it’s trendy to add variation [1]to the game music to avoid repetition. I tried to choose a song that would fit well with the action game.
What do you think?”
Jaeyoung sat quietly and looked at Sangwoo before he started to give his opinion.
“I like song number 2. Even though it uses short, repetitive chords that are different from the trend you mentioned, it’s often found in games from the past. However, if you speed up the tempo by 1.3, it would be great.”
“Please follow my business partnership plan. And I want the atmosphere to be intense, like what you see in the plan. Our game concept is quite exciting.”
Jaeyoung hadn’t finished speaking yet when the studio owner played the original song again and immediately adjusted it in the program. Then he increased the tempo and lowered the tone to make it a completely different song, with a deep and haunting melody. Jaeyoung hugged his chest and laughed.
“You’re really good at this.”
“That’s great. It’s easy to understand. If so, the BGM should have this mood.
I’ll try to make a loop of eight or sixteen bars.”
While they were talking, the door suddenly opened and a tall, thin woman came in holding a tray with three cups of coffee. She then placed them in front of them, and the coffee still had steam rising from it. The studio owner leaned back in his chair with an incredulous look on his face.
Normally, we don’t have this kind of thing. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t ask the staff to do this.”
“If there are guests, we can welcome them. Hello, are you a singer from the
Rif project?”
The woman looked at the studio owner and smiled, then greeted Sangwoo and Jaeyoung. Sangwoo shook his head slightly, while Jaeyoung said, “Hello.”
“The action game development team I mentioned yesterday, they’re friends of Seungyong. This is Yoonhee, our songwriter.”
“Oh, that mobile game!”
The songwriter stood there stubbornly holding the tray, and the oppressive silence continued for a moment before the studio owner finally spoke up and asked her to sit down instead of standing like that. At that moment, Jaeyoung’s phone rang.
“I’m sorry. Excuse me for a moment...”
The other person on the phone answered a few words and then hung up.
Then he frowned.
“Some uncle I don’t know called to complain and asked me to take the car out.”
“He’s being difficult and not getting to the point. He usually doesn’t say anything, but he’s in a bad mood today. It might be a bit far, but turn right at the fourth intersection and there’s a paid parking lot. Let’s go park there.”
“Talk to the boss first... Sangwoo-ya.”
Jaeyoung got up and lightly patted Sangwoo’s shoulder before walking out. In the room, only Sangwoo, the owner of the studio, and the 3 songwriters remained. One of the songwriters immediately took Jaeyoung’s place and asked the studio owner,
“Who was that?”
“I already told you, he’s a friend of Seungyong’s.”
“What does he do, is he a model?”
“He’s a graphic design student, I heard.”
“A student, huh.”
The studio owner pulled his chair over to the computer and brought up the plan for “Veggie-Venturer” on the screen.
“Doesn’t look like the work of a student, does it?”
“Did he make this himself?”
Wow, it looks like a low-budget indie game.”
“That student is just all talk, his skills are at a pro level.”
Sangwoo pretended not to care, but in reality, he was listening to the entire conversation. Jaeyoung’s words filled him with pride because the designer he chose was not just anyone, but himself. And because he was a business partner who made the other party’s imagination come true.
The studio owner sipped his coffee and looked at the plan carefully before asking.
“Sangwoo, how many people are on your team?”
“Two people.”
They exchanged glances, making Sangwoo feel like showing off, wanting to announce that he was the planner and developer of “Veggie-Venturer” and worked with designer Jang Jaeyoung, who made this plan a reality.
“Students these days are really talented. When I was a student, all I did was drink.”
The studio owner laughed and returned to the reception desk. Suddenly, the songwriter who was staring at the monitor turned her attention to Sangwoo.
“Um... does that guy have a girlfriend?”
The studio owner chuckled and said, “Why are you asking me?”
The female songwriter’s eyes widened and she looked at Sangwoo. Although he didn’t want to answer anything, the woman still waited for an answer.
“No, he doesn’t.”
“Really? I thought he must have one already! Oh, why did I dress so casually today? What should I do?”
“Whatever you do, invite him to have a meal with us.”
“But he’s younger than you! If he’s the same generation as Seungyong, how old is he? Twenty-six... or twenty-seven? Crazy... If I stand next to him, will I look old?”
“Why speak like that? It’s pointless.”
The studio owner laughed and seemed to be having fun. The red-faced songwriter held her cheeks and talked non-stop. They didn’t do anything wrong, but it made Sangwoo very upset. He thought about muting both of their voices.
“You’ve been sitting on the bridge all this time, why don’t you try inviting him to talk after the meeting? Say that you fell in love at first sight, who wouldn’t like that?”
“How can we do that? He might be uncomfortable.”
“Wait a minute. I didn’t know there was a corner like this. Normally, you’re very confident in yourself.”
The studio owner laughed and turned to Sangwoo.
And what do you want me to do? Just as Sangwoo was about to respond sharply, a loud ringing sound came from the entrance door of the studio. A young, energetic songwriter stood up and quickly spoke to the owner of the studio.
“I’m too excited to stay still. I’ll excuse myself first.”
The girl then left the room, and not long after, Jaeyoung came back and sat down next to Sangwoo.
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, I just had a question about the game.”
“Chu Sangwoo, explain it clearly.”
“Oh, of course. We can solve the problem because of you, Sangwoo.”
‘Liar.’
While Sangwoo was staring at the studio owner, the meeting continued for about fifteen minutes. They talked about the song, delivery schedules, and fees, and even copyright issues, but Sangwoo didn’t feel excited at all.
The thick clouds that were difficult to understand covered Sangwoo’s sky, so he couldn’t meditate. He tried to remember the face of the songwriter, but it wasn’t easy. Was she pretty? If she invited Jaeyoung to have a meal, how would he react? She might be able to become Jaeyoung’s ‘new girlfriend’ because the man is currently single. ‘I feel bad.’
His heart was beating fast, but at the same time, he felt dissatisfied. Jaeyoung used his elbow to nudge him and asked for his opinion on something, but Sangwoo didn’t listen, so he didn’t know what to say.
“It’s strange, why are you so quiet?”
“Normally, Sangwoo isn’t a quiet person, right?”
“Don’t speak. Normally, he’s very fidgety, but it seems like he’s satisfied with all of your conditions, President. “
Jaeyoung patted Sangwoo’s shoulder and lightly tapped his back, causing Sangwoo to feel uncomfortable and grab his arm.
Both of them let go of Sangwoo like that and agreed to discuss the price before exchanging contracts. Jaeyoung signed his name with a signature like a worm and handed the paper and pen to Sangwoo. Sangwoo wrote his name in block letters under Jaeyoung’s name without reading any of the content.
“Don’t come complain later that I handled it alone.”
Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo slightly while speaking. It was surprising that at that time, Sangwoo didn’t care about the contract documents at all, his mind was only focused on the fact that the meeting had ended, and the studio owner kept one copy of the contract in an envelope and handed it to Jaeyoung.
“Veggie-Venturer, it should be a fun job.”
“As long as the quality comes out like our examples, we’re satisfied, but if we hear that it’s going to be even better, we don’t want anything else. “
“We’ll have to wait and see. Is the game still in development?”
“The big framework is done, but there are still some development issues.
Anyway, please take care of it, President.”
“Yes. If there are any changes, please call me. Goodbye.”
Jaeyoung stood up from his seat. While Sangwoo was still looking anxiously at the mirror on the door, he couldn’t see clearly outside.
“What are you doing? Get up.”
Sangwoo got up firmly and walked out through the door that Jaeyoung had left open. The area with the table and sofa had no trace of the songwriter, and they had to hurry out of here before she came out. Sangwoo walked ahead quickly.
“Not that way.”
Jaeyoung grabbed Sangwoo’s shoulder, who was about to twist the doorknob in the wrong direction, and turned him towards the opposite direction. As he was about to open the studio door and leave, the studio owner stopped them.
“Wait, Jaeyoung.”
“Yes?”
‘This is actually a somewhat personal matter…’
The other party smiled shyly and then pointed their finger towards the back and continued.
“My employee just told me that he likes you, Jaeyoung. It seems like you don’t have a girlfriend yet. If that’s the case, why don’t you come have dinner with us? You’re someone who’s easy to get along with.”
“What? That’s not really my business.”
Sangwoo glared at the owner of the studio with a fierce expression. The other party didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, but he suddenly became angry. Jaeyoung clearly stated that he would have dinner with Sangwoo, but it was just an empty promise. He wondered how much the other party who liked to do things on his own terms could be bound.
“Please apologize to her, but I’m already chatting with someone right now.”
However, Jaeyoung unexpectedly responded to Sangwoo’s question with a nonchalant attitude. Then he turned his gaze back to Sangwoo.
____________________________________.
[1] Variation. The part that deviates from the main melody.
Chapter 75: <1001> #3.
“What’s wrong with you just then?”
“...”
Jaeyoung opened the door and pushed Sangwoo out. Even while walking down the iron stairs, his heart was beating so fast that it couldn’t calm down.
Sangwoo stomped his foot hard on the ground.
“Look at your face. Don’t you like this studio?”
“No.”
“Then what’s wrong? At the end of the meeting, you seem distracted.”
“I don’t know.”
Sangwoo spoke directly, he was definitely dissatisfied with something, and he was definitely afraid of something. He felt worse because he knew it was covered up, and he spoke out in anger.
“The person you are chatting to, is it me?”
“Are you stupid or something?”
“Is it me?”
“We’re joking around, you have to give me time to go out before I can date anyone, I’m always busy with work, let’s go eat something first, I haven’t had dinner yet.”
“I already ate.”
“Then you can eat again.”
Jaeyoung caught Sangwoo who was walking fast and made him turn towards him. Sangwoo protested but still followed the other quietly on the main road, which was getting darker and covered with a lot of people. Loud music came from the clothing store, bar, and restaurants lined up along the street. Neon signs above the shopping district flickered and invited people to turn their heads.
“Do you like Mexican food?”
“I already told you that I’ve eaten.”
It seemed like Jaeyoung took that as a yes, because Sangwoo was already sitting quietly in the small taco shop on the second floor. The shop, run by two dark-skinned, curly-haired foreigners, was almost too cramped to walk in. They had to wait for more than ten minutes to order two dishes with strange names.
Sangwoo tried to sit still and calm down, but maybe it was because of the chaotic atmosphere that it wasn’t easy. In the narrow shop, there was a loud and exciting type of noise that had to be shouted to be heard. The two waiters only walked around and bumped into chairs while passing by. The water was quite warm, and the tables were sticky.
Sangwoo, who was fragile and restless, tried to find something to focus on, such as the odd number of tiles in the box, the creased tissue that wasn’t neatly folded, and the picture hanging crookedly on the wall. He didn’t like any of it, but what he disliked the most was people’s gaze.
In the cramped shop, the distance between tables was so close that you could clearly see what others were doing. It seemed like everyone was looking at Jaeyoung, including the women at the adjacent table, the order-taking staff, and the person standing up to pay. They all looked at Jaeyoung as if he were a fascinating toy.
Whether Jaeyoung knew or pretended not to know, he only used his hands, feet, and chin to stare at Sangwoo. When their eyes met, the other party spoke without a sound.
“Is there something you’re not satisfied with?”
“I’m not dissatisfied with anything.”
Sangwoo quickly looked down and felt that something was wrong, the desire to flip the table. Then he climbed up and sat on Jaeyoung’s lap, kissing the other heavily. If there were curtains, he would have wanted to hang them around to prevent anyone from seeing Jaeyoung. The inexplicable and twisted feeling was churning in his stomach. Sangwoo felt suffocated and had to drink water quickly.
“Carnitas Asada Tacos, and Enchiladas, here you go.”
Two dishes were placed on the narrow table. Although Sangwoo had already eaten dinner, he still picked up a spoon and put the food in his mouth. He chewed without knowing what it was before using a fork to pick up the white powder mixture, thinking it had a strong taste like Jaeyoung’s. He didn’t do anything wrong and used his teeth to grind it.
“Are you hungry?”
Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo while holding a fork in his hand. Sangwoo felt dissatisfied with that gaze, so he used the fork to poke the rolled-up powder like a Kimbab and cut it into large pieces. Then he handed it over to the other side without paying attention.
“What’s wrong?”
Jaeyoung slowly opened his mouth, but at the same time, he still looked suspicious. Sangwoo waited for the other side to finish eating and fed him again and again. He ate and fed alternately like that without stopping. The two dishes were finished in just thirteen minutes.
“Let’s hurry and go.”
Sangwoo breathed a little as he finished dealing with the food and wiped the seasoning stains on lips , leaving them in the cloth.
“Oh... I understand.”
Jaeyoung got up to pay for the meal. Meanwhile, Sangwoo went out to wait on the narrow, dark balcony. Then, as the other side came out onto the balcony, which was empty, he grabbed the other side’s shirt and fiercely kissed him without saying anything.
He sucked and pulled as if he was going to bite the other side’s lips and used his tongue to sweep all over the mouth without consciousness. In Jaeyoung’s mouth, it tasted spicy hot.
Sangwoo rushed in as if to swallow Jaeyoung, but that was the wrong way to solve the problem. Even if he used force, the frustration would still not go away.
He thought about pulling his lips away, but this time Jaeyoung refused to let him go. The other side used his arms to hug Sangwoo’s neck, leaned his head back, and kissed softly. His neck touched the cold wall without realizing it before his head was pushed in again. His heart beat fast, and it was difficult to distinguish whether it was due to pain or because of mutual feelings, as everything was mixed together, including anger and desire, salty and sweet taste.
Therefore, he was restless. Sangwoo couldn’t remember any advice, forgot even how to breathe, and could only hug the other side’s neck to support himself and remember the person in front of him.
“You are clearly dissatisfied with something.”
Jaeyoung whispered after the long kiss ended, his face red and his breathing heavy. Sangwoo didn’t know what to say.
“I have a disease that I can’t control.”
“This is the first time I’ve heard you speak so hesitantly.”
After picking up his hat and putting it on, he walked out. The sky was darker than before, and the half-moon shone high, making it seem like Jaeyoung knew the complex alleyways like his own home. In the dark path, there were both drunk people passing by and foreigners who took off their shirts and painted on their faces, after almost colliding with people who walked in the park from the opposite side several times. Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo’s shoulder like hugging a friend, but closer than that, and hugged him in his arms while walking forward.
They soon arrived at the parking lot. Jaeyoung instructed Sangwoo to wait in the car while he went to pay for the parking.
“Can I have your account number? I will transfer the money for the food, parking fee, and half of the studio contract.”
“Hold on.”
“Just tell me. I don’t want to go and withdraw the money.”
Jaeyoung ignored Sangwoo’s words and drove out of the parking lot. Sangwoo looked out of the dark window, feeling slightly better sitting in the quiet car after dealing with the chaotic and confusing place. It was already after work hours, and the streets were empty and quiet. Jaeyoung simply made a phone call through the speaker and played music without saying anything.
“Psychedel, Album 2, Pressure, Track 7, Downtempo.”
“Correct.”
The first song on Jaeyoung’s playlist was quite slow. Although he didn’t know what kind of music it was, Sangwoo felt that the low sound that echoed through the building was like a heartbeat. The slow electronic music helped calm his fluctuating emotions throughout the day, making him feel weak.
Sangwoo felt like he was floating in water, sinking into the seat. Then Jaeyoung turned up the volume.
Suddenly, the car was driving along the Han River, the water flowing gently with Sangwoo’s head unable to grasp it. The fifth song started playing as the car was driving on the bridge. Sangwoo opened the window and let the wind blow against his cheeks.
“Yoon Jisung, Album 1, Day and Night, Track 1, Temperature Difference.”
Although Jaeyoung didn’t say anything, Sangwoo already knew that it was the correct answer.
The car turned into the park and slowly stopped, the engine turning off along with the music and the sound of the engine.
From the parking lot of the park, the river was clearly visible. The main character of the picture was the curved bridge whose lower part was submerged in the water and shone white. The light reflected on the water’s surface like light from a light bulb, LED, flickering as if dancing every time the waves softly hit. The residential areas on both sides were connected by a bridge, shining orange in the dark as if refusing to be swallowed up by the darkness at night. Although Sangwoo had been living in Seoul for more than three years, he had never admired the night view of the river that blended with light and darkness.
“So beautiful.” [1]
Jaeyoung spoke up after a long silence, and it was so quiet that even the stars in the sky seemed to twinkle and shimmer. There were no visible stars, but everything else was illuminated.
“That’s right. It’s just because the eye’s pupils dilate more at night, allowing more light to enter.”
“No, I mean you, Sangwoo.”
Jaeyoung’s stoic face slowly revealed a smile as he looked at Sangwoo. Sangwoo quickly averted his gaze. When he lifted his hand to touch his cheek, he felt the warmth. Although he had heard compliments about his looks from adults when he went to visit relatives, the word “beautiful” was something he had never heard before in his life.
‘You, hyung are more beautiful than anyone else.’
Sangwoo contemplated in his heart, perhaps because of this, the person who had just met for the first time wanted to start a conversation. The people around him just stared, their mouths agape. Typically, Sangwoo would be working with Jaeyoung in the same room. Therefore, he didn’t know much about what the other party did when they were outside. Previously, he didn’t need to pay attention to or care about such matters at all..
‘I feel uneasy.’
He felt like he had opened a door to a room he shouldn’t have entered. He was filled with fear that something would happen in the darkness inside that would prevent him from returning to his previous state. The more he thought about it, the more afraid he became of how many people might like Jaeyoung. How many girlfriends the other person had, how many times had he driven other people here, and how many useless questions he wanted to know that constantly bothered Sangwoo’s mind.
“Now you can tell me what you’re dissatisfied with.” Jaeyoung’s voice shattered the silence.
“I’m not dissatisfied.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I said I’m not.”
“You’re clearly dissatisfied.”
Sangwoo frowned, feeling a strange feeling he wasn’t used to. Normally, just seeing the other person’s face would make him feel better, but today he just felt uneasy. Sangwoo sat up straight again and turned his face to the left [2].
He was met with a stoic face he hadn’t seen in a long time, with tired eyes that showed no hint of playfulness, and lips that were straight to the point where it was impossible to guess what the person next to him was thinking.
The other party’s hand moved closer to his eyes, and the wing of his hat turned to the side before pressing down on his shoulder.
“Sangwooya.”
Jaeyoung stared at Sangwoo with a sly expression. Sangwoo didn’t say anything, just looked back at the other party, his lips inviting him to take a deep breath before speaking softly.
“Are you angry about being held up at work?”
“No.”
“If you’re not satisfied with something, just say it, I’ll know.”
“There’s nothing.”
As he answered directly, Jaeyoung frowned slightly, his eyes wandering over Sangwoo’s face, considering whether what he heard was true or not. The other party’s gaze was so heavy and warm that he thought his cheeks were being touched, and Sangwoo’s heart felt suffocated.
“The studio, are you going back there?”
“No? We agreed to send the work by email.”
“The people at the restaurant were all looking at you.”
“So what? I didn’t feel anything.”
“Hyung, are you a flirt?”
“Not really.”
“How many people have you dated until now?”
“Five thousand people.”
‘It had to be like this.’
Suddenly, the attitude shifted to a teasing, causing Sangwoo, who was speaking seriously, to become angry again. Someone who digressed, spoke incoherently, and joked endlessly. He knew Jang Jaeyoung better than three months, so he knew the other party’s tricks well. Jaeyoung laughed silently and hugged Sangwoo’s shoulder. Sangwoo inadvertently held his breath. He didn’t understand why the other party would act like that all of a sudden. Jaeyoung rested his chin on his forehead and spoke up.
“The vacuum cleaner robot is annoying, and there are a lot of firmware developments.”
‘Are you jealous?’
____________________________________.
[1] “It’s beautiful.” The original Korean uses the word “이쁘다,” which means beautiful, cute, attractive, good-looking, and is a word that can be used to compliment both women and men.
[2] and turned his face to the left, a Korean drove a car with a left-hand steering wheel.
Chapter 76: <1001> #4.
Sangwoo’s eyes flickered while he was in Jaeyoung’s embrace, and the feeling of annoyance was useless and something that was far from rational people like him. Besides, this wasn’t a situation where that word could be used.
“It’s not like that.”
“What is it then?”
“I said it’s not like that.”
“Oh, I see.”
Jaeyoung hugged Sangwoo tightly, causing the other person’s body temperature to rise above 36.5°C. In the midst of the heat, Sangwoo had a question in his head.
What did JangJaeyoung gain from overlooking a healthy woman who was ready to get married and instead pursue a relationship with him? He pondered for a moment, but couldn’t think of any reason other than the same one he had for himself. Jaeyoung easily stimulated Sangwoo’s sexual desire, and effectively relieved it. Sometimes, Sangwoo himself might have the same meaning for the other party.
“Hey, Jaeyoung.”
“Yes?”
“Why did you come to me?”
“There are many reasons, should I tell you all of them?”
“Sure.”
“First of all... you have a beautiful neck.”
The fingertip that used to stop behind Sangwoo’s ear traced down to his neck.
“You have a cute face. The more you smile, the cuter you are.” The hand gently held the side of Sangwoo’s cheek.
“You have fair skin, and your body is in great shape...”
“You like the outer shell. I understand.”
“Why are you so hot-headed? I just started. I could give you a hundred reasons.”
Jaeyoung lowered his hand. Sangwoo still wanted to bury his face on the other person’s shoulder, but Jaeyoung slowly held him back.
It seemed like the other party had something to say. In the midst of the darkness with a view of the night sky in the background, their eyes shone like stars. The big hand firmly held the back of his neck, not allowing him to look elsewhere. Then, the faint voice whispered in his ear.
“All of that is not necessary. There is only one main reason.”
“...”
“But if I tell you, you might run away. So, I can’t tell you.”
Sangwoo was very nervous for no reason, struggling to open his mouth.
“Please tell me.”
They didn’t do anything, just talked to each other, but their palms were sweaty instead of answering. Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo seriously, and then his face moved closer. The soft lips pressed against his forehead for a moment before sliding down to the left eyelid. Then, they moved to the right eyelid, followed by both cheeks, and the destination was the corner of the lips.
Sangwoo anticipated a kiss would be followed by the removal of clothing, but Jaeyoung instead lingered with his lips pressed together before returning to his own spot. As he lifted his gaze once more, Sangwoo was met with a face that was difficult to read.
“Why won’t you just tell me?”
“I already answered.”
“I didn’t hear anything at all.”
“You’re such an idiot.”
Sangwoo had almost never heard words like these before, but today he had heard them twice. His eyes, now almost black from the shadow of the moon that was slowly setting, carefully surveyed Sangwoo’s face.
“Sangwooya.”
“What is it?”
“Why do you have to concern yourself with those things? It’s not appropriate for you. I’m stuck with you, and I know that as long as you’re sitting next to me, you’re mine and I yours.”
His already heated body burned even hotter in response to the lewd words. Sangwoo tried to find an answer to Jaeyoung’s question. Although he felt the desire that made his consciousness fade away, he knew that it was an important question that could not be overlooked.
The winner who took control of the control room in this war was sanity, the reason why in the studio he was not in a good mood, and the reason why at the restaurant he was so angry. Sangwoo quickly analyzed his own strange behavior and came up with a cause.
‘We often take out insurance to prepare for illness.’ He then looked at the gear and continued.
“You might find someone you like more than me. And you probably won’t see me again.”
As he spoke, the real body of dissatisfaction became clearer, and the anger he felt at the studio and the restaurant returned. At the same time, the desire slowly subsided.
“It’s normal, isn’t it, that I’m confused because I didn’t prepare myself to deal with that kind of situation?”
Jaeyoung looked at Sangwoo with a neutral expression, and there was a moment of silence before the other side responded dryly.
“There’s a reason for what you are saying.”
The other side accepted it easily before moving a little closer to Sangwoo, placing his elbow on the armrest, and looking into his eyes with restraint. As he looked closely at Jaeyoung’s face, he realized that the other side was both alert and unemotional.
“So go ahead and tell me. ChuSangwoo, what do you want me to do?”
Jaeyoung asked a strange question with a slightly broken voice. Sangwoo looked at the trembling eyes of the other party with overwhelming emotions and almost answered that he wanted the other party to wear a mask when going somewhere, but fortunately, he restrained himself from violating human rights with rude language.
The brain that regained control began to analyze the situation ahead. Is there anything Jaeyoung did to him? The other party is someone who is about to leave in two months.
“Just focus on your work. As for dealing with me, I’ll find a way to handle it myself.”
Sangwoo returned calmly and confidently. Although the desire had become more intense than expected in recent days, he thought there must be a way if it was too difficult to overcome the spirit alone. He thought about seeking psychological counseling, receiving treatment for addiction, going to a temple, or trying to find something to do during the semester break.
Forty-two days have passed since he kissed Jaeyoung at the liquor store and started an inappropriate relationship. Although there were many ups and downs during that time, compared to the long life, it was just a short period of time, a small mistake that could be corrected someday. Sangwoo was a developer who was confident in debugging.
“Deal with it? Deal with what?”
At that moment, a cold voice pierced his ears. Sangwoo slipped out of his palace of thought-palace and turned to look at Jaeyoung, who had been staring at him.
“If the milk runs out, do you have to change your eating habits or go buy it from the supermarket yourself? It’s something I have to deal with myself.”
“Oh.”
Jaeyoung just laughed lightly, looked up at the ceiling as if he couldn’t say anything, and then turned back to look at Sangwoo again.
“Forget it, just like that pile of garbage.”
“What do you mean?”
Sangwoo frowned as he suddenly heard the curse word. Jaeyoung leaned back on the sofa and didn’t answer anything. His gaze that looked out the window was very scary, a hostile mode that he hadn’t seen in a long time.
Sangwoo looked at Jaeyoung who picked up a cigarette from his pants pocket and smoked it confusedly. He knew the other party was angry, but he couldn’t know what he did wrong.
“Are you angry?”
Instead of answering, Jaeyoung opened the window and exhaled cigarette smoke outside. Sangwoo looked at the cold face beside him and sighed. “Why are you angry at me?”
“What am I to you?”
“Why ask such a thing?”
“Why did you come to me then? No, it’s fine, you don’t have to answer.”
“Don’t just be angry like that. If I say something wrong, please let me know.”
“You’re right, you never say anything wrong.”
“So why are you angry?”
Jaeyoung didn’t answer, he opened the door forcefully and got out of the car to stand by the railing and smoke. Even after a long while, the other person’s gaze remained cold.
Jaeyoung started the car quietly and drove all the way to Sangwoo’s house, or until he got out of the car with his backpack. The other person still didn’t say a word.
return 0;.
Saturday, May 26th.
Jang Jaeyoung was really angry and didn’t show his face, even his phone that had never been silent before was this time. Sangwoo set the sound to be turned on, thinking that the other person might call, and even left the window open wide, hoping that the other person would come back suddenly and find out, but it was useless.
He tried to think of something good, so he could focus on his homework and work, but it wasn’t easy. His eyes just kept looking out the window. In his head, the image of a cold face kept popping up and wouldn’t go away.
“What did I do wrong?”
Before going to bed, Sangwoo tried to organize yesterday’s events with a diagram, but he couldn’t find the reason why Jaeyoung was angry. It seemed like the other person was starting to get angry while they were talking, but Sangwoo didn’t say anything dark or give any wrong information to the other person.
Jaeyoung had always been aggressive towards him in the past, so now, whatever he didn’t like about the other person, he would just ignore it and pretend not to see it, and why did he have to be so hesitant now? Sangwoo wondered about that and fell asleep.
return 0;.
Sunday, May 27th.
Continuing from Saturday, his productivity is now at its worst. Whenever someone is nearby, they distract him by playing, teasing, chatting, bothering, clinging, and tempting him every day. And suddenly, he is cut off, making it a problem.
Throughout the two days, Sangwoo feels like he is being tested, tested by setting conditions to check whether the familiar experimental subject will respond without stimulation or not, testing for adaptability to see if the experimental subject can maintain the same condition when the familiar variable is removed, and testing for resistance or withdrawal symptoms by removing the substance that the experimental subject seems to be addicted to and researching the side effects.
‘Miss you.’
The only conclusion is that Jang Jaeyoung has infiltrated his life too deeply.
Although he opened the Jang Jaeyoung folder and looked through it from beginning to end, it was not fruitful, and because he kept doing it, it was just a waste of time.
Whenever he has a meaningless thought, Sangwoo grits his teeth and focuses on his work even more. Although he can’t concentrate very well, since he has plenty of time, “09:00-24:00, excluding meal and three-hour break.” The amount of work he gets done is not bad, he finishes the group work in the morning and sends it to the members. Then in the afternoon, he successfully completed a major error correction. return 0;.
Monday, May 28th.
The next day, he read a book at the library for only two hours and went to the office room before the time arrived at 4:46 PM, but no one was there. Sangwoo worked on and off, and after a few hours, he couldn’t take it anymore. He called Jaeyoung, but the other party didn’t answer. He was in the office until 4 AM as usual, but the amount of work he got done was quite pitiful.
[Can you explain why you’re angry?_ 6:36 PM]
[Don’t you want to see me anymore?_ 7:41 PM.]
[But I miss you. Can we meet today?_ 9:00 PM.]
That night, Sangwoo couldn’t sleep and couldn’t separate his feelings from his thoughts, making everything chaotic. He used to not care about the past and couldn’t change it, or the present that was just an illusion. Sangwoo always looks towards the future.
‘I am stupid.’
It seems that going back and forth with Jaeyoung would make him forget himself. It’s strange that he doesn’t plan to deal with anything related to the near future. I don’t know why he doesn’t try to make a real hypothesis, imagine a situation where there’s no one to help alleviate his needs, think about the times when the other party is gone, simulate a situation where he can’t find what he needs no matter how much he looks for it.
Sangwoo’s life was destroyed and burned to ashes within just three days. Even though the fuel he used in his daily life was running out on time, why didn’t he prepare for such an important matter?
‘I am really stupid.’
Sangwoo tried to calculate the quantity of Jang Jaeyoung’s necessity, even if it was excessive. How many times do they have to kiss in a week, how many times do they have to have sex to fulfill their desires? Time passes by continuously during this period, but Sangwoo still can’t close his eyes. Then he discovered the truth that He met Jang Jaeyoung too often.
They have kissed more than 100 times.
They slept together and had the wildest of sex at home 4 times in 19 days.
The interval between the rounds he had to meet the other party was getting shorter and shorter.
And the limitation he found again was that
[The other party is going away in July.]
The quest to solve the sexual desire that should end in one attack has limited time. Sangwoo thinks there is not enough time to create a game, but he does not really think that the time to meet the other party is running out because they keep releasing their desires, so it is easy to think that when time passes, the symptoms will improve on their own. It is a hope that is like a superstitious ritual that lacks analysis and is illogical.
In the midst of darkness, Sangwoo felt a strong fear, he had to come up with a backup plan, but he felt so bad that he couldn’t come up with a good plan, his heart felt like it was being squeezed, he could only curl up under the blanket to make it deeper.
Sangwoo wants Jaeyoung, but Jaeyoung is not by his side, and what’s worse is that he is about to leave and go abroad. No matter how he tries to calm down and not be angry, someday in July, supply and demand will clash again. Sangwoo bears the strong remaining problem and decides to solve the problem in front of him first. He thought that today, no matter what, he would drag Jaeyoung out and ask him why he was angry.
return 0;.
Chapter 77: <1001> #5.
Tuesday, May 29th.
Although sleeping for five hours is a short period of time, it made Sangwoo feel much more relieved. When he woke up, he felt much better and was able to distinguish between the strong remaining problem and the small problem. He decided to solve the problem in front of him first. Sangwoo thought that today, no matter what, he would drag Jaeyoung out and ask him why he was angry.
[Can you tell me Jaeyoung’s address? _9:51.]
- [Choi Yoona, Graphic Design: I don’t know _11:23.]
- [Choi Yoona, Graphic Design: Why? What happened??? _11:40.]
[I don’t know, just asking. _12:01.]
Even though the first attempt failed.
Sangwoo intended to wait until half past six, which was the scheduled meeting time. If Jaeyoung did not show up, he would go to the faculty office to ask for the other party’s whereabouts. However, if the information was not provided due to privacy concerns, he would go to the Faculty of Fine Arts and Drama Club and ask everyone he met.
Sangwoo encouraged himself and picked out the clothes that Jaeyoung bought for him to wear, wearing a white hat on his head. He thought he looked strange reflected in the mirror in the bathroom, but he couldn’t help before he was ready. He thought he had to wait for Jaeyoung to come. If he wore clothes that the other party liked, it was highly possible to impress positively.
Although he bought these bright-colored jeans just right without trying them on, they were more attached to his body than regular clothes, so he had to be careful when riding a bike. The white T-shirt itself had a sharp-cut neck, giving a refreshing feeling.
Although he felt unnatural, he could adapt quickly. He attended two classes, ate, read books at the library for two hours, and headed to the office. By then, he had forgotten about the new outfit.
Jaeyoung’s seat was still empty today, but someone he didn’t know was searching for Yoona’s whereabouts instead. Sangwoo thought that the other party was not a thief, so he let it go like that. If it were a thief, he would have been surprised and would have run away as soon as the door opened. The woman in the long pants and navy suit turned her head to look before widening her eyes.
“Uh...what’s with you today? Why are you so cool?”
“Who are you?”
The woman with black hair tied in a ponytail.
“Chu Sangwoo, you’re doing too much.”
Sangwoo knew someone with a similar way of speaking and tone of voice, but the appearance of the woman in front of him did not match her.
“What are you looking at? Am I beautiful?”
The woman’s hair color, hairstyle, and clothing were all different, but above all, the lack of black eyeliner made them seem like completely different people.
“...Choi Yoona?”
“If you call me sunbae, will your mouth tear?”
The other party made a gesture like a villain and lightly touched Sangwoo’s arm, ending his suspicion. If it wasn’t her, no one would behave so rudely anymore. Sangwoo retreated and spoke.
“Please be careful about physical contact, and I already have an older sister.”
“Everyone calls older women unnie. That’s it.”
“But I don’t. I only use family terms with family members.”
“It’s funny, Jang Jaeyoung… you still calls him ‘hyung-nim’.”
“...”
Yoona smirked and laughed at Sangwoo. Sangwoo trembled and thought seriously to find a reason to refute the argument of the other party, but there was no reason that he could use, because the contradiction was within himself.
This was the first embarrassing defeat.
“Do you know where the person sitting here is?”
“How can I know where your hyung is?”
‘No need to ask.’
Sangwoo gritted his teeth and picked up his notebook, judging from Yoona’s frequent fidgeting. It seemed that she knew about their inappropriate relationship, and it was lucky that she just let it go. He didn’t insult or mock her, he just opened his game and focused on starting to work. The other party started chatting him up.
“Did you go shopping?”
Although his appearance looked more polite, his inner self did not change. The woman thought that the T-shirt was beautiful and flipped over to look at the brand label on the back of the shirt.
“Oh, we both spend money well. I thought of something and bought a new shirt.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You dress better than before.”
“Wow, very much.”
“Then it’s considered a success.”
Yoona hugged her chest and smiled, although her makeup style had changed, her smile remained the same.
“Are you doing this to look good in someone’s eyes?”
“Who else? You already know why, why ask again.”
“...”
Yoona sat down quietly in Jaeyoung’s seat and remained silent for a while. Sangwoo picked up his mobile phone to check, but there was still no contact from Jaeyoung. There was only a message from his sister asking for a laptop recommendation that was good, cheap, lightweight, and weighed only about one kilogram. He opened and read it, then evaluated it. There was no email from his designer in the inbox.
Sangwoo stared at the door, as if doing so would make Jaeyoung walk in.
“Are you two doing well lately?”
Yoona’s question made him lose his concentration. Sangwoo’s gaze shifted from the door to the email box that had no new emails.
“Not really.”
“Really? I thought you will get along fine.”
“No, failing is not an option.”
As he responded like that, he could feel the anger and stress that had been brewing inside him for several days becoming more apparent. Sangwoo raised his hand to cover his face, feeling it twist.
“I thought it had to be like that, and what? Should I scold him?”
“That’s funny. You don’t even know the address for real.” Sangwoo mocked Yoona in his mind.
“If you’re tired, just contact me. I can treat you to a meal.”
“I don’t need any help.”
“Not just that, I mean while we’re eating, I can help you curse and relieve stress in various ways.”
“I don’t want anything like that.”
Sangwoo turned to the side before meeting Yoona’s gaze, which seemed to pity him, even though he didn’t know where she was, but the other party had a close relationship with Jaeyoung. Sangwoo thought of one thing he could ask the girl for help with.
“If that’s the case, please tell me about the person Jaeyoung dated during his first and second year, if you know anything.”
Violating privacy, secretly investigating behind the scenes, collecting personal information. Sangwoo no longer cared about those things. Anyway, he stepped onto the path of immorality since he kissed Jaeyoung while “he thought” he was asleep.
“You’re too obsessed with this. Knowing that won’t do you any good.”
“If you want to predict the future, you need information from the past. It’s necessary for me.”
“Um...”
Yoona hesitated for a moment before starting to tell him that she passed the university entrance exam on her third try and didn’t know anything about Jaeyoung’s first and second year.
“It’s okay if it’s not complete. Just tell me what you know.”
“I understand.”
She raised one finger with a puzzled expression on her face.
“When I first came in, they were a couple from the Faculty of Fine Arts. The other party was two years older and they had been dating for about three months.”
Then she raised her second finger.
“During the hot season, I heard they broke up. Then he got a new girlfriend who was a dance major from Myung-Song University, about... two months ago? This person is also older, and they often quarrel. When he was punched in the face in the middle of a fight and left, he was relieved. When the fall season came, he had a new girlfriend again, who was an air hostess... I saw her when she came to the university, she was really beautiful, like... really beautiful.”
Yoona held up three fingers and painted her face as if she were in a dreamland.
“They broke up when he entered the military… which is like being together for only three months, you know? I’m not sure because we didn’t really keep in touch after he enlisted.”
“Go on.”
“I dropped out of school for a long time. When I came back to study, Jang Jaeyoung was already here. And then, about a year ago... he dated his tutor for a while. I heard she was thirty years old, but it seemed like it was only for a short time. Then he dated a law student for about four months? This girl was also very beautiful, even though she had already graduated... As far as I know, she was the last one.”
Sangwoo analyzed incomplete data from all five and concluded that most of them mean Jaeyoung dated women in the arts, service, and language fields who were older or the same age for an average of less than three months, amidst data pointing in the same direction. Only Sangwoo, who was in the science and engineering field, younger, male, and in a same-sex relationship, was the only exception, so there was nothing to refer to.
“Why did they break up?”
“It seems like he was bored. He didn’t really think about dating anyone seriously from the beginning. Plus, he wasn’t really affectionate. Not sweet at all, which makes his girlfriend sad.”
Finally, Sangwoo got some useful information from the girl’s words. It seemed that Jang Jaeyoung was bored with him because he cut off all contact like that. Yoona looked at Sangwoo and continued.
“But as far as I can see, you have the winner.”
“What do you mean?”
“Looking at the people he used to date, most of them would be the adult and sexy type, right? But you... how should I put it... simple? Younger, male, and the fact that he is doing something he has never done before means that you are special, right?”
‘Because I’m not his boyfriend.’
Sangwoo muttered to himself, but because of that, Sangwoo was confident that he could change the other’s mind, and their relationship was linked by their bodies. Sangwoo knew well that just kissing him was enough. Jaeyoung is hard now. Even though he learned from the internet, there were still techniques he hadn’t tried with the other person, but even if he tried to change the other’s mind...
“It’s useless, because it’s probably over anyway.”
The ending had been predetermined from the start, he was just foolishly lost in his love and didn’t prepare himself to deal with anything like a fool.
Yoona’s eyebrows dropped, she spoke with a face that reminded one of a pouting puppy.
“I understand that feeling well...”
“...”
“But even so, there is still time left, isn’t there? At least you can be together to the fullest before letting go, so you won’t have to regret it later. I myself have been in a similar situation, and all we did was argue until it ended badly.”
Yoona took a painful breath. Sangwoo thought the other person was funny, even though it wasn’t about himself.
“How’s Jang Jaeyoung treating you these days?”
“He’s just as terrible as ever.”
“Meeting the face but feeling like not seeing the person you are looking for, difficult to contact, right? Just keep drinking and ignoring phone calls, leaving me waiting. On weekends, they say they’re tired and want to rest, avoiding answering my questions. Only come when they feel like it, is it fair?”
Well, it’s not just like that, but the fact that the other party disappears is worse than all of that. As soon as she saw Sangwoo’s face, Yoona’s pouted and crossed her arms over her chest.
I’m really annoyed, I see it as some kind of death and don’t care at all.
Really. Never mind, I’ve already thought of something good. Just stay quiet...
Suddenly, the other person approached without explaining anything. Then she grabbed Sangwoo, took off his hat, and threw it on the table.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Just stay still, I will take care of it myself.”
She searched for Jaeyoung’s lip balm with an excited face, picked up a round container the size of her palm, opened it to smell it, and then walked towards him.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to put it on my hair.”
“Yep.”
“Oh. No, thank you. Just go far away.”
“Come on! Who said he wanted to look good, let’s do it a little harder.”
“Wait a minute.”
Although Sangwoo tried to resist, Yoona’s determination was strong, and she plunged in and messed up his hair, making Sangwoo have to give in and sit quietly. As he sat there feeling hopeless, the young woman hummed a song and styled his hair.
“You have handsome eyebrows.”
“Eyebrows are just eyebrows. How can they be made to look good?”
“So how can they be made to look good? You wear a cap every day...”
Yoona complained to herself and took a rectangular box from her own table, making a rattling noise. Then she took something that looked like a small toothbrush and pretended to poke Sangwoo’s eye with it when he looked away. As Sangwoo turned his face away unintentionally, Yoona grabbed his chin with her hand and pulled his face closer to her.
“Are you a child? Just stay still for a minute.”
“That’s not a knife, right?”
“Shh, be quiet.”
The metal touched the edge of his eyebrow and moved little by little, making a grating noise. Then it moved to the other edge of the eyebrow, and Yoona looked serious, as if doing something very important. Sangwoo even held his breath in fear of an accident happening.