[T/N] I apologize for grammar mistakes and incoherencies
Chapter 25: Remorse.
[Vee Vivis.]
I am at Mark's house.
There's not much happening in my daily life right now, but I admit that I am very tired. Not tired from my own self, but tired from Mark. He looks genuinely exhausted just because that child is gone. The child that he would have taken to be his own. That child that I thought was my child with him.
I am also sad. Maybe not as much as Mark, but I am sad. I have been nurturing and taking care of that unborn child for months. Watching his development and growth throughout. Being there with him since his mother left, until now when he is really gone, it saddens me a lot. But I have to console myself. So that I can comfort someone else.
“You only eat watermelons, are you planning to be full of sugar? Eat rice too.” Mark's friend's voice said, I can't remember if it was James.
“I'm eating.” Mark said.
“Two words, asshole, and look at Vee eating watermelons.” Wind said.
“I want to eat mine.” the person lying flat on the sofa asked his friend.
“Take your turn, I won't compete.” Mark replied.
“You have to say you're eating, not competing.” Mark corrected.
“Where did Phii Vee usually go? Can you insult me so I can feel normal?” James said.
“Not today. Right now, Phii Vee is following my lead.” Mark said with a smile to his friend.
“Satisfied? Is your husband finally satisfied?”
“...” Mark didn't answer anything but winked at his friend. Others may think it's annoying and feel tempted to punch someone, but I think it's cute. I want to playfully hit him, but not too hard.
“Don't want to eat, huh?” I walked over and then the three of them turned to look at me. Mark sat quietly without moving, except for his eyes. His eyes asked me how I would react.
“I'm not hungry.” Mark said, and Wind turned to his partner and silently mouthed the words “stubborn husband.”
“Don't want to eat? Or already full?” I asked Mark.
“Don't want to eat.”
“Then what do you want to eat?”
“You want me to make it for you?” He asked back.
“I'll go buy it.”
“Spaghetti carbonara.” I nodded.
“Sure, edit the image. I will arrange the basil that I bought for you on a plate.” James said softly.
“I want something difficult.” Wind pouted.
“Well, I want to eat spaghetti.” Mark turned to tell his friend.
“Okay, I'll go buy it for you.”
“No need, Phii. I'll go by myself. You didn't even tell me what you wanted. Wind just tricked me into buying shrimp basil. Your friend wants spaghetti.” James complained and got up to grab the car keys.
“I'll go with you. You don't remember the way, James.” Wind said.
“Yeah, come on. Let them go together.” James said.
“Why did you call me then? You called me to be the one buying food.”
“You guys don't need to complain.” Mark said trailing behind. His friend turned to put on a face but didn't say anything in return.
“You guys are stubborn.”
I thought about it and walked towards Mark. The younger person stood in front of me and moved closer to hold my hand. I gently brushed Mark's cheek with my hand and then leaned down to kiss his cheek.
“Hey, don't do that.” Mark said and brushed my hair away.
“Why?”
“Just don't.”
“Don't you want me to? Come on.” I said and sat down next to Mark, nudging him closer until our bodies were pressed together, then I looked into his eyes.
“I... I don't want you to.” Mark replied, pushing my face away.
“What's there to be ashamed of? You should be used to it by now.”
“Who said I'm ashamed?” I heard a barely audible grumble in my ear.
“I've done it many times.”
“But lately....”
“We're just not together anymore, Mark, but I'm still the same.” The smaller person turned to look at me, Mark moved away slightly to get a better look at my face.
“I... I'm sorry.” Mark said, his eyes revealing sadness and guilt.
“Sorry for what?” I asked, before realising that this recent change we've been dealing with was related, and the one who changed was Mark.
“Phii Vee...”
“Lately, you've been calling me that a lot, but I really don't like the sound of it coming from you.” I said and extended my index finger to touch Mark's lips.
“But I want to call you that, Phii.” Mark said.
“Can't you call me something else with a different tone?”
“Like what?”
“Like...” I said and followed my gaze from Mark's neck down to his chest.
“Phii Vee!”
“What's up?” I asked, moving closer and leaning in towards him, almost touching, while he leaned back into the soft sofa.
“Hey...Vee~ um!” I bent down and covered Mark's mouth with mine, just because he called me 'Hey-Phii Vee' along with a voice that showed no worry or hesitation, with eyes and a face that told me that right now, there's only embarrassment. This is all I want and want to see from him right now.
“Mmm.” I consider this kiss a reward, my reward for taking care of him so well throughout this time, and Mark's reward for dealing with what he faced equally as well as me.
“Mmm.” Mark's handsome face tilted before I gently pushed forward, closing our lips. My lips separated from his sweet mouth slightly to let him take the lead.
“Mmm.” I moaned in my throat when Mark's tongue touched the corners of my mouth like it was exploring, it touched all over my mouth before satisfaction set in and it returned to intertwine with my tongue. We kissed for a while before Mark slowly pushed me away.
“Haak! Haak!” Mark's gasping made me smile, so I leaned down and kissed his swollen lips again.
“Kiss!”
“Hey-Phii Vee!”
“Your lips are tired.” I said and looked at Mark as if scolding him, who was about to curse at me again but then remained quiet.
“I don't want anymore.” He said and turned to look at Vee.
“What's wrong, it hasn't even been ten minutes yet, is that enough?” I joked.
“Who needs ten minutes!” Mark said and pushed me away.
“It won't get tired in less than ten minutes, how can it?”
“Phii Vee~.” He dragged my name in a long, embarrassed tone, the kind of voice I hadn't heard in months. And this small, hoarse sound made me feel so good that I smiled nonchalantly.
“Mmm...” I pulled in and hugged Mark myself, it didn't bother him, he behaved softly and gently, making it easy for me to pull him in. I rested my chin on Mark's shoulder and pressed my nose against his beautiful collarbone.
“Um. Let's not play, Phii Vee.” Mark said with a shaky voice.
“Am I playing right here??” I murmured in his throat.
“You are working on it, um!”
“Just hugging, okay.” I replied.
“Hmm.” It was Mark, who responded by mumbling in his throat and then leaned back against my chest. His beautiful eyes looked at the rectangular screen in front of us, but his slender fingers clung to my hand and didn't let go.
“Are we going to make merit tomorrow?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“And then I'll take you to the mall.” I continued.
“Are you going to take me there tomorrow? Are you chasing me away?” I smiled as the person next to me turned to make a funny gesture towards me.
“This is your house. You shouldn't chase me away.”
“Well you are telling me to go back to class.” Mark said, his face starting to frown and his voice becoming shorter than before. I then tightened my grip on his waist to emphasise that I wasn't chasing him away. I didn't want to go far from him.
“Your friend called and said you have to go to school by next week.” I told Mark.
I talked to Kampan a few days ago about Mark's schooling. That kid was so careless. According to the people who are worried about their friend, when they knew that their friend was going to the hospital, they were very sad. But only those two guys came. It turned out that James and Wind became representatives of this gang to come and bother Mark and me.
“Oh, there's a quiz at the lab next week.” Mark said.
“That's it, but I'm not good at this? Do you have Yihwaa's notes? I can teach you.”
“No, I don't want to. I'll do it my way. I don't want to study.” He said. I pressed my chin down on his shoulder again.
“Don't want to study anything, hm?”
“Don't want to study with you.” Mark said.
“Am I a bad teacher?”
“No.”
“Then?”
“You charge expensive tuition fees, and right now I don't want to pay.” Mark said, making me burst into laughter uncontrollably.
“Every time you never want to pay.”
“Well, you forced me to.”
“Oh! You talk like I am a bad person, Mark.” I said and then moved my face closer to the nape of the other person's neck without them realising.
“Hey, who said you were a good person? You took advantage of this and that opportunity.” Mark said and shifted his face quickly.
“Wow, I haven't even touched your neck yet.” I said, looking annoyed at Mark.
“Oops, you just ate my neck while you tricked them into buying food.” Mark moved away as soon as he heard his friend's voice. I didn't even have a chance to touch his warm neck for a second. Those two troublemakers were really causing a ruckus. They not only bothered the sick person, but they also bothered me, who was just looking at them with cold eyes.
“What are you looking at, Phii Vee? If you're going to look like that, go ahead, catch my hair and kick me out of the house.”
“Can I?” I asked James back, letting Mark calmly move to sit next to me.
“You are not the owner of the house.” Mark said.
“Yeah, you're not the owner of the house.”
“I will do it, I don't care what you will do.” I asked James back.
“No, I won't. I won't say the words 'don't care.' I'm not like Phii Nuea, who says 'Don't care' because he has inheritance.” Windman said and walked in. I guessed the bag he was holding was a food bag, which was probably not to be missed because James took it out of Windman's hand and was about to go into the kitchen.
“Still not as rich as Khun Thitnuea, to say 'Don't care' like that.” he turned around and said to me.
“Why should I care about you all? Home is Mark’s.”
“Oh! Can't you just leave me alone?
“Whether I can or can't, I will kick you out.”
“Oh!”
“I don't care either, I also have inheritance.” I replied.
“Really?” Someone asked again, with Mark beside me.
“Yes, really. I don't care, I have inheritance...”
“....” everyone was silent when I became silent, until I gradually smiled when I saw Mark's confused face.
“Wife's inheritance.”
“Oops.”
“I'll go arrange the plates first. No need to kick us out, Mark.”
“I'll follow.” James said and made a startled gesture.
“Why do I have to kick you out?” Mark asked.
“For your husband.” James replied.
“Well, believe me, I can do it. Just because Phii Vee asked you to kick us out, why can't you kick us out?” Wind said.
“Well, I guess you guys should go set the table. My wife and I are hungry.” I said.
“Yeah, are we your wife’s friends or the servants?” James complained.
“You go and eat... It will be cool later.” Mark said, and the two people who were about to walk to the kitchen turned around to take a deep breath in front of Mark before turning back to face each other.
“Do you feel the same way I do, James?”
“I feel exactly the same way you do, Wind.”
We ate our meal as usual. Mark ate more when it was something he wanted, and it was a bit difficult because he didn't like to say what he wanted. But the person I wanted to eat didn't think he was a burden that made it difficult for me. For me, I wasn't burdened and I was doing everything willingly to make the person I love happy.
“We ate a lot of watermelon earlier.” Mark said.
“Tell me next time, just say what you want to eat.” I said.
“Okay.” Mark accepted.
“And when will you two go back?” I turned to ask the juniors from different faculties, but they didn't answer me immediately. They both looked at me, looked at Mark, before looking back at each other.
“This is why he was kicking us out, right, Wind?”
“I think you're right, James.”
“These morons, what are they doing?” I asked again as they continued to play as if they were still immature, but I have to say they weren't cute or huggable at all. They were much more annoying.
“It's not our house.”
“Well, our parents will be back late. What should we do?” Wind put on a pleading face to Mark, who then raised his hand to pat his friend's head.
“Whatever you do is up to us.” Mark said, pulling Wind's ear.
“Oh, so you think Phii Vee is better than us?” Wind whispered to himself.
“Well!”
“It's been like this since when?” James asked seriously.
“It's been a long time.” Mark replied, seeming to be joking but actually telling the truth. Ever since I had Mark, it was only him. It's rare for him to go out with friends. Not that I forbid him, but it's Mark himself who says he wants to be with me. It's not surprising that he would be so attached to me, and when we have to be apart, it's not surprising that he would feel lonely.
“I'll go home to sleep first and then go back tomorrow.” James said.
“Oh, and when will you come back to uni?” Win asked Mark.
“In a day or two, after performing a merit.”
“For your son?”
“Yeah.”
I smiled a little when Mark didn't seem too sad. Maybe it's because many people share the sadness from him. Both James and Win came to visit and have been talking to him for two or three days. Other friends called on video call, asking for news, and everyone spoke with the same voice that the little child is their nephew, and they all shared the same sorrow.
“A day or two more is fine. Phii Pak is probably on his way back.” James said.
“Not in time.” Mark said.
“Have you talked to Phii Pak?”
“Yeah, he cried more than I did, but he didn't make it in time either. Phii Pak will be back next Sunday. I was in high school at that time.” Mark said.
“Hmm...guess we have to wait until next time. His business is doing well. It can't be compromised.” Win said.
“Yeah. Ever since he started dating Phii Pak, everything has gotten better.” James said.
“Phii Pon life has gotten better because of Phii Pak.” Mark agreed.
“You're worshipping Phii Pak in front of Phii Vee, huh?” James said.
“I'm better... I've made Mark's life better than before.” I said without thinking much, just wanting to be better than his ex. Even though I said I didn't care anymore, he still holds a place in Mark's heart. I'm not as good as him for sure, but I just want to comfort myself.
“Did you say that because you've thought about it?” James turned to ask me.
“If you think about it, what do you use to think?” Wind asked immediately, even though I hadn't opened my mouth to respond to James yet.
“I...use my heart to think.” I replied with uncertainty. Because when I thought about it, nothing seemed as good as what the kid had said.
“Don't use Phii Vee's heart. Use mine.” Mark continued.
“Oh, okay!”
“Protect him, James. He needs protection.”
“I heard you. Let's go back to sleep.” James said, getting up and standing.
“Going to sleep at five-thirty?!” Mark exclaimed.
“Are you kicking me out? Oh, no, it's not Phii Vee's place to kick me out, right?”
“Maybe you could use your heart to kick us out.” Wind added, playing along and mimicking the person who had spoken earlier.
“Uh, um, then goodbye.”
“Are we really leaving?” James muttered softly.
“Are you not going?”
“I will go, see you tomorrow morning.” James said and then led Wind out.
Tomorrow morning, James will meet them at the hospital. Since Mark had been admitted until he came out, there was no chance for me to visit Ploy even once. I myself hadn't gone at all. Because every time I went to the hospital, I went to find only Mark. It might look bad that I left Ploy there like that, and it might look even worse that I let the mother and father take turns taking care of Ploy. But they said it was for the best.
Mark's parents were the ones taking care of the financial aspects, even though in reality I wanted the person who caused it to go and take responsibility. But they said they wanted to take responsibility for abandoning Ploy. They didn't let anyone go with her even though Ploy was pregnant enough. As for my parents, they were still in Bangkok, taking care of Mark the same way. It's just that today, the four of them working together taking care of things let me spend time with Mark at home. We went out to eat and probably planned to stop by the hospital. I heard Mark's mother call and say Ploy was okay, and she apologised to Mark for not taking care of the child well. Ploy was crying but didn't show any signs of depression or any other symptoms, just waiting for her physical condition to improve. As for Ton, don't even bother asking about him.
“Shall we go now?” Mark asked me as I was about to take a bite of my sandwich.
“Can I have a bite first?” I said and then walked over to him, pulling his waist, now thinner than before, and hugging him tightly.
“Hug me later. If you want to eat, just eat.” Mark said, not only saying that, but also using his slender finger to push the sandwich into my mouth.
“Hey, can I hug you and eat or not?” I asked, chewing my lips but still speaking.
“Just focus on eating. I will go and see about making the offerings first. Mom said she prepared them already.” I paused and let it go when Mark said there was something he needed to do, and it was something important.
We planned to offer merit in the late morning, but we will visit Ploy first in the morning. We only came together as it was Mom who was preparing the offerings. As for Dad, he separated from us. It's not that we don't get along, but they have similar and vastly different perspectives. It's better for us to be together in small numbers.
“Well, you can stay as long as you want. Mom said she will bring the items here. There's no need to go back home and then go to the temple.” I said before walking into Ploy's room.
“How long will we be here? Just an hour. I don't really like it here.” Mark said, and of course, I understood him.
Mark still thinks about the day the doctor came out and said he couldn't help his child. It's not only Mark but I also think about it. I just haven't spoken about it. He feels sorrowful and sad. It shouldn't hold much significance, but the two of us can't forget that time, not even a little bit.
“Hmm, then talk to him for a while and come out.” I said.
“Is she here yet?” I gestured instead of answering when Mark asked.
“I only came because of you.” I replied, expanding my gesture to emphasise my point, and then Mark stopped and understood.
“Don't be joking. You're the most important person. And how can I go find Ploy while you're here like this?”
“Well, I...”
“Don't say it like you don't want me to be here, don't... don't say it like you want me to go back and find her, I don't like it at all.” I said seriously, and then Mark, who likes to talk and think about things, fell silent.
“Mm, I won't say it anymore.” Mark said.
“I can handle dealing with ten perverted versions of you.” I said.
“Speak for yourself.” Mark said, raising an eyebrow to look at me.
“Yes, I will speak for myself. From my own mouth, as long as you don't belittle me to others, that's it.” I said.
“I didn't belittle you even a little bit.”
“You belittled me a lot.” I emphasised.
“I'm just... not sure if I can take care of you. I've neglected her as a child until he...”
“But I'm confident, and you don't have to take care of me. I'll take care of myself. It's not your fault about the child, and I'm really glad that we decided to take care of him. And I'm so proud of you for taking care of her for this long.” I said as we walked to Ploy's room.
“Oh.”
“It's okay to be sad, but smile. Because I love your smile.” I said, placing my hand on Mark's head and giving it a gentle squeeze.
“I understand.”
“That's good. Let's go inside.” I said, knocking on the door three times.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
“Come in.” I heard Tae's voice. I called out my colleague's name, but couldn't see his face. I then saw Ploy lying on the bed and a wheelchair next to it. The person sitting on the wheelchair was Ton.
“Tae?” I called out the name of my colleague whom I rarely see now, and looked inside the room. Ploy was lying on the bed, and there was a wheelchair next to it. The person sitting on the wheelchair was Ton.
“How did you come here, Vee and Mark too?” Tae asked, looking confused.
“Vee... Mark...” Ploy called out to both of us.
“Do you know him, Tae?” Ton asked.
“This is my friend, and she's my brother's girlfriend.” Tae said, introducing me to Ton, then looking at Mark.
“Is Ton... your brother?” I asked Tae.
“Yeah, do you know him?” Ton asked.
“I do.” Do I know him well? Oh, really.
“Why are you guys here? To visit Ploy? Or something else?” Tae asked. I slightly moved back and held Mark's hand tightly.
“To apologise.” I said.
“I am sorry Nong Mark. Sorry for not taking good care of the child.”
“What is it?” Tae walked in and asked me.
“Ploy is the mother of your brother Ton’s child, right?” I asked, turning the question back to him.
“Uh-huh.”
“And your so-called brother didn't take responsibility, Mark was the one who decided to take on the role as the child's father. And then Ploy came to live with Mark. If I remember correctly, right before she gave birth, your brother wanted to be the father, right?” I turned to ask him, while Mark lightly squeezed my hand.
“Yes...”
“And then your brother went to Mark's house, looking for Ploy. They argued until there was a car accident, until our child...no, until your boyfriend's child was gone.” I said, admitting that I was speaking out of frustration. The frustration that wasn't there at first, but now it was because I saw his face. If it wasn't obvious that he was holding hands with Mark. I would probably have pulled him by his shirt. There was no one on the other side. But the bastard had come to offer his face again.
“And...Mark and Ploy are...”
“Mark is my boyfriend, and as for Ploy, she's my ex-girlfriend.” I said.
“What the hell is this?”
“My issue is not as insignificant as yours, abandoning a child is not enough, you have to hurt the child.” I responded.
“It was an accident!” Ton asked.
“Is it Ton? If you had stayed indifferent and didn't come, acted like you did before, then this would not happen to our child.” Mark said.
“Are you saying I wanted it to happen? Tell me!”
“Ton, you wanted it to happen, so you pushed Ploy into the oncoming car!” I said.
“You damn Ton!” It was not me. Not Mark, but Tae, who walked in and pulled his shirt up.
“I didn't mean for it to turn out like this, okay! I didn't think it would be this bad. I was frustrated at that time.” Ton said. His eyes looked at me, then looked straight at Mark, and in that moment, I saw a hint of guilt in his eyes.
“I... I, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mark.” Ploy said and extended her beautiful hand to Mark, and then the owner of my body went to find Ploy.
“It's okay. Phii Ploy, are you hurt a lot?” Ploy shook her head, substituting her answer, her beautiful eyes reddened but no tears flowed out.
“Look at him, scum.” I turned to find Ton. “Who is the one in pain? Who has suffered because of your thoughtlessness? You didn't think about anything from the beginning.” I said, but this time it didn't get a response from him.
“I know I shouldn't speak up, and I know that it won't help anything, but I...I'm sorry.” These were the words I never expected to hear from the man standing next to me. I turned to look at him, and he looked back at me, feeling truly sorry.
“I...”
“I did it because I love Ploy, I may not fully understand it yet, but I know that I truly love Ploy. As for the issue of our child, I can't take it back, but I feel guilty, truly guilty.” Ton said to Mark, who turned to face the person who caused all this confusion. Initially, I thought Mark would be angry, but he just looked at him calmly before giving a small smile.
“We both can't undo what has been done, but let's apologise to ourselves for this.”
TBC.
Chapter 26: Things to Remember.
[Mark Masa.]
I gazed at the still water flowing into the drain.
At this moment, I asked for nothing more than peace in my mind. It is not yet a year, but there are too many unresolved issues. What I have to face now is so difficult and cold. I can't bring anything back, no matter how much I want to. For now, all I can do is wish him well and pray for myself to improve quickly.
“Let's go together.” It's fortunate that I have someone by my side in times of sorrow like this, Phii Vee.
“I haven't seen his face yet, but I miss him.” I said to Phii Vee.
“Keep him in your heart and live your life for his sake. Don't forget him, but remember the good times we had with him.” Phii Vee advised.
“I haven't done anything for him yet. What good memories can I keep?” I replied.
“Once, you saved his life. You've done a great job, Mark.” Phii Vee reminded me.
“Hmm.” I murmured in response.
“You're really good.” Phii Vee said with a smile. I returned the smile.
I'm no longer angry at Phii Ploy or Phii Ton. When I spoke in the morning, I truly believed that I couldn't bring our child back. Everyone must take responsibility by reflecting on their actions towards these small living beings. But I'm not drowning in that sadness because I have someone who is there for me, the person who comforts me when I cry. The person who cares for me. The person who reminds and teaches me, and the person who loves me. Not just Phii Vee, but also my parents. Both my family and Phii Vee's family. Both my friends and Phii Vee's friends. They are my strength, and Phii Vee is the one who keeps me grounded.
“Stay in the present.” The monk said this, but I feel like it's harder than it should be. I know that I can do it. I have to make it happen, but it's difficult, but when Phii Vee said, “Stay here. Stay with me.” I felt my purpose at that moment.
The present that the monk is talking about is Phii Vee.
We walk out to feed the fish, followed by buying bird food. It's strange to see Phii Vee doing something like this, but... Phii Vee in the middle of those grey birds matches them so well. The white shirt he wears makes him look bright in the middle of the sunny day. The weather also makes my grey shirt look brighter when I stand nearby.
Snap!
“Hmm?” I turned to look at the source of the voice. Phii Vee's mother took a picture of the two of us when they came to find us.
“You look beautiful, dear.” His mother said and handed me her phone to look at.
It's a picture of Phii Vee and I not standing close together. There is distance between us, and these birds are blocking us. The picture of Phii Vee with these birds looks like he is at ease, and my gaze towards Phii Vee is filled with contentment.
“Who is beautiful?” Phii Vee said and walked in to see the picture with his mother.
“Am I beautiful?” he asked after hesitating and looking at himself.
“Beautiful.” Phii Vee said and sent the picture to his own phone.
“Wow, beautiful birds.” I said when Phii Vee finished looking at the picture.
“Heh, you're beautiful.” Phii Vee said.
“Beautiful what? Look at my face first.” I said, well, my face is not really beautiful like that.
“You're beautiful. When you look like this, you're incredibly beautiful.” Phii Vee said and looked into my eyes, and I returned the gaze to Phii Vee.
“We don't have to stay here anymore.” His mother said.
“But I'm still a guardian. I'm still your father and mother.” My father said, and then walked towards my mother.
“What's wrong? Does the temple want to kick me out?” Phii Vee turned to his father with a disapproving face.
“Does it matter? Stop flirting with each other in the temple.” My father said.
“I'm not flirting.” Phii Vee corrected.
“Flirt!” And the four of us paused at the words of our fathers, my father and Phii Vee's father speaking at the same time.
“You two are quick to agree on this issue, but not other issues.” Phii Vee muttered softly, frowning, and then his mother smiled and laughed. I smiled too, at the story of today. Not everything was good, but there were many good things for me to remember.
“You guys switch.” My mother said.
“Oh, Vee will take me and his father to the airport.” Phii Vee's mother said.
“We can go together.” I said.
“No, I actually have something to talk to Vee for a bit. Anyway, Mark, please take care of Vee for me. We won't be able to take care of him.” Phii Vee's mother said.
“Take care of who? Mark is my son.” My father said.
“Mine too.” Phii Vee's father said.
“And what about me?? Who is my father?” Phii Vee looked down and whispered to me.
“You were adopted.” I said.
“Heartless.”
“Vee!”
“Yes, Dad! I am gonna go now.” Phii Vee said and walked away from me.
“Hurry up, I'll really cut off our father and son relationship.” Vee’s father said.
“Yes, Dad, let's go.” Phii Vee said and turned away from me, before poking me with his thin finger, his beautiful eyes looking at me with tenderness, and I smiled back.
“Have a safe journey, Dad and Mom.” I said.
“Oh, you need to hurry back to school.” Phii Vee's father said.
“Come visit this way again.” My mother said.
“Next time, let it be for another occasion.” Phii Vee's mother said.
“Next time, bring some betel nuts with you.”
“Dad....” I turned to my own father and looked at Phii Vee, who seemed so incredulous. He was left hanging.
“Vee, let’s go home.” Phii Vee's father called.
“Dad, let me talk to Mark’s father first.” Phii Vee said before he walked to my dad, but Phii Vee’s dad caught up with Phii Vee first.
“Vee let’s go back, I will take you to sell the land so can marry his son.”
Phii Vee and dad won't really do that. If they really did, I probably wouldn't allow it. It's too much for Phii Vee to do that. For me, I don't need to get married. I've never thought about getting married. Just as long as everyone understands that me and Vee are together, it's good enough for me. No need for big ceremonies or anything.
And I think my dad was just kidding.
But I think dad Phii Vee meant it.
“Are you feeling better?” Mom asked me.
“Yes, thank you dad and mom... for everything.” I said, thanking them for taking care of Phii Ploy, for understanding and accepting my decision at that time, even though things may not be as expected now.
“It's not something to thank for.” Dad replied.
“We are your dad and mom, no matter what, we will always be with you.” Mom said and gently touched my head.
“Mom...”
“It's not what we hoped for now, but it can be rebuilt.” Dad said to me, and his thick hand rested on my back again.
“I don't want it anymore.” I said.
“If you want it, you can compromise or do something.” Dad said.
“Just let the child make up his mind first.” Mom said.
“Hmm...” Dad said. I turned and smiled at him.
I never thought he could be this gentle, but now his hand that rests on my back makes me feel much better than ever. It's warm, different from Phii Vee, but I feel equally good and relieved. And receiving the tenderness and gentleness of mom also helped relieve my sadness.
“When will you go back to school?” Mom asked.
“In two or three days. I've been absent for a long time.” I answered.
“Don't have any problems, but if it's too hard, don't force yourself.” I looked into my dad's eyes again. I realised that he's a gentle person, I just never thought he could be this gentle. Phii Vee always tells me that my dad loves me no less than him, that my dad worries and cares for me more than anyone else, but I didn't think it would be this much. Dad didn't show it in the past, but now that he has shown it, I feel very lucky to have such a good family. And just like this, I should be satisfied.
“I can handle it.” I replied.
“Oh, if you can then go do it. If you're tired, don't force yourself.” My dad said again and I paused to take it in.
“I am really worried, can you take a break for a semester, my child?” My mom asked.
“It's not that serious, ma'am.” My dad said.
“Are you not worried about our child at all?” I started to look at both of them when they argued because of me.
“Mom...”
“Because I'm worried and I want him to become stronger. I know he is sad, but Mark has to learn to deal with it and grow up. He has to take responsibility for the choices he makes, and then he will become an adult.” My dad turned to me.
“But he is still a child...” My mom said.
“What child? Why you future wife of that man, if that man asks for marriage then what?.” My dad said.
“Dad.” And then I blushed at my dad's mocking gaze.
“Or is it not true?” My dad raised his eyebrow and asked.
“You're teasing him, honey.” My mom said.
“Even if he asks, I won't agree to give you to him. I just tricked him into getting the money for it.” My dad said.
“Oh...how about you dear husband? What are you going to do if Vee really comes for Mark?”
“Well, let's wait and see if he is really serious.”
“I don't want it to be like that.” I told my dad firmly.
“Don't want what?”
“I don't want to get married...”
“See, he can ask but I won't agree.” My dad said and gently patted my head.
“I think... I'm asking for your hand.” Phii Vee walked in and said to my dad. A handsome man walked in and stood next to me, extending his long arm around my neck.
“Doesn't count.” My dad said.
“Oops!”
“And your arms too, they are heavy on my son.” Dad said as he brushed Phii Vee's arms away.
“You should rest, dear. Come down later to eat.” Mom said to us, and I paused, facing her.
“Will Mom cook or should Dad do it?” I asked.
“Do you want my cooking, dear?” Mom asked me in return.
“Yes...”
“Then Mom will cook, dear.” Mom said again, patting my head.
“Alright, then you go rest. Did your mom and dad board the plane?” Dad turned to ask Phii Vee.
“Yes, they should be passing through the boarding gate.” Phii Vee said.
“Did you not wait until the plane took off?” Dad turned back to ask.
“No, I hadn't.”
“You're not worried about your Dad and Mom?”
“I'm more worried about my wife.” Phii Vee said, putting his arm on my shoulder again.
“Veevis!”
“What? We are going to bed.” Phii Vee said and he walked away, cutting off my dad's gaze who looked at Phii Vee with green eyes. Phii Vee and Dad were like this, they seemed not to get along, like they were bored and fed up with each other, but they still care for one another. That's what I think, that my dad loves Phii Vee just like he loves me. Because Phii Vee made my dad and me understand each other better. Phii Vee turned our family into a real family.
“Let’s go back to the bedroom.” Phii Vee said after entering the room.
“Really?” I asked back.
“Yes.”
“And what about work?” I asked back, even though Phii Vee had been working for several months and could take time off or work outside the office, how is it possible for him to have that much time off?
“I'm taking a leave.”
“A vacation or quitting?” I asked back.
“If I quit and you don't mind, I will quit.”
“Funny.”
“I'll write an email to the boss right now.” Phii Vee said and walked to my computer.
“And where will you get the money for the bride price?” I asked, and he looked at me with a handsome face.
“Who said he was going to run away with me?” Phii Vee said and walked towards me.
“No one.” I replied and walked back.
“Hmm?”
“Don't come in.” I said and pointed at his face.
“I will come in.” Phii Vee said and walked in again.
“Phii Vee!”
“What? Who didn't say anything.”
“Oh!” And I had to stop because Phii Vee grabbed my waist and managed to pull me.
“Who?”
“No one~” I said, turning my head to avoid his handsome face that was approaching.
“Speak.”
“No... hmm~.”
Phii Vee kissed me.
I tried to flee, but it was unsuccessful. No matter how I tried to escape, he would always find me. It wasn't just about the physical aspect, but it was also a matter of the heart. I surrendered to him. Surrendering didn't mean losing, but it meant surrendering to bring him closer. I surrendered to Phii Vee to have him as my friend.
“Mmm.” Phii Vee tilted his neck, and I followed. His beautiful lips didn't stop moving. Light and gentle, following his mood. As for me, I let my face express consent and let my emotions follow Phii Vee. I let him kiss softly. I let him have his own way.
“Darling... hmm~.” Phii Vee only let go of my mouth for a moment to take a breath, and with just a few seconds, his beautiful lips descended again. I could only push his chest lightly and let him continue to kiss. His moist tongue explored my mouth before intertwining with mine, just like every time. Even though I didn't want to do it the first time, I gave in when Phii Vee lightly touched my lips with his tongue.
“Mmm.” We kissed for a long time. So long that I almost melted here. It was sweet. Just as sweet as every kiss we had before, but it was much warmer than any touch before.
“Phii Vee...” I called out softly after he moved away. A handsome man looked at me even though I was still breathing heavily.
“Don't want to?” Phii Vee said, his beautiful hand touching my cheek, and his gentle gaze heating up.
“I...” I still don't want to do it now. That was the message conveyed by my gaze, and it was very fortunate for me that Phii Vee understood.
“I love you.” Phii Vee said and slowly approached me. His strong hands hugged my waist and his beautiful lips pressed a kiss on my forehead. It was the best feeling I had experienced in the past few months, it felt better than when we argued and managed to make up with each other, just Phii Vee kissing my forehead. This time, I felt even better than all the kisses we had shared.
“I love you too.” I said, sliding my hand to embrace him and resting my head on Phii Vee's shoulder.
How many times have I told him that he is my refuge, that he is everything to me? I love Phii Vee so much, more than anyone else. Because Phii Vee has done so many things for me, healed me in many emotions. Many people might say he is lucky, but that's not true... I am the lucky one. I am the one who has him by my side every day.
“I love you so much.”
“Of course.” I said and leaned up to lightly kiss his chin.
“Hmm...”
“Are you angry? That I didn't want to do it?” I asked worriedly.
“No...” Phii Vee said and placed his hand on my head. “I like it when you feel comfortable and we make love in the way that makes you comfortable.”
“Comfortable?”
“Mmm...”
“Then give me another kiss.”
“Mmm...” Phii Vee gently pressed his lips against mine.
“Mmm...” I moved my lips in sync with Phii Vee's rhythm, slowly but clearly expressing every emotion. His beautiful hands slowly pulled my waist closer, and his handsome face leaned down until it was close.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
“I am coming in... Veevis!”
“Hey, mister!”
“Dad!”
“Knock and wait for someone to open, son.” Phii Vee said, turning to tell my dad who was standing in front of the room.
“Is it true? Is it true that it's time to kiss my son?” dad asked, and then his gaze turned to me, making me clench my teeth, feeling the lingering sensation on the corners of my mouth.
“Well…it…”
“It's not time!” dad said, coming out of his daze, leaving me stunned.
“Dad…is there something wrong?” I asked.
“Is there something wrong with me coming in?” dad replied, raising his eyebrows.
“No…it's just…like earlier, what were you going to say?” I said softly, almost leaning close to Phii Vee's back because I was afraid of my dad's piercing gaze.
“Go help your mother cook.” dad said, his eyes not stopping their piercing look.
“But mom told us to take a break.”
“But you guys didn't take a break!” Dad immediately retorted, and I couldn't help but smile.
“What are you laughing at?” Phii Vee asked angrily.
“Are you going to scold both me and my dad?” I made a confused face, both of us. My dad paused and Phii Vee smiled mischievously.
“No, not both. It's kinda like…”
“Veevis!” my dad said loudly, making Phii Vee smugly smile and then pause.
“Go. Go to the kitchen and help mom.” Phii Vee said and then reached out to grab my arm.
“You are going to the kitchen, right?” Dad said when we reached the front door.
“Yes, but I want to hold hands…uh, boyfriend, hold hands with my boyfriend.” Phii Vee said.
“You're being too corny, it's starting to get annoying.” dad said, looking at Phii Vee's face.
“Even though I may be annoying, I truly love your son, dad.” Phii Vee said and then locked eyes with my dad. I didn't know how Phii Vee's eyes looked, but my dad looked at him quietly and their locked eyes accompanied the increasing grip on my wrist.
“Ugh.” dad said and then moved aside for us to walk out.
I don't know what my father and Phii Vee are communicating about. Because my father is quiet and Phii Vee is also quiet. After they made eye contact, my father spoke only that much, and Phii Vee just nodded. Don't say it's about men. Because I am a man and I should know. When I think it's about me.
“What were you talking about with my father earlier?” I asked Phii Vee as we were walking downstairs.
“Huh? Talking about what?”
“Earlier.” I asked.
“Why are you asking me about it?” Phii Vee asked again.
“I don't know, do I?” I said.
“Oh! So you did hear it.”
“You were looking at each other.” I said and pulled Phii Vee's arm before walking downstairs.
“I'm just looking at your father.” Phii Vee said.
“Phii Vee~.”
“Okay, he just looked at me back.”
“....”
“Like, take care of my son, he cares about you.”
“Really...” I went quiet, then slowly let go of Phii Vee's arm. I have made everyone worry so much for so long. I don't feel good about myself, but I feel good that there are people who care, especially my father, and it's even better that he entrusted me to Phii Vee. It means he trusts Phii Vee and trusts me, and is confident in my choices.
“Oh, but I don't understand why he has to entrust you. When he doesn't entrust me but still takes good care of me.”
“Really?” I asked back playfully, and Phii Vee turned and poked my forehead.
“Not really, anywhere.” He said flatly.
“Do I have to remind you where?”
“Um, no need.” He said.
“Have you figured it out?”
“No, not yet. It's not that I don't remember.” Phii Vee said before dragging me downstairs, and the words “don't remember” made me have to walk and smile behind him like this, it means those stories are not worth remembering. If it wasn't for me, Phii Vee wouldn't remember.
“Phii Vee.”
“Hmm?”
“Don't you remember?” I asked.
“I only remember that you loved me so much back then. It's the same now, I only remember how good it feels. As long as there's nothing else that makes you feel good, you just have to remember.” Phii Vee said, looking at me.
That's it.
That is all, as Phii Vee said, actually when you really think about it, there were many good things that happened recently. At the very least, it was my intention and the sound of that child's heartbeat that made my heart swell again. It made me feel fulfilled even though I didn't drink anything. He made me want to be a person with a beautiful, vibrant and loved life, not just for myself, but for him too. For another living thing that taught me another feeling. Even though he's not here right now, the feeling I have for him won't go away.
TBC.